Organization Cheese
by ilovefetacheese
Summary: A wacky adventure of epic proportions, including, but not limited to: cheese, disco balls, hair care tips, a bright pink mohawk, an evil Namine, love triangles, and Zexion possessing some intense ballerina skills.
1. Prologue Part 1: Death

**EDIT: THE ASTERISCKS HAVE BEEN FIXED! A CONTINUITY ISSUE HAS BEEN FIXED! NOW ORGANIZATION CHEESE IS PERFECT FOR YOUR READING PLEASURE!**

**ORGANIZATION CHEESE**

_**By**__: ilovefetacheese_and her sister, _ilovefetamorethanyou_ (an ff username—check her work out!)

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy or any of their affiliations.

**Prologue Part One of Two: **_**Death**_

Cloud looked down at his feet. His boots were worn from travel; they had long since faded to brown and gray from the dirt and dust of his journey. There was even a hole in the bottom of one, exposing his bare foot to rocks along the way. As he stood still taking in the view from atop one of the mountains of the Alps of Italy, blood slowly trickled from his scraped foot onto the ground below. His blood contrasted the light snow on brown dirt—blood that would soon be precious.

As Cloud flipped his cell phone shut after snapping several pictures to send to Tifa once he got service again—darn AT&T…—he shoved it into his pants pocket and started walking again. Ah, that seemed to be all he did these days…walk walk walk walk walk walk walk walk spike hair walk walk walk….Well, he was really getting into eating, too. Those little Italian cafes just serve the best food…ah; you can just _taste_the mountain air in that spaghetti! Oh, and the cheese! Cloud absolutely loved the homemade cheese.

Suddenly, Cloud stiffened. He sniffed the air. What was that…scent? Could it be—The Cheese of Youth? Cloud snapped and summoned his motorcycle, hopping on and following the scent trail. After ten minutes, he arrived at an ominous Roman ruins site, and followed his nose until he arrived at a cemetery gate. Walking through it, the world went black.

"HELLO! Hello! Hello!" Cloud yelled out, his voice echoing against the vast hills of grave darkness. He waited to see if his eyes would adjust, but they didn't. 'Am I dead? Blind?' Cloud thought. 'Hmm…I don't think I'm dead…If I can think, I'm still alive, right? Well, I still smell, at least. And oh is that cheese made from fresh goat's milk. Wait….isn't it thousands of years old? Well, I guess that's the magic of it….'

Cloud took a step, then another one. He could have sworn something brushed against his sleeve, but ignored it—his senses had peaked from the newfound loss of sight. Cloud tripped on a sharp rock and felt blood once again rush over his foot and out the hole in his shoe….Wait a minute. He saw light in the corner of one of his eyes. His perfect hair seemed obstructed in some way. A person's low grunt filled his ears.

"Geez, Cloud, do you have to be such a rebel? Can't you spare a couple of bottles of hair cement to buy yourself some new boots? I know JC Penny has super sales every Saturday!"

Suddenly there was darkness no more—Cloud could see everything clearly in the evening sky, slowly casting shadows across the landscape.

"Cloud, I was having so much fun until I stepped into your icky blood…totally staining my new ballerina slippers." A familiar voice sounded from behind Cloud. He turned around, and Cloud saw Vincent, his previous companion…wearing a tutu and holding a blindfold.

"Vincent—you had me blindfolded the whole time? How? And what're you wearing?"

"I thought I should let you know so I followed you out here. I blindfolded you for dramatic effect using my super ninja skillage. Oh, and I'm using my years of training experience and have adapted a new lifestyle—I've taken up ballet!"

"Umm…why?" Cloud asked, more than a little creeped out. A tutu? Hello?

"Because I said so!" A deep voice whispered in Cloud's left ear. Cloud whirled around to find Sephiroth behind him.

"The cheese is miiine," Sephiroth hissed, drawing his sword and assuming a samurai stance.

"Over my dead body!" Cloud exclaimed, "Where is it? Where's the cheese?"

"My dear friend, you've had it all this time!" Sephiroth snarled. "And now it will be mine!" Sephiroth lashed out with his sword before Cloud had time to react. Cloud fell to the ground, killed instantly, a nasty gash in his chest bleeding profusely.

"Cloud…" a gentle female voice whispered. "Cloud, open your eyes."

Cloud blinked. He sat up, rubbed his head and looked around him. He was in an unknown, dreamlike field of flowers.

"Cloud…" he heard in his right ear. He turned.

"Aerith?" he cried, "Is it really you? I thought you were…I mean…Sephiroth…he killed you!"

"He did. And he killed you too, Cloud." Aerith stated solemnly.

Cloud, about to speak up in protest and rage, was silenced by Aerith's gentle finger on his lips.

"You've been given a second chance, Cloud." Cloud looked startled.

"Within your heart is locked a very special item. The Cheese of Youth." Aerith explained calmly.

"No!" Cloud gasped, "That can't be!"

"Yes. Now, there is only one way to unlock what is within your heart, and that is by using a very special key." she continued, "This traveler here," she gestured to her right, where a hooded figure emerged from a black portal, "Has made his way to the spirit world, and holds what is called the keyblade."

"I felt something calling me to this world—Aerith's pure heart." The stranger elaborated.

"I sensed terrible happenings, Cloud. I knew what Sephiroth would do, so I touched this young man's heart with mine and reached out to him, summoning him here." She paused, then grabbed Cloud's hand, looking up at him. "It is your destiny, Cloud. Live. Live for yourself and…live for me. That's all I ask." A single tear drop fell from her.

"I—I promise," Cloud solemnly vowed. "Thank you, Aerith."

The strange young man pushed back his hood, revealing unruly blonde spikes and stunning, unnatural blue eyes. "Are you ready?" He asked Cloud.

As Cloud gazed into the stranger's deep blue eyes, he felt as if he saw someone…trapped—as if there was another person, within his soul. Something awakened within Cloud that moment, deep in his soul. He felt it…this…this power! He felt like he could do anything. He gazed back into those clear blue eyes.

"No. Not yet." Cloud turned toward Aerith. "Aerith, I'm taking you with me. We both died by Sephiroth's hand, we can both go back."

"Cloud…no. I've already spent my time on Earth. I look after this place, some travelers once in a while. I keep order. I can't let you go around upsetting the balance. Cloud, you've already earned a second chance—"

"I can't wait much longer. I must unlock the cheese, or his soul will not return to Earth with his body. Please, act quickly." The traveler explained in a clear, urgent voice.

"Cloud, go now. Go before I change my mind." Aerith said.

"But, Aerith!" Cloud grabbed her hand. "We can do this! I feel the power within me—I feel un-beatable!"

Aerith turned her head, tears brimming in her eyes. "Cloud, don't make this mistake or I'll regret it as long as I possess a conscious—"

"Yes, warrior." The traveler interrupted. "Don't make the same mistake I did."

Cloud looked into the Boy's eyes and grabbed Aerith's hands, pulling her towards him. "Do it."

"Cloud, no!" Aerith cried as she struggled to break free of Cloud's grasp; but he was too strong.

"Brace yourselves," the boy warned, then assumed a fighting stance.

"Yaah!" The blue-eyed boy cried as he plunged the keyblade through Aerith's and Cloud's hearts all at once, turning it as if he was unlocking a door.

"What was once locked is now open," the boy stated, withdrawing the keyblade from the two figures standing before him and slinging it over his shoulder.

Aerith slumped against Cloud as he fell to the ground. Before they both passed out, however, they heard the boy adjust his hood, covering his eyes, declaring, "This world has been sealed," as he disappeared.


	2. Prologue Part 2: Rebirth

**Organization Cheese**

_By: ilovefetacheese_and her sister, _ilovefetamorethanyou_ (not an ff username)

_All will be cleared up in future chapters... Oh my, what have we gotten ourselves into? Please enjoy!_

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy or any of their affiliations.

_Prologue Part Two of Two: Rebirth_

Cloud opened his eyes and cringed from the bright sunlight. What was he doing here? And where was here? Then, it all came rushing back to him. The Cheese of Youth, death, Sephiroth, Aerith… Aerith! Cloud sat up and looked around the area. But she was gone.

Cloud swore. "I can't lose her again!" Cloud looked beside him where Aerith used to be. In her place was her necklace, and a rose. He picked them up…there was a note attached to the rose. It read:

'_She's in The World That Never Was'_

"Need a hand?" Cloud turned his head at the sound of a familiar voice. Beside him stood Tifa, her hand outstretched.

"Oh, hi! Wait…where am I?"

"You're in Radiant Garden, Cloud, where else? Your gummy ship must've crash-landed or something...you look a little scratched up." '_…What?_' Cloud thought. '_Why am I here? Why why why do I have to be here?'_

"Oh…haha…yeah! That must've done something to my head…had to skydive, you know, before my gummy ship self-destructed!"

"Ha, you superman…how was your journey?"

"Err…okay." Cloud turned away.

"Did you find the Cheese of Youth?" Tifa circled around Cloud to regain eye contact. Cloud looked down at his chest.

"A-apparently…" he replied.

"Oh-kay… Well, let's go to Merlin's house for some tea!" Tifa smiled.

"No. Er, I mean…I'm kind of in a rush to go somewhere else now."

"Already?"

"Oh, I forgot. I took some pictures of the Alps for you. I was going to send them, but I didn't have service..._up there_." Cloud thought about the double meaning.

"Aw, thanks, Cloud…you're always thinking of me. Do you really have to go—oh! What's that?" Tifa gestured to the rose and locket.

"Oh—this is actually why I have to go—I've just got to deliver these things to a house on the edge of town…no big deal." Cloud smiled

"Ah, okay! Well, you'll be back, right?"

"Of course. Soon." Cloud was trying to avoid eye contact the whole time. Regardless, she swept him up in a big hug to bid adieu for just a while…Cloud turned and walked away quickly. He wished he hadn't betrayed her to her face…

Tifa watched Cloud turn around and walk off. Her eyes slowly glowed gold, more and more…at the same time, a certain something glowed as well on the back of Cloud's neck.

Somewhere, deep in her heart, she just wished she hadn't betrayed him to his face.

* * *

Cloud broke into a high-speed run as he turned a corner, out of Tifa's sight. He was headed toward the gummi ship docks. There was going to be some serious hijacking going on.

* * *

Cloud threw open the doors of the Castle That Never Was. He recklessly ran through the various obstacles until he reached an ominous pair of doors. He had no hesitation as the adrenaline rushed through his veins. Cloud had his sword drawn, reaching for the door handle, but…the doors opened for him.

"Hellooo…Well, well, what a surprise…Cloud? Again? How many times must we fight?" Sephiroth loomed before him, dark waves emanating from his very being.

Cloud wanted to expect this, but he was still stunned. But the Cheese waves flowing through him made him feel immortal. Cloud's sword was quickly at Sephiroth's throat.

"WHERE. IS. SHE?" Cloud screamed.

"Why, Cloud…." Sephiroth cackled. That laugh would ring in his nightmares, frozen, for the rest of Cloud's life. "Can you not feel her presence?" She's right in this very room."

Cloud turned his head to see a cloaked figure in black slowly lower its hood. Aerith.

"Aerith!" Cloud ran towards her. "Aerith, are you okay?" Cloud took her hand and looked down at her, as she looked up.

Cloud's blue eyes met Aerith's. They were laced with gold now. She looked up at him with a befuddled expression.

"Who…are you?"

"Aerith…?"

"Aerith?" She looked at him, puzzled.

"You don't even remember your name?" Cloud asked, startled and worried.

"My name is Thixera," she started calmly, then looked at Sephiroth questioningly.

"You know what to do," he said to her.

Aerith looked into Cloud's eyes. "I believe it's time for you to die." An elegant, tall staff materialized in Aerith's hand, and she stood straighter.

"Heh. Guess that's my punishment, eh? Well, you warned me. I'll take care of this, Aerith." Cloud said solemnly, then snapped his fingers. He heard his motorcycle roaring to life outside.

Cloud tried to knock Aerith unconscious with the hilt of his sword, but it stopped an inch from her body.

"Hmph… a force field. I'll get to the bottom of this." Cloud instantly had his sword at Sephiroth across the room, but Sephy was no fool. His sword was drawn just as fast.

"_Hiss_," Cloud drew in a sharp breath when Sephy's sword sliced an ugly gash on his chest, blood dripping down like rain.

"Die," Sephiroth declared, "For good."

_No, not again!_ Cloud thought to himself, _I will save Aerith with…_ "THE POWER OF CHEESE!" Cloud began to glow with a light from within. He parried Sephiroth's blow, and their battle gained in speed and intensity. They exchanged blows, fighting all over the room, Cloud's blood continuing to fall on the floor, staining the white tiles and the room's thirteen strange tablets with small red splatters.

Finally, neither of them could fight any longer. Struggling for breath, Sephiroth hissed, "Aerith! Finish the job!"

"Of course." She said sweetly.

"Aerith!" Cloud gasped. "Remember! Remember your true name! Remember! It is all locked deep within your heart!"

"I have no heart," she replied, smiling. She swung her staff around. "Die, baby!"

Suddenly a flash of lightning sprouted from the staff. Cloud tried dodging it, but he was just a second too late. He was thrown across the room by the electrical blow; the gash in his chest was deepened, spraying his blood across the room. As the charged blood left his body, Cloud felt something else leave, deep within his soul…It was...it was…

That instant, the ground started glowing, a peaceful blue, maybe periwinkle, although it was anything but. It turned so bright it practically blinded Cloud—it was even making Aerith's force field flicker.

The ground lit up the room, and now Cloud could see everything in perfect clarity. Those thirteen tablets were graves. But who would be buried in a castle, and why?

"Mwahahaha!" Sephiroth's voice filled the room, "I FEEL IT! I FEEL IT!"

"Feel what, pinhead?" Cloud snarled from the ground. It was getting harder to talk, and he struggled getting up.

"Why Cloud, don't you feel it too? Your lifeforce, contained in your blood, sparked by Aeirth's lightning attack, was spilled all over these graves, slowly fueling them."

"What? My _lifeforce_? Fueling what?" Cloud demanded an answer.

"Oh, such a pity you don't know your own powers, Cloud. Your powers of… cheese. You see, cheese is the fuel for the universe. It is the motive behind everything. I'll even tell you a secret – the only reason we have a moon that orbits over Earth is because it is made purely of cheese. Humans have magically attracted it to use as a weapon if we must. Everything is cheese, Cloud. But _you_ are a special cheese. More special than gouda. More special even than feta. But I will tell you no more. I guess you won't miss something you didn't even know you had."

Sephiroth turned to Aerith after surveying the room. "Thixera, I believe it is time."

Cloud whispered, barely audible before his form became lifeless, unconscious, "Aerith… wait for me." He collapsed, his face pale and shimmering with blood. It's too bad he missed Aerith's reply to Sephiroth.

"Yes. Welcome back, my brothers." She spread her arms out and tilted her head upward. "I am part of you, now – Organization XIII."


	3. Chapter 1: The Calling

**Organization Cheese**

_By: ilovefetacheese_and her sister, _ilovefetamorethanyou_ (not an ff username)

Author's Note: _Contrary to popular belief: the authors of this story are not Gossip Girl fanatics-yet..._

_Keep reading, please enjoy!_

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy or any of their affiliations.

_Chapter One: The Calling_

That night, Sora had troubling dreams. He awoke the next morning, unable to recall his nightmares, but with an ominous feeling and the taste of cheese in his mouth.

After he brushed his teeth he felt himself being pulled toward the beach. He couldn't explain it, but just knew he would find something important.

Waiting for him at the water's edge was a message in a bottle. The letter was sealed with a familiar wax shape, a head with two very large, round ears.

"The King!" he exclaimed, "He sent me a letter!" He immediately ran to find Riku and Kairi.

"Riku! Kairi! Look!" he exclaimed, holding up the folded piece of paper and gesturing wildly. "It's a message from the King!"

"What does it say?" Kairi exclaimed, "Hurry, open it!"

"Ahem," Sora cleared his throat, "To my dearest minions – ahem – friends," Sora read. He looked at Riku and Kairi. "Minions?" he questioned.

"Just keep reading," Riku suggested, "If there's one thing I learned when trapped in Kingdom Hearts with the King, it's that he likes to fantasize that he's an evil lord."

"Oh… anyways," Sora continued, "A most shocking event has occurred. Cloud, just when he attained the power of cheese, was taken hostage by Sephiroth, the leader of the newly revived Organization. They hope to harness the incredible magic contained within the Cheese that flows through Cloud's veins."

"THE POWER OF CHEESE?" Riku, Sora, and Kairi all yelped at once, looking at each other with fear in their eyes.

"Keep reading!" Riku urged Sora. He nodded, looking back to the letter he held in his hands.

"You must travel to Castle d'Italia at once," Sora continued, "In order to ensure your safe passage, I have enlisted the aid of someone you have met many times during your previous journeys. This alliance, however, may be unexpected to you three. I trust him greatly, though, and I am certain he will not betray you. Sometimes, my friends, you must have faith in darkness."

With that final comment, the King ended his letter with his name. "Yours truly, King Mickey III," Sora finished. He glanced at his companions.

"Have faith in darkness?" Kairi echoed, deep in thought.

"I wonder what he meant by that?" Riku commented.

"You have a wise king," a familiar voice said from behind them. They turned around.

"AXEL!" Sora exclaimed, "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"

"Um, hello Sora, didn't you read the letter from Mickey?" Riku asked.

"That's right! I'm back and better than ever, baby!" Axel exclaimed, spinning his flaming chakrams around.

"Whoa whoa whoa, Axel! Watch those weapons – I don't want my flawless hair to frizz…" Riku held his hands in front of him to gesture Axel away.

"Frizz? Frizz? I'LL SHOW YA FRIZZ!" Axel screamed, flames filling his aura.

"Sileeeeeence," a deep, thundering voice boomed through the island. Sora, Riku, and Axel jumped back. Axel's flames died away and eerie silence remained.

"What was _that_?" Sora exclaimed.

"That was me, silly!" Kairi giggled, "I want you all to stop fighting! I have something to say!" The silence continued, and Kairi took a long breath, all eyes on her.

"Well, first, Axel, what are you doing here? Tell me the truth."

"What else would I be here for? I'm going to help you guys fight back against the Organization. I am officially a retired member. Well, more like I… took a forced leave. ANYWAY, my hea– my motives are legitimate." Axel smiled, yet a slight, distant sadness crossed his face.

"Thank you. I believe Axel," Kairi told the group, "After all, think about King Mickey's note – have faith in the darkness. I believe in you, Axel!"

"YEAH! I TRUST YOU, AXEL!" Sora passionately yelled, wiping a tear from his eye.

"It's hard to trust someone from my dark past, but, hey, I've learned to be more open in my life. You've got my trust – for now," Riku promised.

"Aw, shucks, what an honor… -snort-" Axel said. "Well, allow me to explain what I'm here for, and our sole purpose for the next… a long time. Project Take Down the Organization XIII – a.k.a – Organization Cheese. See, it all started when – "

"Aww, but haven't you heard the latest news? Target's got a Gossip Girl clothing line now – it's brand new! I thought you'd be interested."

"WHAAA – WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME? LET'S GO! MAYBE THEY'LL HAVE THE CLOAK CHUCK WORE ON THE SEASON FINALE- SQUEAAALLLL!" With that, Axel slipped his elbow into Kairi's and they skipped off to Target—well, Axel skipped, leaving Kairi dragging behind.

Sora and Riku were still just standing there, stunned.

"Riku, did we miss something? What's Gos-sip Girrll?" Sora inquired.

"Don't ask, Sora. Just don't ask. I think it's better we don't know."

* * *

Three hours later, Axel and Kairi emerged from a portal to darkness laden down with shopping bags.

"Holy guacamole!" Riku exclaimed, "How much did you buy?"

"Oh, only several hundred dollars worth of Gossip Girl merchandise," Axel said casually, then attempted to flip his hair (he stopped when he realized that there was so much gel in it that it wouldn't move).

"Riku," Sora hissed in Riku's ear, "Does the Gossip Girl line include men's clothing?"

Riku just looked at Sora and shook his head solemnly. "I don't know, Sora. I don't know."

Riku and Sora glanced at Axel's bags and then at each other, their eyes wide.

'_Just what did he buy?_' They both thought.

"I don't think we want to know, Riku." Sora whispered gravely, "Let's just pretend this never happened."

* * *

Sora, Riku, and Kairi were now sitting on a bent palm tree overlooking the sea, eating feta cheese and bread. "Ah…this is the life. Nothing better than cheese and sea breeze…"

"Oh, Riku…please stop savoring over cheese. We need to get back to the storyline." Kairi said.

"Hmm…well to get back to the storyline, Axel needs to grace us with his lovely presence." Riku explained.

"Where _is _Axel, anyways?" Sora inquired.

All of a sudden, the three heard a figure running across the sand of the beach, towards them. Skipping, rather. The three of them turned their heads around at once; There seemed to be an aura behind them compelling their necks to turn. Lo and behold, there was Axel, happily gliding over the sand, doing sashes' and pieorouts towards Sora, Kairi, and Riku.

Axel waved, smiling gleefully. "Hey, guys! How do you like my new outfit?" As Axel drew closer, the three realized Axel was the source of that aura, and it now seemed as though sparkling, glittery waves were now secreting from his very pores.

"Um…you're wearing the same thing that you were…before?" Sora said curiously. Axel held up an index finger. "Ah HA. Don't just jump to conclusions, Sora…got it memorized?"

"Uh…-" In less than a second, Axel had unzipped his organization cloak to unveil his new outfit underneath. Axel was beaming, obviously proud of his wardrobe addition.

"It's my new superhero uniform for our journey! Ya like?"

"Uh…Axel…it looks exactly like your old coat…" Riku added hesitantly.

Axel was wearing another cloak underneath that went down to his upper shins, and its sleeves hung down to his wrists. There were some buttons and frills added here and there, but the overall design was basically the same as Axel's old organization uniform.

"Whaaat?" Axel was dumbfounded. "But…this one's dark navy! And…look at these!" He ruffled the frills protruding from his wrists and collar. "Teeheehee! Come on! This is the coat Blaire wore on episode thirteen, season two! You gotta love it!"

All was silent until Kairi broke in with a muffled, "And I thought _I_ was a crazy fangirl…"

Suddenly Sora jumped off the palm tree. "OHH-KAY!" Let's get back to the story line"

"Oh…I forgot about that thing…" Axel confessed, a cutesy innocence in his voice.

"Yeah, me too…" Riku added.

"Eh, gotta say it, me three…" Kairi admitted.

Suddenly Axel narrowed his eyes and his aura turned dark and deadly.

"Ready, boys?" He taunted. "I'm about to open a portal to your worst nightmare."

"READY!" Sora shouted, summoning his keyblade, the many diamonds of which were sparkling in the sunlight.

"Um, Sora…" Riku asked hesitantly, "since when has your keyblade been diamond-encrusted?"

"I had it done last week when I went to Target," Sora explained, then shrugged. "Into DARKNESS!" he yelled, raising his glistening keyblade towards the sky.

"Holy guacamole kid, you're blinding me!" Axel said, then straightened his posture. Suddenly his eyes glowed white, his irises disappearing. His arms fell to his sides. In a monotone, he started speaking: "Sector 7- 2 5 4 this is 8 do you read clear notice cheese access code 5 9 4 2 1 3 gigabyte hard drive network area 5 feta clear, 13? Swiss cheddar bleu gorgonzola brie internet connection established darkness transmitting now memory at 53% Summoning…insert data disk 3 sector clear portal to darkness opening 3…2…1…"

The four young'uns were engulfed in black flames and disappeared from the islands.


	4. Chapter 2: Darkness

**Organization Cheese**

Author's note: _Sorry we're so odd..._

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Starbucks, Gossip Girl, Twilight, or Scrabble...

_Please ENJOY!_

**_Chapter Two: Darkness_**

Fear. Flight. Fire.

The four remembered nothing of the fall except the pain of the dreaded landing. It wasn't that they were frightened of the Earth… rather, it was their luck they were questioning.

"Ow… ow… OWWW! AHHGGH! AH – " Riku shrieked in pain. "AXELLL! MOVE! YOUR HAIR IS BORING HOLES IN MY BACK! AHHRG! I FEEL THE BLOOD!! FIRE! SAVE ME EDWARD CULLEEEN!

"Geez, Riku, settle down… you're giving me a headache," Axel jumped up from where he was lying, causing Riku one more grimace of pain. "You're not being turned into a vampire… my fiery aura radiates through my whole body, especially out through my hair follicles. Sorry 'bout that. Got it memorized?"

Riku looked as though he had started tearing up. "Oh… okay… but do you have to use so much hair gel? I'm going to have scars on my precious back…"

"A pack a day, baby!" Axel claimed proudly.

"Wow, that's almost as much as I use!" Sora exclaimed.

"That's nothing to be proud of, Sora," Kairi said calmly.

"Just wait until I style your hair, Kairi!" Sora exclaimed. He looked at Axel. "Axel – you know what to do." Axel smiled evilly. They both pulled bottles of hair gel out from behind their backs.

***

Ten minutes later, Kairi had a bright pink mohawk.

"Oops," Axel said, "It looks like I brought only bottles of colored hair gel with me. Oh my," he added, turning over one of the bottles to inspect it closely, "It seems these belong to Marluxia. Whoops! Dear me!"

Across the back of each of the bottles brought by Axel was scribbled, in bright pink sharpie, Marluxia's organization number.

"Heehee," Axel giggled.

"So, how do you like your hair?" Sora asked Kairi. She pulled a compact mirror from her pocket.

"It's… interesting…" she commented.

Riku smacked his forehead. He could feel a headache coming on. "Guys, can we please go save Cloud now? He might be dying while you guys worry about your hair."

"Fine, fine, move aside. I'll lead the way," Axel said, pushing past Riku. "Oh, and by the way, you have split ends."

"WHAT?!?" Riku cried, grabbing a fistful of hair and inspecting it, "IT CAN'T BE!!!"

"Tsk, tsk… don't you know the 101's of hair care, Riku? Rinse, lather and repeat, everyday at approximately 7:31:02:02:07 AM. Got it memorized?"

"What? No, I don't 'got it memorized'! That totally cuts into tea-time with my grandma! I have to finish that quilt we were working on…" Riku looked at the ground solemnly.

"Uh… lame," Kairi said with disgust.

"Oh-kay then, if that's too hard for you, allow me TO TRIM THEM MYSELF!!!" Suddenly the sky turned black. Axel pulled out ten pairs of scissors, putting one on each finger. There seemed to be a red glow emanating from him, a sparkle in his fiery eyes, and a glimmer in his evil smile.

"WAHHH! STAY AWAY FROM ME! CREEP!" Riku shrieked, flailing his arms in the air. "MY SPLIT ENDS AND I ARE JUST FINE!!!"

"MWAHAHA! NOTHING CAN STOP ME NOW!" Axel exclaimed, and let out something that sounded like a war cry.

Riku started running furiously, as fast as his feet would carry him, Axel closely following with his large array of weaponry.

"Huh. So, Sora, you think we should follow them?" Kairi asked. The two onlookers had been left far behind in the dust.

"I guess we don't have much else to do, Kairi," Sora replied. They were standing in a valley of a mountain among many other mountains. The smell of homemade cheese hung in the air.

So the two set off running as well. Run run run run run spike hair run run run run STOP!

Panting and heaving, Sora and Kairi finally caught up to Axel and then Riku at an obstacle hindering further travel.

"DIDN'T YOUR MAMA EVER TEACH YOU NOT TO RUN WITH SCISSORS?!" Riku shouted. But Axel was not listening He was staring in amazement, disbelief, and happiness at the obstacle that was in their way – a large, ominous castle.

"Castle d'Italia," Axel whispered, looking up reverently, "How did we find it?"

"Aren't you supposed to be our guide, Axel?" Kairi asked.

"Yes… but… my guidance would lead you to Roxas… and _then_ the castle…" Axel looked around frantically. "He _must_ be here!"

"Who? Roxas? Axel, what's going on?" Sora questioned, looking around confusedly.

"Roxas… the other key! The gate to the mythical Castle d'Italia can only be opened when the two keys are in alignment! Its location can be revealed only in the presence of both keys!" Axel explained hurriedly.

"The other key?" Riku questioned.

"Yes, yes," Axel said impatiently, "Sora is one, and Roxas is the other! SHOW YOURSELF!" Axel yelled, summoning his flaming chakrams.

"Wait – if you need Sora to open the door, then how did Sephiroth get in?" Kairi asked.

"I did it. I let him in using the power of cheese," came a low, familiar voice from above them. Each traveler looked up. Perched atop the gate was a young man in a black coat, hood down, wild blonde hair rustled by the wind, staring down at the weary group with piercing golden eyes.

"Roxas," Axel hissed, assuming a fighting stance.

Roxas looked down and laughed.

His eyes, once blue, were now filled with evil.

Roxas swan-dived off the gate, two keyblades in hand.

"Roxas! WHY?" Axel screamed, ready to attack.

"Hmph. Because, Axel… I can. I'm alive – as much as I can be – but, mostly, it's all _your_ doing. You, my friend, are a traitor. And I will never forgive you."

Roxas swung one of his keyblades and dashed forward. But Axel was one step ahead. Their weapons clashed, fire exploding from Axel's side, darkness from the other's. As Roxas swung the keyblade from his other hand, Axel matched it with his second chakram.

The fight continued, raw power exuding from each of the boys' weapons as they dashed. Axel jumped high in the air, stretched his arms out and spun, faster and faster, creating a fire force field and tornado.

"Dance, flames!" he yelled. But Roxas was ready to counter.

"Ka may ha… MAY HA!" he shouted, forming an orb of darkness that engulfed Axel's flames. The two attacks then both disintegrated in midair.

Axel was crouched on the ground panting. "Roxas!" He sounded weak. "Look inside! This isn't you. I know you don't have a heart. Better than anyone. Neither do I… but I still feel something. And I know you can – do!" A tear was forming in his eye.

"Oh, please, Axel. Save your speeches for Sora – he's the good half of us." At that moment, Roxas held out one keyblade and spun around to hurl it at his face.

Axel gasped as Roxas spun. "THE LEFT SIDE OF YOUR HAIR IS HALF A MILLIMETER SHORTER THAN YOUR RIGHT!" Axel cried. Before the keyblade left his hand, Roxas was stopped by Axel, who had sprung forward, knocking him unconscious.

Sora, Riku, and Kairi had started playing Scrabble from the sidelines, but now they were staring intently at the fight in silence.

"Was that necessary?" Kairi asked, patting her mohawk.

"Of course," Axel knelt down next to Roxas, pulling out one of his pairs of scissors. "Even if he's been brainwashed into being evil, the least I could do is make sure he's got flawless hair… a strand of hair on the nape of his neck is longer than the other ones… hmmm…"

Sora, Riku, and Kairi's jaws now hung wide open.

"Wait a minute…" Axel said.

Something shone on the back of Roxas' neck

"What is this?" Axel snarled, adjusting Roxas's hair so he could see the nape of the boy's neck better. He bristled and held out a hand to stop Sora and the others from getting too close.

"Back away," he ordered fiercely, "Or you will be burned."

"What is that, Axel?" Riku asked, pointing to the strange, circular gadget with the golden-glowing center attached to the back of Roxas's neck.

"It is… a Device of EVIL," Axel declared, spinning his scissors around. Flame burst from the blades' tips.

"And that means?" Kairi inquired, hands on her hips, suspicious.

"It means our dear friend Roxy here has been brainwashed," Axel elaborated, "which would explain why we were engaged in an epic battle a minute ago, rather than hugging or chatting over Starbucks like old friends who haven't seen each other in a while."

"Starbucks? Where?!" Kairi exclaimed, looking around.

"Nowhere. And don't call me Roxy," a tired Roxas grumbled, fluttering his eyelashes, half regaining consciousness.

Axel whacked Roxas with the handle of his scissors. Roxas fell unconscious once more.

"Can you hear me, Sephy? Eat this!" Axel declared determinedly to the device before plunging his flaming scissors into its golden center. The glass cracked and the gadget fell off Roxas's neck, dead.

"Roxas… open your eyes!" Axel wailed dramatically, tears streaming down his tattooed cheeks.

Roxas didn't move.


	5. Chapter 3: Betrayal

**Organization Cheese**

_Author's note: Oh my! This episode the story and characters...........no comment. Please enjoy, and keep reading! We greatly appreciate everyone who has reviewed and subscribed!_

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Gossip Girl, Target, Disney, or any of their affiliations.

**Chapter Three: The Betrayal**

"Roxas!" Tears were streaming down Axel's cheeks freely now. "Roxasssss! Tomorrow is another day! SNIFF! We can spend it togetherrrrr! Wahhh!"

Still no movement from Roxas.

Axel lowered his head to the ground next to Roxas, sobbing hysterically. "Darn it, Roxas! I'm sorry, okay? I just wanted your hair to be… be… PERRRFEEECTTT! WAHHH!" Axel wailed, his voice muffled by the earth.

All of a sudden, Roxas sprung up from his resting position and pushed Axel. "WAHHRGHHHHHAGGAGAPARGH! I'VE COME BACK FROM THE DEAAADDD!!! MWAHA!"

Axel jumped up, horrified, and ran backwards a mile, screaming "EEEEEK!" the whole way.

Meanwhile, Roxas once again collapsed on the ground, this time laughing so hard he couldn't contain his tears, pounding the earth with his fists.

"You're – so – gullible, Axel!" he cried, gasping for breath. Once he had regained his composure, Roxas looked at him.

"Hey… where am I? How did I get here? The last thing I remember is French-braiding Axel's hair while watching Gossip Girl. After that…" Roxas squinted, thinking deeply, "I think I switched Axel's hair gel with Marluxia's as a prank, but then Marluxia caught me. The rest is hazy…"

Riku started cracking up. "Axel, with a French braid? Now I'd pay to see _that_."

"I look _fierce_," came Axel's confident, unembarrassed reply as he returned just in time to hear Roxas's speech, "And you, sir, were brainwashed."

"Brainwashed? By who?" Roxas asked, stunned, "and why is the left half of my hair half a millimeter shorter than my right? And is it just me, or am I missing one of my signature blonde spikes? Oh, and just so everyone knows, my hair is _naturally_ spiked, slightly messy, and perfectly sculpted."

Riku snorted, "Oh please. NO hair defies gravity naturally. And Axel, how did you know he was brainwashed before you saw the device?"

"Ahem. I, the all-knowing Axel, will explain everything," Axel declared, holding up a gloved hand. "First of all, does the name 'Lord Sephy' mean anything to you?"

"Lord Sephy?" Roxas questioned, putting a hand on his chin. Suddenly his now blue eyes took on a golden hue. "Lord Sephy!" he declared. Axel quickly whacked him with scissors again. Roxas's eyes turned back to blue.

"Ow!" he exclaimed, rubbing his head, "Why'd you do that?!?"

"I _thought_ it was strange when you never came back with the next Gossip Girl DVD," Axel mused.

"Wait a minute…" Roxas looked down, deep in thought. His head then shot back up, blue eyes wide. "AXEL!"

"WHAT?!" Axel screamed.

"MARLUXIA STILL HAS MY GOSSIP GIRL DVD! AHHH! I MEANT – UM – I HAVE AN INNIE BELLY BUTTON! GAH! ERR… I meant, you – no, I guess there's no way to hide our shameful addiction… AXELLL! WE HAVE TO GET THAT DVD BACK!!!" Roxas was shaking Axel by the shoulders now. "THERE'S SOME STUFF ON THERE HE CAN'T SEE OR ELSE HE'LL BE CONVERTED TO GG FANDOM FOR LIIIFE! DO YOU KNOW WHAT HE'LL DO?!? NEW OUTFITS FOR THE WHOLE ORGANIZATION!!!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Roxas, calm down! It's not so bad! Look at me – a complete member of the Gossip Girl fanclub." Axel did a little twirl so the ruffles on his coat would move with the wind. "I feel… SCANDALOUS!!!" Axel raised his arms in the air, feeling the scandalishiousness flowing through him.

"Axel." Roxas stood tall and pointed a gloved index finger to Axel. "You. Are. A. Traitor. Going to shop for Gossip Girl merchandise at Target without ME?!? YOUR PARTNER IN CRIME?! AND, EVEN WORSE, YOU WENT THIS… THIS…" he pointed to Kairi as she, Sora, and Riku casually glanced up from their intense game of Scrabble, "MOHAWK GIRL?!? HOW DARE YOU?! I'll never forgive you, Axel. You really are a traitor." Roxas spit and turned away, resting his keyblades on his shoulders, walking away.

"NOOOOOOO! Roxassssssss! You're walking…" Axel reached out.

"WHAT, dimwit? Away from _you_?"

"NOO! You're walking… THE WRONG WAY!" Axel ran to stop Roxas, but he was too late. Roxas had already collapsed, victim of Castle d'Italia's sliding glass door.

"Ow," Roxas complained again, rubbing his forehead.

"Silly Roxas," Axel chuckled.

"TRAITOR," Roxas shot back at him.

Axel held both hands in the air waving wildly, "I AM NOT a traitor! I WOULDN'T have gone Gossip Girl shopping with MOHAWK-GIRL over here-" he pointed at Kairi, "if SOMEBODY hadn't gotten himself brainwashed by Sephy."

Roxas had nothing to say to that.

"PLUS," Axel continued, "I was given the VERY IMPORTANT mission of guiding these young'uns by KING MICKEY. I can't help it if Target is along the way."

"I suppose you're right," Roxas mused, "If I hadn't played that prank then…" he sniffed, "we'd have been able to go to Target togetherrrrr," he wailed, tears falling from his eyes.

"WAAAAAH," the two wailed together, weeping profusely.

"ROXAS, YOU DUMMY, I MISSED YOU!!!"

"AXEL YOU GG FREAK I MISSED YOU TOOOO!"

Axel wrapped Roxas in a bear hug, the two of them continuing to bawl.

"Excuse me," Kairi looked up from the Scrabble game (it was Riku's turn), "I don't mean to interrupt, but, how do you two know each other again?"

Roxas blew his nose on Axel's shirt and looked at Kairi.

Wiping a tear from his eye, Axel exclaimed, "Why, Kairi, Roxy and I are – "

"BFFs 4-EVER!!!" the two declared simultaneously, both striking poses which involved holding their arms out, forming peace signs with their hands.

"Ooookay…" Riku said after he took his turn, unfazed at this point by Axel's bizarre mood swings.

Both Kairi and Riku turned to Sora to see if he had taken his turn yet. Instead , they found him sitting in a puddle of his own tears.

"THAT – WAS – SO – BEAUTIFUL!" he cried, in between sobs, "I – WISH – I – HAD – BEST – FRIENDS – LIKE – THAT – "

"Excuse me?" Riku and Kairi questioned indignantly together.

"Wahhhhhh! I thought I had best friends until one of them gave into the darkneeeesssss and I went to rescue himmm and herrrrr but one left me and then Miss Mohawk over here wouldn't jump twoooo feeeeet at the end of the video game AND THEEENNN – MR. SPLIT ENDS MADE MY JOURNEY IN CASTLE OBLIVION EEIGHTTT HOURS LONGER BECAUSE HE BEAT ME UP FOUR TIMES OVER FAKE MEMORIES ABOUT SOME GIRL IN A NIGHTGOWWNNNN. NOOOOOONE CAME SEARCHING FOR MEEE, I HAD TO GO SEARCHING FOR THHEEEM, EVEN AFTER EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT MY EXISTENCE ON EARTH FOR A WHOLE YEEEEEEARRRRRR --------"

Sora was interrupted by Riku. "Finish your turn already, you creep. I've got a great word ready…"

"SEEE?!"

"Aw, don't worry, Sora. Newfound powers have awakened within me since I've gotten this pink mohawk. I'll never leave you again! Here, you can blow your nose on my shirt!" Kairi tried comforting Sora.

"Gee, thanks, Kairi." Sora lowered himself to blow his nose.

"OWWWW! OH MY GORGONZOLA! MY EYE! KAIRI MOVE YOUR MOHAWK! GAHH! I'M SEEING PINK!!!"

Kairi gasped, "Oh no! I'm so sorry! Here! Wipe your eye on my shirt!" she tried to comfort him again.

"…sniff… oh--- okay… thanks…" Sora whimpered.

"WAHHHRGGGGG! OH MY BRIE-BLEU-FETA! MY OTHER EYE!"

"DON'T WORRY SORA!!! I'VE GOT EYE DROPS!!!" Axel ran to Sora while pulling out a Gossip Girl eyedrop bottle. He smiled. "This is Serena's from episode 9, season 2." Axel lowered Sora's head into his lap and put drops in his eyes.

"Now, now, all better," Axel crooned, giving Sora a kiss on the forehead. Why, look! Your friends have even taken your turn for you! They got you a super long word – whoa! Triple word score AND double letter score!"

"Sora sat up, wiping his eyes. The scrabble board was rearranged. "HEYY – NO CHEATING!" Sora exclaimed.

"Not so fast – look closer!" Riku replied. As Sora took a longer look at the game board, he realized the tiles had been formed into many words, a phrase – it read: SORA RIKU AND KAIRI BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.

"Awww… you guys!" Sora cried, tears welling up in his eyes again.

"Don't cry, Sora –" Kairi began, but was interrupted by Riku.

"Don't cry, or we'll be here another five hours." Sora started to look sad again. "Uh, but, yeah, we love you, so don't cry!" Riku said nervously, not wanting Sora to accuse him of being a bad best friend and start bawling again.

"Here's a gossip girl tissue," Axel said matter-of-factly, handing Sora a tissue (strawberry scented, of course).

"So where were we before your little reunion?" Riku asked.

"I was revealing the meaning of life," Axel stated.

Riku, Roxas, Sora, and Kairi just stared at him blankly.

"Ok, so I was answering everyone's burning questions. First off, Roxas, the left side of your hair is half a millimeter shorter than your right because you were brainwashed by Sephiroth," Axel elaborated.

"That doesn't explain anything," Kairi commented.

"When Sephy shifted the balance of evil in your heart, the changes were manifested in your hair. Usually, when Roxy's heart is in balance, his hair is perfect. I _am_ his beautician after all. Oh, and yes, you are missing the fourth spike from the right," Axel revealed.

"This one?" Roxas asked, pointing.

"Other right."

"Here?"

"My right."

"Your right?"

"Your right."

"My right?!?"

"No, my right."

"Here?!?"

"No, there."

"OMG," Kairi exclaimed, "Who the-"

"Watch your language, young lady!" Sora scolded.

"CAN WE PLEASE JUST MOVE ON?!?" Riku yelled, exasperated.

"Oh. Why yes, certainly," Axel agreed calmly. "So, judging by Roxas's hair, golden eyes (which are usually a stunning shade of blue which matches his underwear), and dark aura in general, not to mention the fact that he attacked me, Axel, his BFFL, I calmly and logically determined that he was brainwashed, deciding to knock him out in an attempt to reset the light-to-dark ratio within his heart."

"Oh," Sora said, not sure he comprehended all of that, but quite sure he wanted to continue the journey into Castle d'Italia, from which the lovely scent of homemade feta cheese was wafting.


	6. Chapter 4: THE TRUTH

**NOTE: For some reason, this chapter was missing! WHY ? If that happens again, please let us know!**

**Organization Cheese**

_A/N_: Hello everybody! First off, _ilovefetacheese_ and I would like to thank all of you for reading and reviewing! It really makes our day! We are inspired to write when we know people are enjoying our work :) On that note, please enjoy the latest chapter of _Organization Cheese_!

_Disclaimer_: We do not own KH, Covergirl, Gossip Girl, Uggs, Monopoly, or Sudoku.

**CHAPTER FOUR**_**: THE TRUTH**_

"So, now we must enter Castle d'Italia," Axel said, "In order for the gates to open, the two keys must align."

"Oh, you said that before," Kairi said, finally understanding the situation.

"So Sephiroth's in there? And he's got Cloud?" Riku questioned worriedly.

"Affirmative," Axel confirmed, nodding.

"And you know this how?" Riku asked.

"The King gave me a full mission briefing," Axel answered, whipping out a thick manuscript from inside his coat. "It's all here. He even gave me recipes for brie and Swiss, as well as full descriptions of all the enemies we may meet."

"But that still doesn't explain how Sephy got in," Kairi pointed out, referring to the question she had asked Axel before his epic battle with Roxas.

"OH NO," Roxas exclaimed, his eyes widening, "AXEL! I let him in! I remember! I DID IT!" He fell to the ground, clutching his head and whimpering.

"It's okay, Roxas. I won't get mad at you – just tell us what happened." Axel knelt down and patted Roxas's back.

"Well… I was roaming the spirit world, since I was dead… kind of? Anyways, I felt a strong power of heart calling me to a certain Promised Land, so I followed it. When I arrived, awaiting me was a young woman named Aerith. She told me, 'I have foreseen my true love's future. You are a vital part of it. He will be killed on Earth any minute by his worst enemy. But you, with the keyblade, have the ability to unlock his heart, which possesses the Cheese of Youth, awakening his true powers within, allowing him a second chance on Earth. Please – I beg of you!' I couldn't say no to that, the kind fella that I am. So, what she said came true, and this big cool blonde dude appeared. She explained the situation to him as well, but when I went to unlock his heart, he insisted on taking Aerith with him! So I didn't know what else to do, because I had to rush to catch the latest episode of Gossip Girl… I couldn't tell them that though, so I had to make up some cliché excuse to hurry up…"

"Oh. Wow. Cloud is a cool big dude, isn't he?" Sora remarked, nodding. He had caught that part of Roxas's explanation, at least. "You know, when I met him, he gave me some great hair pointers – "

"What happened next, Roxas?" Kairi briskly interrupted, not willing to discuss spiky hair (and Cloud's style was _particularly_ infamous).

"Well, it turned out that Aeirith's heart was the Promised Land's keyhole… I sealed the world to prevent Sephiroth's darkness from having a greater influence and corrupting the Spirit World. We wouldn't want heartless zombies, now would we?" Roxas questioned.

His audience all shook their heads in a definite NO.

"So how did you end up helping Sephiroth?" Riku asked curiously.

"Well, after sealing the keyhole, I fell unconscious due to the power it took to unlock two extremely powerful hearts at once. When I woke up, I found this dummy leaning over me, crying like a baby." Roxas pointed at Axel.

"Just like he was a moment ago?" Sora asked.

"Exactly," Roxas confirmed with a nod, "Anyways, it turned out I'd been resurrected, along with the other members of the organization. Sephiroth had taken the place of Xemnas as our leader – I knew something was wrong when I saw how Xemy's eyes glowed. I guess he must have been under Sephy's control," Roxas thought aloud, "Anyways, Axel and I spent the next six months going on missions, eating ice cream, drinking Starbucks, doing each other's hair, watching Gossip Girl, just like the good old days, except – "

"Wait a minute. SIX MONTHS? Are you telling me that Cloud's been imprisoned for SIX MONTHS?" Kairi exclaimed, quite obviously worried that their journey may have been in vain.

Axel and Roxas looked at each other, then nodded and said simultaneously, "Yeah."

"Why did it take so long for you to come find us? Cloud could be dead!" Riku accused.

"No, I'm sure he's just chillin'" Axel said, and shrugged, "But the longer we wait, the more powerful Sephiroth becomes."

"So why did you and the King wait so long to contact us?" Sora inquired.

"The King was too cheap to pay for first class interstellar postage," Axel explained, shrugging again.

Riku, Kairi, and Sora looked at each other. "But it was a MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE," they all yelled together.

"And how do you think it got there? Just let Roxas finish his story, please." Axel sighed and continued to file his nails.

"Anyways, as I was saying, during our six-month return to normalcy, Axel and I were contacted by the King and made plans to betray the Organization and free Cloud in order to prevent Sephy from using the Power of Cheese for evil. But, the day before Axel and I were going to quit, Maruluxia turned me into one of Lord Sephy's minions. Anyways," Roxas continued, "As I said before, the rest is hazy. But I do remember letting Sephy into Castle d'Italia two weeks ago, before which we had all been living in the Castle that Never Was."

"HOW?" Kairi demanded, fed up with Roxas's ridiculous story.

"Sephy brought Cloud's unconscious body to these coordinates and dripped three drops of Cloud's blood onto my keyblade. The Cheese of Youth contained within Cloud's life force gave me the power of _two_ keyblade masters and thus I was able to access and unlock the door to Castle d'Italia. Lord Sephy and his minions are currently locked inside, plotting evil and destruction," Roxas finished finally.

"Wow," Sora, Riku, Kairi, and Axel said in unison. "Gee, good thing Mickey accessed my cerebral cortex and implanted messages in my mind to break out of the castle right away," Axel commented, "or I would've been brainwashed too – and _then_ where would we be?"

"Noooowhere, Axel, you're such a greaaat guide…" Kairi added sarcastically.

"Wait a minute… Axel, you said you took a forced leave from the Organization… if you just snuck out, how is that so? Hmm?" Riku inquired with a non-convincing face.

"Well, y'see, I had to get back at Sephy for being the only possible dude with cooler hair than me – he doesn't even use any gel! Anyways, let's just say… I gave him a new 'do while he was sleeping… but unfortunately, I was FOUND OUT! By someone jealous of the beastly awesomeness called hair that I possess. Hmmph. That's just too bad. It worked out anyway, though – I didn't have to quit! I was shunned by Sephy, therefore ordered never to be in the presence of another organization member again… ah, what a pleasure. I'll just miss the 60" HDTV they had… sniff…"

"So that was when you came to fetch us on the islands, right?" Sora asked.

"Yup! You guessed it! Then – once I got my new outfit, of course – we journeyed off to NEW LANDS!" Axel exclaimed, fist in the air.

"Yipideedoodah!" Sora chimed in happily.

Axel eyed Sora. "So, uh, yeah, now that – "

"Yipideedoodah!" Sora chimed in again.

"SORA, shut your cheese hole! You're being annoying!" Riku yelled.

"As I was saying, since we're all – "

"YIPIDEEDOODAH YIPIDEEDOODAH YIPIDEEDOODAH!"

"Kid, are you okay?" asked Axel, sincerely worried now.

"YIPIDEEDOODAH!" Sora answered.

Axel looked at the rest of the group and mouthed, 'What do we do?' They stared blankly back at him.

"Uh… Sora…" Kairi started.

"YIPIDEEDOOOOODAHHHHHH" Sora screamed, waving his hands in the air. Then he fell over, laughing.

"Teeheeheeheehee! Yipideedoodah! What a funny word! Heehee heehee!" Sora was crying, rolling around in the grass now.

"Ha… ooooohkaaaayyy…" Axel seemed a little thoroughly creeped out now.

"YEAH! YOU'RE RIGHT! YIPIDEEDOODAH!" Roxas sprang up, now yelling triumphantly.

"NOOO, NOT YOU TOO, ROXASSSSS!" Axel wailed, throwing himself on the ground.

This journey sure is going to be long…


	7. Chapter 5: Snack Time!

**Organization Cheese**

Author's note: _FYI: Feta cheese is not aged for 50 years...rather, it is stored in salt to preserve its deliciousness. The scenario in this chapter is for...**very**...dramatic purposes only. We do not endorse intoxication..._

_Please keep reading and reviewing! We appreciate it so much. =]_

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Gossip Girl, Scrabble, the Academy Awards, or any of their affiliations.

**Chapter Five: Snack time!**

-

"Stand back, everyone," Axel warned the travelers. "Now Sora, point your keyblade toward Roxas, and Roxas point your keyblade toward Sora—face each other."

Roxas and Sora did as they were told.

"Like this?" Sora asked Axel, pointing his keyblade toward Roxas.

"Exactly," Axel confirmed, nodding.

"But nothing's happening," Riku commented.

"Axel, my arm is getting tired," Sora whined.

"Hmm," Axel mused, whipping out his Mission Briefing manuscript and placing a pair of red reading glasses on the bridge of his nose. "Let's see here…align the keyblades, yadda yadda…AHA!" he yelled, snapping the book shut, "Sora, you have to—"

Sora yawned, then yelped. All of a sudden, a mysterious light began to emanate from the small space between his and Roxas's keyblades. Bubbles of light began to float away. Riku, Kairi, and Axel chased after them, popping them with glee.

"You guys, I don't think you should—" Roxas began to warn, but at that very moment, the doors to Castle d'Italia creaked open.

_grumble grumble grumble_

"Wow, those doors are loud," Kairi commented.

"Actually, that was my stomach," Sora admitted sheepishly, "I don't think we've eaten anything since we started on this journey a few hours ago"

"Wow…it feels like it's been YEARS." Riku said, annoyed.

"Okay guys, we can't save the world on an empty stomach." Axel decided. The rest of the group nodded in agreement. Axel then reached into his coat, and in a flash he pulled out a large cube of feta cheese and a loaf of bread.

Sora dropped his keyblade, breaking the connection with Roxas, and ran towards the snack, flailing his arms in the air.

"WOOOOOOAHHHHH!!! HOW'D YOU DO THAT?!? IT'S MAGIC!!!!!!!!!"

"Did I forget to mention that my coat came with a built-in cooler? Oops…teehee!" Axel giggled.

"SO, you guys, we'll eat our snack and then finally set off on our mission, _right_?" Kairi commented in a demanding tone.

"YES MA'AM!" All of the men of the party yelled, saluting Kairi.

A half hour later, the adventurers were…satiated. Sora was lying on the ground alongside Riku, rubbing his belly. "Ah…that was some gnarly cheese and bread. Eh, Riku?" Sora turned his head to face Riku.

"Yeah, man…gnarly. Ah, I can just feel the sea breeze like back home…Ahhhh. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh…."

"You said it, Riku…yum-yum-yummmmmyyyyy!" Kairi exclaimed.

"OMIGOD AXELWHATISTHISTUFFIT'SDELICIOUSSSSSSS!" Roxas was amazed by the simple dairy and grain products in his hands.

"Um, Roxas, it's just cheese and bread…" Axel replied.

"CHEESEANDBREAD?! NEVER HEARD OF IT! **GENIUS!!!**"

Kairi whispered to Axel, "**Psst**…Is it possible to get drunk off of cheese?" Axel was dumbfounded.

"Uh…I never thought so before, but apparently Roxas has managed intoxication by cheese."

Roxas started running around, then ran to the top of a nearby hill. "NAMINÉ, I LOVE YOOOOOUUUU!!!" Tears were streaming down his face.

"Hm. Interesting. Maybe it's possibly because the cheese has been aging for 50 years, and the bread for 25? Perhaps somehow there was an ingredient that fermented? AHA! I've got it! The yeast from the bread mixed with the sodium chloride in the feta, therefore causing the isotopes to become inversely charged and therefore the Bunsen burner in my jacket as well DISRUPTED THE HYDROGEN BONDS AND INCREASED THE SURFACE AREA OF THE CHEESE, CREATING AN ALCOHOLC DISTURBANCE, MWAHAHA! BY GOLLY I HAVE FOUND THE ANSWER!!!" Axel was now throwing his arms in the air, screaming, and evil glint in his eyes.

"WHAAT?! 50 YEARS OLD?! HOW DOES IT TASTE SO GOOD?!" Kairi, Riku, and Sora all exclaimed at the same time.

All of a sudden, Kairi felt something escape from within her…

"Roxas, I LOVE YOU TOO!!!" A blonde girl emerged from Kairi.

Uh…who are you?" Roxas asked, teetering towards her.

"But—but you just said you loved me!" Naminé, the blonde girl, cried out, reaching for Roxas.

Roxas giggled and evaded her grasp. "Yup! And I love Sora, Riku, Kairi, Axel, Hayner, Pence, Omelet—err, Olette, Larxene, Vexen, Xaldin, Lexaeus, Saïx, Zexion, Luxord, Marluxia, Demyx, Xigbar, Xemnas, King Mickey, Donald, Goofy…and…and Blair, Serena, and all the Gossip Girl characters! I love you all! Thank you so much for your support! Without you guys, and all my loving fans, that Academy Award would never have been possible! Thank you, I love you all SO MUCH!!!" With that final comment, Roxas collapsed and passed out cold.

"Um…what just happened?!" Kairi asked, startled. She stared at the blonde girl in front of her. "Who are you and why were you possessing me?!?"

"Naminé! Long time no see!" Axel said, outstretching his arms, running towards her for a hug. Naminé, however, ignored Axel, running past him with tears streaming down her cheeks and shrieking, "Roxas!!! DON'T DIE!!! ROXAS OPEN YOUR EYES!"

"Ouch…" Axel commented, a bit miffed that Naminé just brushed past him: Suddenly his hair started flaming at the tips and he screeched, "DON'T TOUCH ROXAS!" He held a chakram to Naminé's neck before she had a chance to put a hand on Roxas' chest. She looked up at him fearfully from her position kneeling by Roxas' side.

"Axel! Stop that!" Kairi ordered.

"QUIET." Axel hissed. Kairi, Riku, Sora stopped dead in their tracks, a few feet from the spectacle.

"Axel! I'm just concerned!' Naminé squealed.

"Oh really, darling?" Axel snarled. "Good thing Roxas sealed the Spirit World when he did. Looks like Sephy's reached even _that _distant place…"

"What's going on, Axel? She's just worried about Roxas!" Riku exclaimed.

"Axel! Calm down! I'm your…friend, remember?" Naminé looked up at Axel. Suddenly, her golden eyes glinted. "I never knew you were such a jealous person, Axel. Tch. You're not fit to be the guide for these children." She smirked at him evilly.

"Naminé has never smirked evilly in her entire non-life!" Axel declared, finally whacking her over the head with his chakram.

"Axel! Why did you hit a poor defenseless girl?!?" Riku exclaimed, and ran with his friends toward the unconscious duo. He scooped Naminé up in his arms while Kairi checked her pulse.

"Fool," Axel snorted, brushing Naminé's hair aside. "Take a look." Underneath her long blonde hair, on the back of her neck was a golden-glowing gadget.

Riku stood back up and put his hands on his hips.

"Pshhh. I knew it from the beginning. I was just playing along," Riku triumphantly remarked.

"Suuure, and I have a bright pink Mohawk…" Kairi replied sarcastically.

"Um, Kairi, you _do_…" Sora scratched his forehead, puzzled. Kairi's hand shot up in front of his face. "NOT relevant…"

While the trio was bickering, Axel magically pulled out another pair of scissors, twirled them about 100 times per second for 5 seconds (he had to get warmed up), then finished the trick by stabbing the evil little device in its center. It shuddered, then its glow dimmed slowly until turning to black and falling into the dirt below.

Ten minutes passed, and neither Roxas nor Naminé had come to. Axel was a nervous wreck, pacing back and forth. He had checked their pulses, and the two had been normal… He had considered giving Roxas CPR but figured it would appear a bit creepy to the others, and Roxas appeared to be breathing. Sora, Riku, and Kairi had started up their Scrabble game once again. They had quite gotten used to the ups and downs and oddities of the voyage.

After an eternity of five minutes, Roxas's long, luscious, Covergirl eyelashes finally fluttered, and his deep blue eyes reopened. Axel instantly made a ninja-esque back flip/leap over there, and swept Roxas up in a hug.

"Roxy! I was so worried! Thank gorgonzola you're alright!!!"

"Ugh…" Roxas put a hand to his head. "My head aches quite terribly," he put his other hand to his stomach. "Oh, and my tum-tum feels just awful! Why, Axel, cutie, do you by chance know what happened to me?" Roxas asked, a cutesy innocence in his voice.

Axel was just a _little_ creeped out. "Uh…you ate ages-old cheese and…were turned delusional? Hopefully?"

"Oh me, oh my! Oh dearie!" Roxas put his hands to his cheeks and gasped. He then looked at the sky, and shielded his eyes from the sun. "Ah! What a bright floating object above! I fear I may need a sun bonnet!"

A muffled "—I think you still are—" came from a figure approaching from behind Axel. Riku stepped up, a wooden sword held in his hand. He raised it above Roxas's head…

"Oh my chicken cheese dumpling!" Roxas exclaimed, shocked.

Riku knocked Roxas unconscious again.

"That should do it…I think his secret desire for being an Elizabethan baroness came out all of a sudden…"

"Hey! How do _you_ know that and not me?!" Axel demanded.

"…" Riku was silent, then grunted, "Don't ask."


	8. Chapter 6: The Gate Opens Finally!

**Organization Cheese**

_Author's Note__: Hello everybody! This is ilovefetamorethanyou speaking! Ilovefetacheese and I were lazy and took forever to update, even though we're writing several chapters ahead of this point. It's just such a pain to sit down and type it all. *sigh* We sort of had a spot of writer's block for a little while, but now we are REINSPIRED and ready to continue. WOOHOOO!_

_Well, thank you to all of our loyal readers and those of you who have reviewed so far! You have no idea how happy that makes us! Seriously, ilovefetacheese and I do a little disco dance every time we see that one more person has reviewed or read our chapters. We seriously appreciate you guys. Especially if you made it far enough into the story to read this latest chapter. Wow._

_Anyways, enough of my ranting! Enjoy this latest chapter (I know I did!)!_

_Disclaimer: _We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Scrabble, WD-40, or PAM cooking spray. What? Gossip Girl isn't mentioned in this chapter? Oh, wait, it is. Phooey. We do not own Gossip Girl either. Bah.

**Chapter Six: The Gate Opens (Finally)**

Axel had reluctantly given in and joined the islanders' game of Scrabble while waiting once again for Roxas and Naminé to awaken. An hour had passed.

"Ughhh…are they awake yet?" Axel croaked.

"No, not yet." Kairi replied sweetly.

"Now?"

"No, Axel."

"What about now?"

"What do you think?"

"Yes!"

"NO."

"Are they awake now?"

"No." KAiri, Riku, and Sora relied in unison.

"Wahhh…how can you guys stand for this? I need ADVENTURE!" Axel shouted triumphantly.

"I've had enough adventure to least me more than one lifetime…more like five…" Sora commented.

"Me too…" Riku added.

"Me three." Kairi said.

"UUUGHHHHH. COME OOON!" Axel screamed.

"Axel, take your turn, please." KAiri stated.

Axel added two letters to the board, making the word 'cat'.

"Are they awake yet?" he demanded.

"NO AXEL. IF THEY WERE AWAKE, WE WOULD SEE THEM. WHY DON'T YOU SIT FACING THEM?" Kairi yelled.

"…because I can't bear to see Roxas's unconscious body!" Axel blushed.

"By the way, could you be a bit more creative next turn? You're leaving me no letters to work with," Riku stated, very bored.

"Not until you guys tell me they're awake!" Axel exclaimed.

"THAT'S NOT SOMETHING WE HAVE CONTROL OVER, OH IMPATIENT ONE!" Sora was furious—Axel had ruined his word plan by taking up the space under the 'C'.

"They're awake…" Kairi said.

"Pshh, I don't believe you!" Axel replied.

"No, really."

"STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!" Two figures loomed behind Axel. Creeping up they held their index fingers to their lips to signal the Scrabble gang to keep quiet.

"BOO!" Naminé and Roxas jumped on Axel, knocking him over, laughing so hard at Axel's stunned face there were tears sprouting from their eyes.

* * *

"So, guys…I'm guessing the doors are stuck, since they won't move another inch, and you've tried every single possible method of opening them," Axel explained. The group stood before Castle d'Italia's large, ominous doors.

"What should we DO?" Namine exclaimed, worried.

She had joined in the adventure now, as it turned out she was revived as well along with the Organization, and had been controlled by Sephiroth to merge with Kairi and betray the adventurers.

"I know! We just have to oil the hinges!" Sora beamed with pride at his resolution. "Axel, you got any WD-40 in your coat?"

"No! I don't! But…wait a minute…"" Axel was rummaging through his many inside coat pockets.

"Why don't we just spit on it?" Sora asked.

"Ew. No." Naminé commented.

"AHA! HOLY GOUDA, THANK GORGONZOLA!" Axel triumphantly pulled out a can of cooking spray.

"PAM'll do anything!"

So, Axel heavily coated the hinges with PAM spray, but, oh, what woe, they still would not budge.

"Oaky, Sora, maybe we should try spitting," Axel said meekly.

"Oh you silly geese!" Roxas chimed in. "The door's got a keyhole!" Everyone found in amazement and dumbfoundedness that what Roxas said was actually true.

"I'll unlock it!" Roxy whipped out his keyblade.

"No, I will!" Sora challenged his other half.

"Grrr…."

"Just open the—" Riku started.

"*beep*" Sora said over Riku,

"-door!" Riku finished. He and everyone else stared at Sora.

"What? No swearing!" he shrugged, "My mommy told me that was a bad word!"

Riku proceeded to unleash a whole series of words that were *beep*-ed out by Sora. In the meantime, while Sora was censoring Riku's dirty mouth, Roxas stuck his keyblade into the keyhole and began to turn it.

It wouldn't budge.

"Grrr," Roxas grumbled.

"Need some help, babe?" Axel said smoothly, trying to act cool, again attempting to flip his hair and failing, due to gel overuse.

"No." Roxas said defiantly, still struggling with the keyblade.

"Please?" Axel begged.

"*beep* they heard in the background.

"No."

"*beep*"

"Why not?"

"*beep*"

"OK fine!:" Roxas's patience was wearing thin.

"*beep*beep*beep**beep**beep*!" Sora exclaimed loudly.

"SORA!" Axel and Roxas both snapped, "BE QUIET!"

Sora looked over at them and gasped, "Hey! I was supposed to unlock the door!" He ran towards the struggling duo.

"Everybody, in the name of gorgonzola, help out!" Axel yelled, straining to help Roxas turn the key in the lock, "Heave! Ho! Heave! Ho!" With all six adventurers' strength combined, the key finally turned in the lock.

They all collapsed onto the ground, huffing and puffing.

"The door….to Castle d'Italia!" Axel whispered in wonderment.

Rikuy looked up in awe. "Holy—"

"*beep*" Sora chimed automatically.

They all stared, flabbergasted, at the large gates which were now opening before their very eyes.

"OH MY CREATOR OF CRANBERRY SWISS! WE'VE FINALLY MADE IT!" Axel threw his hands up in the air and screamed.

"Phew, thank goodness. I thought we'd go off on another 2-hour tangent." Kairi breathed a sigh of relief.

The rest of the group also expressed their congratulations.

"AWESOME!"

"YIPIDEEDOODAH!"

"Cool."

"Well, it's about—"

"*beep beep beep*

"—time…"

"Okay, guys! Let's get this show on the road!" Roxas exclaimed as he pried his keyblade out from the large door.

The six journeyers entered the darkness of Castle D'Italia. Scared, uncertain, and maybe a bit hungry, they had no idea what would become of them…

* * *

"Why's it so dark in here? Don't these guys need light?" Sora was having trouble differentiating the ceiling from the floor, due to the extreme lack of light (but maybe that's just Sora).

"Sephiroth likes to pretend he's a vampire, especially since he's in this freakishly old castle."

"Ah, of course. Why didn't I already know that?" Riku was starting to get quite agitated.

"*beep*"

"Sora, STOP THAT! I DIDN'T EVEN SWEAR!"

"But it sounded like you were about to…" Sora pouted sweetly.

"STOP! I'm gonna punch your face in!"

"But… we're BFFs 4-EVER!" Sora had to defend himself. Just as Riku's fist was nearing Sora's face, light suddenly filled the room

"AHH! TOO BRIGHT!" Riku cowered in fear. At the top of the wide marble staircase stood a figure in an organization cloak, slowly lowering his hood.

"Demyx!" Roxas shouted, "Don't do this! I don't want to hurt you!"

"Hmph. Too late," he snapped. Pillars of water shot up on either side of him; he then pointed at the group. "Bwahaha. Payback time: Let's dance, baby!"

Axel's exclamation as he evaded Demyx's vicious water attack was drowned out by a large *beep* on Sora's part. He swung his chakrams, sending them flying at Demyx.

"Demyx! What is the meaning of this?" Axel exclaimed, confused as to why one of his drinking –er, scrabble – buddies was trying to re-kill him.

"You traitor! And you too, Roxas!" Demyx exclaimed, "I'll never forgive you!"

Roxas scowled as he slashed through dancing water with his keyblade. "What did we do?" he asked, striking down attack after attack.

Axel noticed that he and Roxas were the only one's targeted. "If this is about that one time I lost your Gossip Girl DVD –" he began frantically.

"NO!" Demyx cried, and all of a sudden the attacks stopped. He ran towards Axel, tears streaming from his icy eyes, "I THOUGHT WE WERE BFFLs, AXEL!" he screamed, "But then HE came along – " Demyx pointed towards Roxas, "WITH HIS GOSSIP GIRL DVD COLLECTION, AND SUDDENLY YOU TWO ARE ALL BUDDY-BUDDY, acting like BFFLs, watching Gossip Girl WITHOUT ME, DOING EACH OTHER'S HAIR and having FUN! Meanwhile, I was all alone in my room, WEEPING. If it weren't for Naminé I think I'd have gone crazy – " he stopped and looked up. "NAMINÉ!" he cried, rushing towards her, scooping her up in a big bear hug.

"DEMYX!" she shrieked, "OMG I MISSED YOU!"

"Are we missing something here?" Kairi asked, staring at her other half embracing the person she thought was their enemy.

"No – "

"*beep*"

" –, Kairi," Riku commented meanly, "I think we've missed a lifetime of information."


	9. Chapter 7: SCANDALICIOUS

**Organization Cheese**

**Author's Note**: Hello loyal readers! Yes, I am speaking to all six of you! WOOOT! This is ilovefetamorethanyou again. I've discovered that I have a passion for writing author's notes, so I've stolen that privilege from my sister. WAHAHAHAHA. SO I have a confession to make. ORGANIZATION CHEEEESE... MAKES ME LAUGH! And I'm not afraid to admit it to the world. And yes, it was incredibly obnoxious for me to tell you that I laugh at my own fanfiction. But you know what? I just can't help it. So there. I said it. Ummm sooo... THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FARRR! PLEASE CONTINUE! And tell all your friends, ok? Yup. We're that desperate. Whatever. This fic will keep coming out even if our reader count drops to zero... we just thoroughly enjoy writing it. So, without further ado, let the FANFICTION BEGIN!

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Gossip Girl, Project Runway or its contestants, The Labyrinth, David Bowie, his music, or...the Backstreet Boys. =] We DO NOT own the lyrics to "Magic Dance," a portion of which is included in the fanfiction below. WE DID NOT WRITE THOSE LYRICS! Ok?

**Chapter 7: Scandalicious**

"Axel? Roxas? Do you know what's going on?" Sora looked at them curiously.

"Nope," the duo said simultaneously, gaping at the still-hugging pair.

"So… uh… what exactly happened between you guys while Roxy and I were watching Gossip Girl?" Axel was quite frustrated that there was actually something he didn't know…

"What do _you_ think, Axel?" Naminé had a naughty smile on her face.

"Uh…played checkers? I hope…"

"Whaat? What do you think we are? Nerds?" Demyx was flabbergasted at Axel's insane assumption.

"No, silly!" Naminé pated Demyx's chest as she snuggled close to him. "I taught Demyx how to knit and crochet, and we watched Project Runway at the same time! We had a great time—next session I promised we would do embroidery while we re-watched Season 4—Christian's my favorite!"

Axel had the most gruesome look on his face as he fell unconscious from the shock of what had just been spoken.

"NO! Axel!" Roxas leaped from where he was standing and swooped down to catch Axel in time. He glared at Demyx, his look saying "How. Dare. You."

"Phweeee! No way! Naminé, will you teach me how to knit, too? It'll be a great addition to the quilt my granny and I are making!" Riku squealed with excitement.

"No way! Naminé is MY tutor!" Demyx stood in front of her, holding his arm out defensively.

"Aww… but lessons at arts and crafts stores are so expensive."

"Too bad. Look, Naminé made me this!" Demyx pulled his coat apart and threw it off, revealing a white tank top and his underwear. It was embroidered with bubbles. Demyx turned around in a disco-like move and wiggled his derriere. Naminé turned beet red. On the back of the boxers read 'I love Naminé' in blue letters.

"And look!" Demyx reached to his neck where a chain of a star with a face on it hung from a straight line of crocheted yarn. "Naminé made me this good luck charm! HA! NOT YOU, AXEL!"

"WHAAT! NUH-UH, DUDE! NAMINÉ MADE THAT CHARM FOR ME!" Sora yelled.

"Sora! What are you talking about?" Kairi was furious that Sora had accepted a good luck charm from someone other than her.

"WHAAAAAAAAT! I WON'T STAND FOR THIS! NAMINÉ MADE THAT CHARM FOR ME, and ONLY ME!" Riku started screaming as well.

"What? Riku? You too?" Kairi exclaimed.

All three of the boys displayed identical charms and started to argue, pulling out their weapons and assuming fighting stances.

"Die – " Riku's second word was transformed into a *beep* by Sora.

"RAWR!" Sora yelled, unleashing a fierce horizontal slash that was meant to strike both Demyx and Riku. The pair, however, jumped over the slashing keyblade, somersaulting in the air simultaneously, and inflicted instant K.O. on Sora using a dual attack formation. The two instantly rebounded; their one-time partnership had ended. Once landing over Sora's incapacitated body, Demyx and Riku back flipped away from each other instantaneously so they were several yards apart, face-to-face.

Demyx let out a wild chord from his instrument of death, howling along with it. Riku covered his ears, dropping the Way to Dawn and kneeling in pain.

"Ha ha ha!" Demyx laughed in time with the pounding beat emanating from his deadly, poisonous sitar.

Riku didn't know what to do, as he was defenseless against sound waves.

" -!" Sora gained consciousness for an instant, only to censor Riku's naughty language.

"*beep*!"

"You think it's okay that you mess with MY GIRL? As if she had a HEART! I'LL KILL YOU!" Demyx screamed, tears welling in his eyes.

As Demyx was about to pluck a string of doom on his instrument, Naminé ran forward and shouted, "NOOOO! STOP THIS! I'LL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING!"

"At the sound of Naminé's lovely voice, Demyx was compelled to stop dead in his tracks. Sora even woke up.

"So, Naminé… your explanations better be good – my hatred towards you is depending on this." Kairi had never seemed so… scandalous? Devious? Splendid!

"That's right, Naminé. Why've you been wasting your time with these losers?" Riku gestured towards Sora and Demyx, who then drew their weapons toward Riku now.

"Well, you see…," Naminé started, "It all began – "

"That's ENOUGH. They don't need to hear anymore, Naminé. In fact, they don't need to hear anything ever again. Dance, water, dance!" Demyx howled, furiously plucking the strings of his sitar, sending a flurry of murderous bubbles towards Riku and Sora.

Riku and Sora, unable to pop all the bubbles, were struck by a barrage of hits. They both fell to the ground, clutching their sides and panting.

"Don't underestimate the power of a good song," Demyx pointed his sitar at the two wounded boys while walking towards Naminé. "Naminé…" he said.

"Yes?" she answered.

"You remind me of the babe."

"What babe?"

"The babe with the power."

"What power?"

"The power of voodoo."

"Who do?"

"You do."

"Do what?"

"You remind me of the babe."

"OMG I love that movie," Kairi squealed, "David Bowie is just amazing!"

"I know! He's my HERO!" Demyx exclaimed, turning quickly to look at Kairi, then looking back at Naminé.

"Naminé, I'm sorry you had to suffer through that. I know I'm your one and only man," he apologized to Naminé, hugging her gently.

"Thank you," she sobbed, crying now.

"Wait, what the – "

"*beep*"

" – Is going on?" Riku angrily asked, standing up, leaning on his weapon.

"STOP MAKING NAMINÉ CRY!" Demyx roared furiously, whirling around, his sitar appearing in his hand.

Meanwhile, Axel and Roxas looked at each other. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Axel asked, smiling.

"I believe so, Axel," Roxas replied, returning sneakily the conspiratorial smile.

"SCANDALICIOUS!" both boys exclaimed happily. Axel winked at Roxas. "You know what to do," he said. Roxas nodded. Suddenly they both began running towards the battlefield, waving their arms.

"Wait!" Axel called, "All three of you are wrong."

"Naminé gave that good luck charm to me," Axel and Roxas both said simultaneously.

"WHAT!" everybody but Sora and Riku exclaimed. Riku had actually let out a choice word that Sora had to censor, which is the reason for their lack of participation in the collective 'WHAT!'

"Naminé, you got some *beep* 'splainin' to do." Riku was furious.

"Well, the truth is…" Naminé stuttered… her lips formed into an evil smirk. "I did give that charm to all of you – but my real man is Sephiroth – I just love his long, silky, silver hair – my time with all of you guys made me realize that! Thank you!" she chuckled and smiled.

"Naminé… uh, hello? I've got silky long and silver hair!" Riku was desperate to win the battle for Naminé's love…

"Psh… I'm done with you, babe." Naminé smirked evilly once again.

"NAMINÉEEE! You're… you're so evil! Playing games with our hearts? And I even said you'd never smirked evilly in your entire non-life! How… how… what's gotten into you?" Axel pleaded.

"Ha!" Naminé flipped her hair. "Why, Axel babe, I _am_ quite the actress," she boasted.

Demyx wimply cried, "Get outta my face..sniff…" as he limped out of the room, back hunched, dark cloud looming over him, casting a dark aura around the area, defeated.

"No, Demyx! WAIT!" Demyx perked up and turned as Naminé yelled his name. "MY FEELINGS FOR YOU WERE REAL! IT WAS'T JUST A LIE!" Tears started flowing freely down her face.

Demyx pointed at Naminé. "You—" he collapsed on the floor before Sora could even say "*beep*".

Naminé turned to face the crowd of onlookers, who were now all, except Axel, sitting in their own puddle of tears—even Kairi.

"He'll be out of the picture for a while—you guys can proceed," Naminé explained, as Axel started to applaud her.

"Nicely done. Hey, maybe you should…stick around…a little while?" Axel suggested.

"Naminé batted her eyelashes. "Hm…I guess I could…teehee!" She was back into her cutesy nice girl role…

* * *

Thus, as soon as Axel handed out Gossip Girl tissues to all party members to overcome their sorrows, they set off up the stairs, finally advancing deeper into this…interesting…castle.

"Naminé, what's your secret? You're such a great actress!" Kairi exclaimed, "You really moved me!"

"Teehee," Naminé giggled, "What can I say? It must be my deep love for Sephy."

"He does have great hair," Axel chimed in as they continued up the stairs.

"Actually, Kairi, I'll let you in on a little secret." Naminé leaned in and whispered in Kairi's ear, "I'm _naturally_ evil."

"WHAT?" Kairi exclaimed, jumping two feet in the air. Everyone looked at her strangely.

"Teehee," Naminé giggled again, "I hide it well, don't I?"

"Very…" Kairi mumbled, shifting her eyes.

_Should I tell them?_ Kairi asked herself. She mused for a second, wondering what the possible consequences of allowing Naminé to stay in the group might be. _Nah_, she finally decided, _they totally deserve it_. She was, after all, feeling a bit evil herself.

Meanwhile, Axel was whispering in Roxy's ear. "Naminé's telling Kairi her big secret."

"What? Something… scandalous?" Roxas asked pseudo-innocently.

"Yes… that she's _naturally_ evil," Axel revealed, "Guess Sephy didn't actually need to brainwash her."

"What? Axel, that's no secret. _Everybody_ in the Organization knows that," Roxas commented, looking at Axel confusedly.

"But they don't," Axel whispered, pointing towards Sora and Riku.

"Oh… OH." Roxas realized the scandaliciousness that could arise from this unfortunate situation.

And he loved it.


	10. Chapter 8: The Deal

**Organization Cheese**

**Author's Note: **_HELLLOOOOO all! This is ilovefetcheese! In this chapter the story actually somewhat significantly progresses! The potty mouths grow…please enjoy!!! Really, keep reading! Really, please review! PLEEEEEEASE. Spread the love. Kind readers make our day. =]_

_HELLO! This is ilovefetamorethanyou! Please enjoy this latest chapter!_

**Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Gossip Girl, and…that's actually it this chapter! I think……………**

**Chapter 8: **_**The Deal**_

"Soo… Axel? How long are we going to keep walking up stairs?" Sora was exhausted after a half hour of nothing but a marble staircase.

"Eh, it depends. Until we reach Cloud. But the walking time depends on the party. If you're an organization member, it could be only 15 steps, but if you're an ENEMY, it could be thousands – and, our party is basically composed of all enemies to the Organization – "

All eyes rested on Naminé, who smiled cheerfully.

"Except Naminé… sooo…"

"What're you trying to say?" Riku demanded.

"…We're going to be walking for a while."

"*beep*"

"Don't worry, guys! I'll just go ahead by myself and sneak Cloud outside!" Naminé exclaimed.

"Hey… that might work…" Sora replied.

"I'LL GO WITH YOU NAMINÉ!" Roxas screamed.

"I don't think that's a good idea…" Kairi mumbled.

"No! I PROMISED NAMINÉ!" Sora started to run forward, but Kairi tripped him. He landed splat on his face, unconscious.

"So, Naminé, even with Roxas's help, how are you going to save Cloud?" Kairi was examining the plan closely.

"Well, Sephy doesn't know we're not brainwashed anymore, so it'll be easy to get up there quickly."

"Okay, but how are you going to get Cloud outside?"

"Oh – that's easy. Throw him out the window," Naminé smiled sweetly.

Everyone just stared at her for a minute.

"Teehee. J/K, J/K. Sweet little me wouldn't actually do that," Naminé asserted pleasantly, "I wouldn't want to muss his gorgeous, shiny, silky blonde hair, now would I?"

"Actually," Axel interjected, "I know for a fact that Cloud uses enough gel that his hair will resist a fall from up to 10,000 feet."

Everyone just stared at Axel for a minute. Then, Sora whistled.

"For realz?" he asked, impressed.

"For realz," Axel confirmed, nodding.

"Anyways," Naminé continued, "Leave it to us."

"I don't think – " Riku started, but was interrupted by Naminé's cry of "BYE, SUCKERS!!!" as she grabbed Roxas by the wrist and dragged him up the stairs.

_"Not so fast,"_ a dreamlike, calm, deep voice proclaimed from several hundred stairs above them. Naminé stopped, unable to continue, enraptured by the mysterious voice.

"You have not yet bloomed, young adventurers," the voice continued. The group could see a shadowy figure descending the stairs.

Suddenly, a gentle breeze began to blow, somehow rustling even the hair of our gelled friends, as rose petal after rose petal floated by, filling the staircase and the weary travelers.

"Mmm… these roses smell heavenly," Kairi commented, closing her eyes.

"Yeah… so… nice," Sora replied sleepily. Riku said nothing, because he was beginning to snore.

"Sleepy…" Kairi mumbled, lying on the staircase next to Riku, who was sleeping like a little angel (who would guess he had such a dirty mouth?).

"Me… too…" Sora whispered, falling backwards, landing on top of Riku and Kairi, snoring.

"Why haven't _you three_ succumbed to my charms?!" a pink-haired man in a black coat demanded, unable to comprehend why only three of the six travelers were snoring loudly.

"Marluxia, you forget that we're immune to your scent," Axel reminded, teasingly, assuming a fighting position, a viscious smile on his face.

"Teehee," Naminé giggled, "Silly Marluxia. We've been with you for – how long now?" She giggled evilly and rolled her eyes.

"**Impossible!**" Marluxia cried, "I cannot accept this!"

"At the beginning, every time someone would even _pass_ you in the hall, he or she would faint dead on the spot." Roxas smirked. "But now…"

"Teehee," Naminé giggled nastily, "Now hand us that key ring you're holding or – "

"Face the consequences, Marly!" Axel declared, his flaming chakrams appearing in his hands.

"Actually, dears, I'm too beautiful to fight, so…" Marluxia said, flipping his flawless and perfectly waved hair, "I propose a trade. My keys to darkness for my hair gel which I know you have, Axel. My fifth wave from the left is falling out of place by 5.4 millimeters."

"Actually, it's your fourth wave from the left that's 2.8 millimeters off," Axel corrected, but we have one more condition to place before we accept your offer."

"Give us back our Gossip Girl DVD!" Roxas exclaimed.

Marluxia sighed deeply, "I grow weary. Fine, I'll give you back your DVD AND the keys, but only if you hand over the hair gel AND I get a kiss from Naminé."

"Deal," Roxas agreed quickly, not even looking at Naminé, nor caring. He just wanted some scandaliciousness.

Naminé's mouth hung open, her eyes glaring at Roxas. He looked away contently as Marluxia drew closer.

Roxas looked at Axel and gestured something with his hand as Axel reached into the inside of his frilly coat, pulled out five bottles of pink hair gel, and threw them at Roxas at lightning speed. Roxas caught them all effortlessly, twirling around and flying in the air in a ninja-like manner. He walked over to Marluxia, shook his hand, then forked over the bottles.

Marly nodded, then drew closer to Naminé, who had turned to face the other way. She then slowly rotated, her look of disgust turning into a smile as it came into Marluxia's view.

"Come here_, babe_!" Naminé sprang forward, jumped into Marly's arms, and gave him a strong, thirty-second smooch. She then pulled Marluxia's hood over his face and touched his lips with two fingers. "Teehee!"

She pulled the drawstrings of his cloak as hard as she could, and jumped onto the ground, still holding the strings. The hood tightened, covering his eyes.

"Ah! Why'd it turn…daaark, dude?" Marluxia, still in a daze, collapsed onto the floor in a flurry of rose petals.

"Did he just…faint?" Roxas asked incredulously.

"Teehee," Naminé giggled, "It's all in the power of the smooch. Don't forget to grab his keys!"

"And the DVD!" Roxas added.

"Check," Axel confirmed, nodding and approaching Marluxia's sleeping figure—He knelt down next to Marly, looking at his coat. Axel grabbed the key ring from Marluxia's hand and wondered, "Now where is Marly's secret coat pocket?"

Axel continued to think. "Aha!" He exclaimed, "I have a hunch! I think Marly will be very…friendly." Axel giggled. "He's always had a weakness for Naminé…Could you wake him up, please?" He asked politely, turning towards Naminé.

"Teehee…why certainly!" Naminé giggled again, heading over to Marluxia. Once there, she lowered her head and gave him a quick peck on the lips. "Marluxia…open your eyes!" She implored, shaking his shoulders.

Marluxia fluttered his luscious eyelashes (although, nothing in comparison to Roxy's) and whispered, "Naminé?"

"Yes, dearie?" she crooned, like a concerned granny.

"I…am your servant." He declared, standing up and bowing deeply to her. "I and my magnificent beauty exist only to serve you."

"Why, I'm honored." Naminé smiled. "First, what you can do is give Roxas back his Gossip Girl DVD—"

"Uhh…about that…" Marluxia looked down shamefully.

"WHAT'D YOU DO WITH MY SCANDAL ON A DISK?!?" Roxas shrieked, holding his fists up, ready for a fracas.

Marluxia held up his hand, silencing Roxas, rose petals falling to the floor.

"It was not I…it was…_the visitor_." Marluxia looked relieved to have gotten that off his chest, as if he had just delivered an hour-long speech about hair care.

"The VISITOR?! WHAT THE—"

"*beep*"

"ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?"

Now Sora had to censor not only Riku out but Roxas as well. As Sora pulled out a surgical mask from his pocket and put it on, covering his mouth and nose, a muffled, "Geez, dirty mouths must be contagious…" could be heard.

"Hm…I believe you've been acquainted with him quite a few times…he is, you would call him, a 'big, cool, dude'?" Marluxia explained to Axel and Roxas.

"Sorry. I'm the only big, cool, dude that I know of." Axel boasted.

"YEAH!" Roxas agreed.

"Do you want your DVD or not?" Marluxia stated bluntly, angry sparkles radiating from him.

"Yes ma'am—COUGH COUGH! SIR!!!" Roxas yelled.

Marluxia eyed Roxas. "I'll let that pass for now, young one. Shall I take you to the one who possesses your DVD?"

"YES SIR!" Everyone in the party shouted, eager to move the story along whenever possible.

Marluxia chuckled. "Very well. But beware: you may be shocked at what you find." He gracefully turned around while grabbing Naminé's hand, and led her up the stairs. The rest of the party followed.

***

One hour. One long, tortuous hour of walking up stairs, walking down hallways, walking up more stairs, spiking hair (Kairi acquired a particular interest In Marluxia when he gave her hair pointers and lent her some pink gel), walking down more hallways, up **ever more** stairs, and down yet another hallway all in the company of Marluxia, who spent the whole time talking about his beautiful hair, his beautiful vast rose garden, as well as his own beauty, of course. After the first ten minutes of strenuous walking activity joined with Marly's chatter, and continually after (particularly at 1-minute intervals), a very loud "BEEP!" could be heard throughout the castle.

Finally, once the whole lot of journeyers had been journeyed out, Marluxia stopped in his tracks and did a majestic ballerina-esque twirl, rose petals flying everywhere.

"WE HAVE ARRIVED!" Marluxia exclaimed, hand raised in the air. "TIS JUST DOW TE HALL! Let us continue…"

The group was halfway down the hall when something 'dinged!' in front of them.

Riku lashed out his weapon in the air in an instant. "WHAT WAS THAT?!"

Marluxia turned around and replied nonchalantly, "Oh, just the elevator. "No big deal."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?" The whole gang's mouths hung open.

"*BEEP BEEP BEEP* HAIR GEL *BEEP BEEP BEEP* WHAAT *BEEP* YOU *BEEP BEEP* ELEVATOR?!?!?!!? *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*!" Riku's dirty mouth had spread to all the members of the party all of a sudden, and Sora was struggling to censor them all out.

Naminé looked at Marluxia with a fake smile on her face. "Honey…now, SINCE WHEN HAS THERE BEEN AN ELEVATOR IN HERE?!" she exploded.

Marluxia was taken aback, and flinched from Naminé's outburst. "Uh…umm….yesterday?"

"And, dearie, WHY DIDN'T WE TAKE THIS NEW ELEVATOR UP HERE?!"

Marluxia flipped his flawless pink locks over his shoulder. "ALL elevators' electromagnetivity make my hair frizz. _**Duh**_."

Axel was flaming behind them, just about ready to burn Marluxia's head adornments off, when he noticed that the elevator doors were opening, a figure inside them.

"Whoa! Something in this story that actually makes sense!" he exclaimed, happily.

All eyes were drawn to the elevator as a male figure emerged from it. He was carrying a freshly baked loaf of bread, and sported a baker's hat and shirt, along with flour smudges on his face of fair complexion.

The tall man smiled and exclaimed happily, "Hey, guys! Long time no see!"

Kairi fainted after letting out a fangirlish squeal. The rest gasped.

It was Cloud.


	11. Chapter 9: Meanwhile

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N:** HELLO EVERYONE! This is ilovefetamorethanyou! Enjoy! Thank you for reading and **please** enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, My Chemical Romance, Bed Bath and Beyond, Publix, Davy Havok, AFI, their song Love Like Winter, or the music video(or his luscious eyelashes), Disney, Disney Castle, Diana Ross, the Supremes, their song 'Stop! In the Name of Love', it's lyrics, and….._**oh my feta**_, Gossip Girl was not in this chapter! Miracles really do happen!

**Chapter 9: **_**Meanwhile…**_

*5 hours previously *

"Another mysterious door?" Yuffie asked sarcastically.

"Jeeezus, an ol' man lak me can't walk any further. My back's jus' about to give out!" Cid commented while chewing on a toothpick.

"Spit out that tooth pick, Cid, we can't understand you," Leon said (quite rudely).

"''Scuse me, young'un, but you need to have som respect for you elders. Now, if only you had listened to me five hours ago, we'd have rescued Cloud already. But noooo, instead of takin' the elevator, you insisted that was "too easy" and decided that we needed to take the stairs. Why, I oughta tell yo momma—"

"Listen, Geezer—"

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Yuffie interjected, standing between the two. "If I had known that you two would be bickering the ENTIRE journey, I would have just thrown out that letter from the King with the rest of the junk mail!"

*1 day previous*

"Electric bill," Yuffie read as she was sorting through the mail on a particularly sunny day in Radiant Garden. The Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee was lounging and drinking raspberry iced tea. Each of them was eagerly awaiting a certain item in the mail: Yuffie was awaiting her ninja accessories catalogue, Cid was hoping he'd get a letter from his newest acquaintance through the Singles Pen Pal Service ("Which is not," he insisted," A postal dating service!"), and Leon was eagerly expecting the ticket to the My Chemical Romance concert he ordered online a few days ago.

"Toss." Cid commanded.

"Water bill," Yuffie continued.

"Garbage," Cid verified.

"Cable bill,"

"Junk"

"Waste service bill."

"Trash."

"You know, you'll have to pay these bills eventually, Cid," Leon remarked, leaning back in his chair.

"Hey, this 'ol town owes me big time for this defense service," Cid retorted, angrily, "I shouldn't have to pay no bills."

Yuffie sighed and continued. She was used to their daily arguments. "Dry cleaning service advertisement. Bed Bath and Beyond Coupon. Publix ad. Fan mail for Aerith...more fan mail."

"My, word, don't they know she is no longer of the livin'?" Cid asked, exasperated.

"Her tragic death only increased her popularity. Just wait until they release her greatest hits CD. And the book she wrote—How Cheese Changed My Life," Leon explained calmly. Aerith, once a singing sensation, was still receiving buckets of fan mail by the day.

"Ooh, look, this one's from Japan," Yuffie admired, digging deeper into the crate of mail the postman had delivered that day.

"Just toss the whole thing out. It's all just for Aerith, anyway," Leon interrupted Yuffie's ogling.

"But don't you think we should write them back?" Yuffie asked sadly, pouting at Leon. Cid began to cackle.

"Who in tarnation would want to hear from Squall Leonhart—""

"Hey!" Leon shouted, standing up angrily, knocking over his chair in the process.

"BE QUIET," Yuffie commanded, continuing to sort the mail. Aerith's pile was quickly rising towards the ceiling.

"Oh, this is addressed to the three of us," Yuffie said suddenly, after a few minutes of pawing through the mail. "It just looks like junk mail, though. I'll just toss it—"

"Wait!" Cid shouted, grabbing the letter from Yuffie, "Look at this seal!" He pointed to the wax seal in the back. It was shaped like a head with two very large, very round ears.

"THE KING!" Yuffie and Leon gasped simultaneously.

"Well, open it! Don't jus' stare at it!" Cid ordered.

Yuffie slid her finger under the corner of where the envelope was folded shut, but it ripped down the body of the envelope. She tried opening it from the other side, but it just ripped oddly, too. She was about to throw it on the ground, furious, yelling, "WHY DO I HAVE TO DESTROY **EVERY****SINGLE**ENVELOPE I TOUCH?!?", when Leon tapped her shoulder sweetly and handed her an envelope opener.

"…Oh. Thanks." Yuffie finally managed to open the envelope—still messily—and she pulled out the letter, then opened it.

"Ahem, Ahem," she cleared her throat. "It reads,

'Dear Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee, my favorite minions (not)—I need your help! My dearest spiky-haired friend (yes, I know I have many), Cloud, has been taken captive by Sephiroth, the evil one with gorgeous hair!! Please, I BEG OF YOU! Go to Castle d'Italia—your guide will find you on his own, but you must set off now! Cloud has already been there quite long, and the time is still ticking. He's getting really lonely…

From Your King, Mickey.'"

"Whaaaaat?! Go save Cloud? What has he done for us?" Cid shouted, angered.

"Uh…graced us with the presence of his dreamy, deep blue eyes, gorgeous, luscious blonde spiked hair, and that _amaaaaaaaazing_ body?" Yuffie fantasized, drooling.

"Yuffie!" Leon grabbed her hand, gazed strongly into her eyes. "Am I and my beastly hair coolness not enough?" He quickly turned away, tears starting to brim in his eyes. "Oh, the woe!" He put his hand in front of his face dramatically.

"NO, LEON!" Yuffie reached out to Leon's chin and slowly turned his head back to face her.

"Cloud…Cloud's just like a celebrity to me! You're…"

"Aw, please." Cid went back to his work, ignoring the youngsters.

"You're…"

"The worst fake crier I've eve not met in my entire non-life," a foreign male voice declared calmly. All three members of the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee turned to look at the entryway. Yuffie gasped, using one hand to cover her mouth in shock and another to point at the mystery man."You—You—You're from the Organization!" She cried, panicking. "That lack cloak! That dark hood! That—that—that outrageously awesome hairstyle?!"

The stranger had pulled down his hood to reveal a stunning gray-blue hairstyle that would make even Davy Havok jealous (who, by the way, had luscious eyelashes long enough to rival even Roxas's in the Love Like Winter Music Video).

Leon shot a look at Yuffie that meant 'we'll talk about this later' and removed the Gunblade from its sheath, ready to pounce at even the slightest hint of aggression from the newcomer.

"Relax," the man stated, "I am not your enemy."

"And what, makes ya think we'll believe ya?" Cid asked incredulously, chewing furiously on his toothpick.

"Get outta here before I kick your behind," Cid continued, reaching for his spear, which was currently on display on the wall.

"The man held up a hand. "I am Zexion, sent by King Mickey to guide you into the darkness. We must make haste for Lord Sephiroth grows more powerful with every minute that passes."

"How can we trust you? How do we know that you're the guide sent by Mickey?" Yuffie inquired, pulling a small shuriken from her back pocket.

"If you desire proof of my honesty, look no further than my right ear," Zexion explained. He brushed back his hair to reveal his ear. Yuffie, Leon, and Cid all moved closer to look.

"Whoooa," Yuffie commented in awe.

"Duuuuude, nice piercing," Leon complimented, looking closely, "Where'd you get it done? I've been looking for a piercing parlor but there aren't any in Radiant Gar—"

"You youngsters," Cid interrupted, shaking his head, "All right, I trust you. That earring just about says it all."

Zexion's glorious right ear, usually covered by his glorious bangs, held, in his front lobe piercing, a silver earring in the shape of King Mickey's seal (his head). This flat silver adornment was connected by chains to both a second lobe piercing and two cartilage holes. Dangling from each hole (except the first) were smaller, more delicate King Mickey insignias.

"This earring not only signifies the fact that I am a certified Disney Castle tour guide, but will provide us with protective power along the way," Zexion continued, putting his rock star bangs back in place. The earring was once again hidden.

"So…what are you here for again?" Leon asked.

"Why, I must take you to Cloud!" Zexion replied.

"Uhh…why do you want to help take us to Cloud when you are part of an evil organization? Oh…and on top of that, you're supposed to be dead? Yeahh…AHH!!!" Leon pointed to Zexion as he yelped. "THERE'S A ZOMBIE IN OUT PRESENCE!"

"Oh my, Leon, this must be taken care of right way!" Yuffie exclaimed.

Zexion held up his hand. "**Stop!** _In the naaaame of loove_, _be-fore you breeeak my heart…_"

Leon, Yuffie, and Cid's mouths hung open. A fly buzzed into Cid's so he closed it for a second to swallow, but then opened it again after breathing, "_Ah…_protein."

"Ew," Yuffie replied.

Zexion reached into his coat and pulled out a black leather object. With a smooth, graceful motion of his hand, the top of the object flipped over, revealing a badge.

"_Think it o-o-ver…_" Zexion did a little disco-like move with his hip.

"Okay, I'm quite suspicious about you being a zombie diva and all, but that earring and badge are impossible to ignore. You've got my trust…for now." Leon explained.

"Me too." Yuffie nodded.

"Yeah yeah," Cid waved his hand and went back to his work.

"Don't worry…friends, all will be explained soon…Let us journey now." Zexion did a twirl while pointing a finger in the air, and a dark portal appeared in from of them.

Zexion's eyes glowed gold as he walked into the portal, the Hollow Bastion Restoration Committee following.


	12. Chapter 10: Laundry Duty

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N:** Hello friends! Loyal readers! How are you on this fine morning? I, ilovefetamorethanyou, am having a lovely morning. Well, as I have nothing more to report (other than the _fantastic_ deal I got on toothpaste yesterday), I shall leave you to indulge yourself in the world of _Organization Cheese_. Au revoir!

**Disclaimer:** We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Disney. (Wait what? No Gossip Girl in this chapter?)

**Chapter 10:**_** Laundry Duty**_

When they emerged from the dark portal, two comments could be heard:

"Whoa."

"So… beautiful…"

"Isn't it?" Cid asked, swiveling his head to look at Leon, the source of the compliment. Leon, however, was not talking about the ominous castle before their eyes.

"Hey, you naughty youngsters! Get your paws offa her, Leon!" Cid scowled, spitting his toothpick onto the ground.

Leon had his arms wrapped tightly around Yuffie and was currently whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Yuffie was blushing and giggling.

"Hey, it was dark in there, and Zexion interrupted our mushy romantic scene earlier," Leon retorted, releasing Yuffie from his grasp. Shrugging, he said, "I decided to take advantage of the situation."

"And I always thought you were cool," Cid said wistfully, shaking his head solemnly, "Now, here you are, being mushy. Ew."

The only response Leon needed to give in order to reaffirm his coolness was a casual hair flip.

"Ahem," Zexion interrupted, "Now, if I may welcome you to the mysterious, otherworldly, and invisible Castle d'Italia!"

"Is that homemade gouda I smell?" Yuffie exclaimed, sniffing.

"Yo, moron," Cid said, (meaning Zexion), "this castle ain't invisible."

"The two keys have been united and the gates officially unlocked. Therefore, the castle can now be seen with the ordinary eye, until the Keybearers seal Castle d'Italia away for another hundred years," Zexion explained, gesturing towards the looming structure.

"You talkin' 'bout Sora?" Cid asked thoughtfully.

"Yes. I am detecting his scent within the castle's lobby, as well as those of a few others," Zexion replied.

"Oooh is Riku with him? His hair is so silky and shiny and smooth and smells like cinnamon buns! Let's go meet them!" Yuffie jumped up and down excitedly.

"That is not our path. We shall be – "

"Hold on, hold on. More importantly: Yuffie, when did you get close enough to Riku to smell his hair?" Leon viciously interrupted Zexion.

"Gasp!" The scandaliciousness was even more dramatized by Cid and Zexion's innocent gasps.

"Uh… I… IT'S NOT WHAT YOU THINK, LEON!" Yuffie cried.

"Yeah, I already know, Yuffie. You were stealing Riku's wallet to look at his ID to see his age, when you _so casually_ stopped for a second to indulge in the marvelous scent of his oh-so attractive hair? And then when he turned around you planted a nice smooch, distracting him while you grabbed his wallet, WHILE you were on a date with Tidus?"

"Geez, Leon, didja have to put it so bluntly?"

"Uh-huh. Sorry, babe. Just say it." Leon turned away

"Aww… come on! So what if I like to toy with the hearts of the entire male cast of Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts? It's all in good fun… the one I really want is you, Leon!"

"Mmmhmm. Go steal someone else's heart."

"Okay, crowd! Let's get to Cloud now, shall we?" Zexion reminded everyone that this was NOT _Final Fantasy: A Soap Opera_.

"Good idea, man." Cid was already on his fifth toothpick since they popped out of the darkness.

"Hey… where are we, anyway?" Yuffie was quite eager to change the subject.

"As I said previously, outside Castle d'Italia" Zexion replied.

"Oh."

"We must enter via the back door," Zexion held up a silver key which seemed to be splattered with blood.

"Now that's not shady at all," Cid commented, still chewing thoughtfully.

* * *

Five minutes later, the quartet found themselves within the dark confines of the mysterious Castle d'Italia.

"So where's Cloud?" Cid asked, looking around. The room was bare.

Zexion merely pointed towards the ceiling.

"Up?" Cid asked.

"Yes," Zexion answered.

"Down?" Yuffie questioned.

"No."

"Right?" she asked hopefully.

"No."

"Left?"

"No"

"East Northeast?"

"UP, YUFFIE. HE SAID UP," Leon yelled, frustrated.

"Just checking."

Zexion began to lead them towards the staircase. Cid glanced at an arrow lit up in the distance as they passed.

"Hey, isn't that an elevator?" Cid questioned, pointing.

"Yes," Zexion answered, "Would you like to take it?"

"Sure – "

"NO!" Leon cried, throwing himself between the elevator and Cid. "It's too easy! It must be a trap!"

"I really don't thin– " Cid began, but was quickly cut off by Leon.

"You're right, you don't think," Leon lashed out, "Come on, baby, we're taking the stairs." He grabbed Yuffie by the hand and dragged her towards the staircase.

* * *

"So here we are, another mysterious staircase," Cid growled, "Now what?" he looked at Zexion. "How many are left?

"This is the 49th flight of stairs. Therefore, we have 51 left to go," Zexion answered calmly. Suddenly he stiffened. "I am detecting the presence of another Organization member on the floor above us."

"Who?" Yuffie wondered out loud.

"I am detecting Larxene's scent."

"What does she smell like?"

"Cheesecake tempura."

"Oh…"

"Larxene approaching," Zexion declared.

"ZEXION," a loud, female voice boomed, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO DO LAUNDRY?" A blonde woman in an organization cloak descended the staircase.

"Thirteen loads is a lot, Larxene. Don't forget that Demyx's woolen underwear, scarves, hats, and sweaters need to be washed separately in cold water, Naminé's whites always need to be partitioned and bleached, Axel's reds can't be mixed with Marluxia's pinks, and heaven forbid I shrink Axel's skinny jeans, and your silks need to be taken to the dry cleaner for special treatment, and I have to use special hypoallergenic laundry detergent on my cloak or I'll start sneezing constantly and break out in hives, and Roxas requires fabric softener during both the wash AND the dry in double doses to get that baby-soft feel, Xemnas's cloak needs to be starched and ironed to stiff, ominous, evil perfection, and if I dare mix up Xaldin's and Xigbar's preferred detergent scents I'll never hear the end of it, and Lexaeus – "

"Ok, ok, I get it. Whatev." Larxene waved lazily, "Could you just do me a favor please? Obliterate that horrible scent of cheese from this castle! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! THAT WRETCHED STENCH!"

"Umm… I don't think you can do anything about that, Larxene. You and I are both aware of the… project that is taking place on the top floor…" Zexion explained shadily.

"Oooh, what project? Sounds fun!" Yuffie was easily excited.

"Yeah, Zexion, what project? I haven't heard about this!" Larxene remarked.

"Have you been to the top floor?"

"No, are you crazy? The scent only gets stronger as you go up!"

"Well, I can't say much to that. Journey along on your merry way now, Larxene, we've got some business to take care of. Meet you up there." Zexion flashed his dreamy, glamorous smile and started down the hallway, past her.

"FINE, but I'm taking the elevator!" Larxene shouted, obnoxiously.

Yuffie and Cid eyed each other, conveying a message. Leon and Zexion were oblivious to this, as they were already halfway down the hallway.

Just as a 'ding' rang out into the hallway and large reflective metallic doors opened, revealing an… office lounge (?), Yuffie and Cid dashed into it, before Larxene had the chance to protest.

This distinctive noise brought Leon and Zexion to attention as they turned their heads. Zexion jumped, taken aback. "NOOOO!" He started running toward the elevator, arm outstretched. "I CAN'T LET YOU FALL INTO LARXENE'S EEEVIL SCHEMES!" He ran past Leon, who after a glamorous hair flip turned and started running as well.

* * *

Back in the elevator, Larxene tried pushing the two characters back into the hallway. "Heyyy, you guys, get outta here!"

"No way, man!" Yuffie bashed the 'door close' button rapidly. "I'm not walking up another 50 flights of stairs!"

"You said it," Cid agreed, chewing happily on his toothpick now.

"YUUUUUFFIE!" Leon had run ahead of Zexion now, since he couldn't go too fast or else the cheese breeze would drastically alter his intricately positioned rock star hair.

"YUFFIE, DON'T LEAVE ME! TRAITOR! I LOVE YOOOUUUUU –"

"LEOOONN! RUN FASTERRR!"

The doors were closing slowly but steadily, however, and as Leon slid on the stone to try and catch the elevator, the metal shapes finally shut.

"Hey, babe. Lookin' good." Leon was admiring his beauty in the metal's reflection.

"Ah, nicely gelled, Mufasa, nicely gelled," Leon cosseted his hair, which he had deemed precious enough to name.

"…Wait a minute… eh! That slide must've rearranged my front two hanging side bang spikes! Ahh!" Leon scrambled to put them back in their proper order, and pulled a bottle of maximum hold 200% effective hair gel to make extra certain there would be no more hair malfunctions that day. To finish it off, Leon also pulled out a can of spray-on hair shine, and gave his head an extra three doses just to make it that much more dazzling.

"Want some?" he offered, turning to Zexion, who then held up a nicely manicured hand.

"No way, dude." He flipped his hair, and the light reflected off of it was practically blinding (Leon had to cover his eyes from The Dazzlement). "My hair is naturally shiny."


	13. Chapter 11: The Secret

_**Organization Cheese**_

**A/N:** The Organization lives, baby! Ilovefetacheese and I were on hiatus for awhile, adjusting to the end of the summer and the beginning of REALITY. But worry not, we will be back soon with more chapters for everyone! Except I really don't know how many more _lame_ hair jokes I can pull. Really, there is a limit to these things.

Enjooooooooooy! And please, I'd like some reviews for breakfast. And some feta.

**Disclaimer:** We do not own KH, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, Covergirl, Final Fantasy, Starbucks, Frappuccinos, Zelda, Wii, Nintendo, PS2, NYC makeup products, or Zexion's rock star awesomeness.

**Chapter 11: **_**The Secret**_

Back in the elevator, Yuffie and Cid were quite intrigued by a suspendable office. Larxene, on the other hand, was quite annoyed.

"So, uh… why is this office lounge an elevator?" Yuffie inquired to Larxene, who was sitting at a bleached white desk, staring at the colorless laptop on it.

"Why do you think, dear? For comfort! This is not the fastest elevator, and this is quite a large castle. See the connection? I've got at least a good ten minutes until we reach the top floor to check my Facebook AND Twitter accounts. Sometimes even Myspace. Here, why don't you leave me be and take a nap on that futon, or go whip yourself up a Frappaccino in the kitchenette? Or play Zelda on the Wii. We've got a PS2, also! Y'know, I've been completely addicted to this one game lately… uhhgg, what's it called? Kingdom… GAHHH WHAT IS IT? OH! KINGDOM HEARTS! So terribly addicting. You should try." Larxene was quite cheerful when discussing her favorite technological entertainment.

"Heyyy, I wanna check my facebook! This is awesome!" Yuffie was quite enthralled. Cid was already snoring after raiding the fridge of root beer.

"No way, hun – I've much more friends than you that are awaiting my latest updates. Now, shoo. Leave me be – "

"And how many would that be? Hmmm?"

"Forty-seven, baby! Ha!" Larxene happily pronounced.

Cid raised his arm and mumbled, "Pshhh, eighty-five, young-un…" and then went back to snoring.

"Oh, please, I beat all of you by a landslide! I've got one hundred fifty nine! Beat that! OHHH–"

"And how many does your friend Leon have? Hmm?" Larxene was digging deep.

"…A thousand and two…" Yuffie's head was down, ashamed. "It's no fair! They're all just fan girls! Why does… he have to be so COOOL?" Tears brimmed in her eyes.

Larxene sniffed, and gave Yuffie a hug. "It's okay, sweetie… all the men in the group take the attention away from me, too! Zexion's in the 500 range, Marluxia near a thousand, and Axel and Roxy's friend numbers have completely skyrocketed. It's JUST NO FAIR!" The two were now weeping, and even Cid looked a little sad in his blissful sleep.

There was a sudden 'ding!' and everyone jumped.

"Aww, darn it! I didn't get to go online! C'mon, let's go, pipsqueaks. We'll see this 'project' that awaits us…"

* * *

Leon and Zexion had continued walking after fifteen minutes of sharing hair care tips about giving your hair the appearance of natural shininess. They had reached the next floor.

"So… uh… don't we need to catch up with Yuffie and Cid to restore our group?"

"Yeah, I guess. Let's walk fast," Zexy replied.

Leon grabbed Zex's hood to halt his walking. In a serious, dangerous tone, he stated, "…I'm talking about the elevator."

Zexion gasped. "NO! You know what it does to my hair!"

"In the name of cheese, man – just come on!" Leon had already pressed the elevator button, and when the 'ding' came, after checking his reflection in the metal (to make sure his hair was behaving), he grabbed Zexion by the waist and carried him in, Zexy squealing like a spoiled child, "My hair! MY HAAAIRRR!"

Leon ignored him, and as the doors shut and the elevator started ascending, he commented on the elaboratively furnished space.

"Whoa. Nice room, man. Is that a computer? Do you have wi-fi?" Leon was getting excited.

"Yes, and yes. Oh, and thank you. I didn't pick out the furniture, though. Most of it's from the Castle That Never Was. We're on a tight budget here, you know."

"Oh. I'm sorry. Ah! I have to check my Facebook! I've got so many fangirls waiting to hear back from me!"

Zexion put a hand on Leon's shoulder. "Wait." Zexy motioned to a futon with… a toothpick and drool on one of its pillows. "Sit down. I need to tell you something…"

"Uhh… ok…" Leon sat down on the side of the futon opposite the drooled on pillow. Zexion gazed into his eyes.

"I've never told this to anyone before, Leon… but, with both of us having other-worldly awesome rock-star hairstyles, I feel like we've established a strange bond together. With your aura of coolness, I think you can handle this."

Leon was a little creeped out. "Umm… okay… hurry up, I have fangirls waiting…"

Zexion leaned closer, and whispered into Leon's ear, "I've always wanted to be a ballerina."

Leon just stared at Zexion. Really, by this point, nothing surprised him. Even Yuffie's death by dark chocolate, thirty-nine floors above him, would not have startled him, had he known of its occurrence. But that's a different story.

"Actually, what I want to be is a danseur nobel, which is the male equivalent of a Prima Ballerina. Can you just imagine it?" Zexion asked dreamily.

"Actually, I see you as more of a rock star dude," Leon discussed, putting a hand on his chin thoughtfully. "I mean, you already have the hair."

"Really?" Zexion questioned curiously, looking up.

"Yeah… now all you need is some eyeliner." Leon reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out a stick of Covergirl blackest black eyeliner. "Try this. It's my favorite. Well, it's tied with my NYC deep purple eyeliner, but I think black is more your color."

"Oooh," Zexion murmured appreciatively, admiring the eyeliner he now held in his hands. He whipped out a compact and began to apply the makeup.

"You know, Leon, I think you're on to something," Zexion admitted whilst outlining his glamorous eyes, "Maybe I _will_ be a rock star after all. Thanks!"

"No prob." Leon settled lazily into his chair and waved at Zexion. After a moment of sitting in companionable silence, Leon spoke up. "Actually, Zexion, I also have a confession to make."

"Yes?" Zexion exclaimed eagerly, happy he made a new friend.

"I… I…"

"Yes?" Zexion encouraged.

"I don't love Yuffie," Leon spilled out hastily.

"WHAT?" Zexion cried, taken aback. "WHAAAAAT?" he repeated, completely surprised.

"I know, I know," Leon admitted, shaking his head in shame, "It's just… there's this blonde girl I met once that I just can't get out of my mind."

"Who?" Zexion inquired excitedly.

"Her name… is Naminé."


	14. Chapter 12: The Letter

Organization Cheese

A/N: Hey guys! How was your weekend? Mine was good. I finally got this typed up! This is a strange chapter, I'll admit, but I sure did enjoy writing it with ilovefetacheese! I hope you have fun reading it!

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy or any of their affiliations. Or Facebook. Or Gossip Girl. Speaking of Gossip Girl, does anyone know when the new season starts?

**Chapter 12: The Letter**

"AHH – AHH – AHHHH!" Naminé was making particularly strange loud noises.

"You okay there, Naminé?" Axel was perturbed.

"CHOO!"

"Oh, phew! That was one deep sneeze!" Sora commented.

"ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! CHOO! CHOOOOO! AHHHHH! WHY – CHOO – AM I – ACHOO – SNEEZ – CHOO – ING SO- ACHOOOOO – MUCH?" Naminé shrieked, her flurry of sneezes finally concluding.

"Wow! Someone must be thinking about you!" Cloud happily exclaimed.

"…Great." Naminé glared at Cloud.

"WHAAAT? DID I JUST SEE YOU DO WHAT I THINK YOU DID YOUNG LADY I THINK I DID!" Sora had a very loud outburst, "THAT'S MY HERO CLOUD YOU JUST GLARED AT!!!"

Did Naminé know who she was dealing with? She had, after all, just spoken harshly to Cloud, the one the group had journeyed long and far for, near and wide – Cloud, who possessed the Cheese of Youth? Cloud, Cloud, Cloud, Cloud, Cloud, Cloud (author's note: can you tell I'm in love with Cloud?), with the gorgeous hair? CLOUD!

"Cloud! She didn't mean it! I still love you!" Kairi awakened from her shock of fangirl dreamy bliss to announce her love to the world.

"Aww, thank you, Kairi! Here, take this loaf of bread as thanks for your undying love." As Cloud handed her the loaf of bread that smelled heavenly from his hands, Kairi fainted once again after failing to endure Cloud's sparkling smile.

"So, uh… Cloud, why're you wearing… clothes – *cough* a baking outfit?"

"Because… I'm… a baker!" Cloud exclaimed happily, smiling at everyone.

"Really?" Sora inquired, frowning. He couldn't believe that his hero was… baking bread?!

"Yep!" came a girlish voice from across the room. Sora and company piled over each other to peer through the doorway next to Cloud.

"Cloud even has a little Italian café snuggled here in the top floor of the tallest, darkest tower in Castle d'Italia," Yuffie elaborated after sipping from her steaming hot cappuccino and taking a bite from her freshly baked canoli, "He's really good, too. Quite the professional!"

"Yuffie!" Sora, Riku, and Kairi yelled, rushing past Cloud, into the room, "and Cid!"

"And Demy-baby! You're ok!" Naminé cried, rushing over to Yuffie and Cid's coffee companion. She dashed forward, tackling him out of his chair.

"Oh my," Yuffie commented, covering her mouth, shocked at the scene.

"Youngsters these days," Cid sighed, shaking his head in resignation.

"Wait wait wait," Riku held up a hand, "There are a few important questions here. First of all –"

"WHERE'S LEON?" Axel screamed, "I demand an explanation!" Everyone stared at him.

"Axel?" Roxas questioned, "How do you know Leon?"

"A few weeks ago, I wrote a fan letter to Aerith, because as everybody knows, she is the star of Gossip Girl: Radiant Garden, seasons 4-7, episode 432 of which marks her last appearance before her tragic death at the hands of Sephiroth," Axel began explaining.

"WHAT?!?" Yuffie yelped, jumping out of her chair, "I thought she was a multi-platinum, Grammy-winning pop/rock sensation!"

"WHAT?!?" Cid exclaimed immediately after, his toothpick dropping from his mouth, "I thought she was the Daytime Emmy award-winning host of the Dr. Aerith talkshow?!?"

"WHAAAAT?!?!?" Cloud's jaw dropped, "I thought she was the talented author of the highly acclaimed, very trashy, very steamy romance novel series _Heartless_, all 239 volumes of which have appeared on the New York Times' bestseller's list!!!"

"Wait – "

"But -?!?"

"What the – "

*beep*"

"But Cloud, she was the love of your life! How could you not know?!" Yuffie screeched at Cloud.

"WHAAAAAAAT!" Kairi and Naminé both squealed, "Cloud has a girlfriend?! Nooooooooo!!!!!!!"

"LET ME FINISH!!!" Axel boomed. Everyone stopped to look at him, and gulped in fear, falling silent when they saw that his hair was on fire. "AS I WAS SAYING," he continued thunderously, "As Aerith's biggest fangirl –"

"Hold it, Axel!" Roxas interrupted, "I'm Aerith's biggest fangirl!"

"NO I AM!"

"I AM!!!"

"ME!"

"ME!"

"YOU!"

"ME!"

"YOU!"

"YOU!"

"MEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

"Umm… I hate to interrupt, but I think there's a more pressing question here," Riku gently interjected, standing between the feuding friends, "You do realize that you both referred to yourselves as fangirls?"

"YES! I mean NO! I MEAN – " they both answered frantically at the same time.

"I'm trying to sleep here!" Cid roared from his chair, a brand new toothpick falling from his mouth.

"Anywayz," Axel continued, "I wrote her a fan letter, only to receive a response from some NOBODY by the name of SQUALL LEONHART!!!"

The entire audience gasped. Cid began to cackle loudly. "See – I told him! Who would ever want a response from Squall Leonhart?!?"

"HIS LETTER READ AS FOLLOWS: 'Hey there, Aerith fan. I'm her BFFL, Leon. I know you took the time to send this letter all the way from Japan –"

"Japan?!" Riku looked at Axel strangely.

"The Castle that Never Was is actually at the top of Mt. Fuji," Roxas explained, shrugging. "Continue, Axel."

"Ahem. ' –so I thought it would be nice to respond. It was Yuffie's (Aerith's other BFFL) idea, actually. Anyways, here's a recipe for Aerith's famous lemon meringue pie. Oh yeah – if you're a gorgeous (but not trained in the ninja way) Asian chick, call me! Oh, and if you have a single grandma, I can fix her up with this guy Cid. Anywayz – my cell phone number is – "

"LEON!" Yuffie roared, "That cheating little – "

"ANYWAYZ," Axel interrupted, "That was a lame letter."

"Got that right, bud," Cid agreed.

"So now I want REVENGE," Axel hissed.


	15. Chapter 13: Omelettes

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N**: Hello! Reeaaaaaaaaaaaad… and review! Please? We realize that this chapter may seem short… but it works out in the grand scheme of things. NOW ENJOY!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own KH, Square Enix, Disney, Final Fantasy, umm… what else… I think that's about it this chapter.

**Chapter 13: Omelettes**

Meanwhile, Hayner, Pence, and Omlette *AHEM* Olette had also embarked on a journey to save Cloud (though they did not know it, quite yet…).

"Hey Omlette! Let's go to the beach! You too, Hayner!" Pence was eager to do some watermelon karaoke. "They've got that new watermelon karaoke restaurant!"

"OKAY!" Hayner and Olette shouted in agreement.

"Ah, I can hear the train to the beach already! Listen…" Hayner stood still, closing his eyes.

*grumble**grumble*

"Aw, silly goose! That was my stomach! I still haven't eaten breakfast yet…" Pence looked down, rubbing his stomach.

"I know!" An electric yellow light bulb appeared on top of Hayner's head. "Let's eat OMELETTES!"

"YEAH! Sounds real good, right about now…"

"Hey you guys, stop making fun of my name! That joke is NOT funny and way overused," Olette protested.

"Aw, but Olette, do you have to feed the flame by owning a wardrobe consisting only of yellow, yellow, hairgel, and more yellow?"

"Hey, I barely use half as much hair gel as you Hayner! OR Pence!"

Hayner turned around and started walking away, gesturing with his head that the subject was done. "Yeah, yeah, let's just go and get our tickets and buy something at the station." The rest of the group reluctantly followed.

"AIIE! THERE'S A SPECIAL THAT IF YOU BUY THREE OMELETS, YOU GET A FREE TRAIN TICKET OF EQUAL OR LESSER VALUE! YEAAAAHHHH!" Hayner shouted as the three approached the train station, looking at the large advertisement special displayed on a billboard outside the building. Olette instantly drifted off, walking away, with her head down, ashamed of her existence (or at least her friendship with these two lame-o 's).

"LET'S GO! WOOOOO! I WANT A FETA CHEESE OMELETTE!" Pence exclaimed, revved up for their adventurous breakfast.

Twenty minutes later, the three were pleasantly satiated with cooked eggs, had bought their train tickets, an were awaiting the train to the beach to start boarding.

"Ahh…" Hayner rubbed his stomach soothingly, "That was ONE GREAT OMELETTE!" he teased Olette.

"Yeah, I know, Hayner! I just LOVE OMELETTES!" Pence replied loudly.

"Aww, tell me about it! I could just eat OMELETTES, OMELETTES, OMELETTES ALL DAY – BREAKFAST, LUNCH, AND DINNER!"

Olette was glaring at her two male friends, her eyes starting to moisten. "YOU GUUUYS, YOU'RE SOOO MEAN! HAYNER, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I CALLED YOU HAYWIRE, AND PENCE, IF I CALLED YOU… YOU… PENTHOUSE?"

"…" The boys did not reply because, frankly, they didn't care.

"WAHHHHHH!" With that, Olette ran off blindly, finding herself stumbling onto a random train with open doors, yet no seats filled. Hayner and Pence followed reluctantly, as over the intercom, a voice echoed, "Train 1256325557193575, Destination: Beach, is now boarding. Please make haste."

"Oleeeette! Come on, we gotta go!" Hayner called out to Olette as he peeked into the empty train, finding her curled up on a bench, sobbing.

"No! Why would I want to do watermelon karaoke with gelheads like you all?"

"Because we've got smoked gouda cheese!" Pence chimed in, walking into the train. "Come on, we can all eat it on the train," he consoled walking to Olette.

Hayner followed (he wanted his share of that cheese, too!), and just as he stepped into the now almost deserted train, the doors slammed shut behind him.

The three jumped, and were even more shocked when a voice rang throughout the train. "Mwahahahaha… hellooo, everybody. You're destination today: Castle d'Italia. Thank you for your business!

Hayner, Pence, and Olette all looked at each other, frightened out of their wits.

"Uh-oh."

"What's happening?" Olette shrieked, quite frightened.

"You must rescue Cloud," a deep voice said from the back of the train.

"Who?" Pence yelped as the three turned to look at the man in red seated several rows behind them.

"Who are you? Where did you come from?" Hayner shouted, unable to comprehend the man's mysterious appearance.

"This story ends with Cloud," the man muttered darkly, "I am known only as Auron, and I shall be your guide."

"Says who?" Hayner retorted, a fist in the air.

"King Mickey! The ruler of all dark – ahem – that is light!"

"Wait," Olette said, holding up her hand, "Are you talking about Cloud, "Are you talking about Cloud, with the luscious blond spiky hair, the creamy, perfect complexion, and dreamy blue eyes?"

"Your description matches."

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Olette squealed, "I LOVE HIM! I'M HIS BIGGEST FAN! I SAW HIM ON TV THE OTHER DAY AND FAINTED! He's sooooooooooooooo gorgeous! Are we really going to go save him?"

"No," Auron grunted, "I am the faithful bodyguard of Lord Sephiroth and you will serve as bait."

"Bait?" all three young ones gasped together.

"We will use you to draw out Roxas."

* * *

"Achoo!" Cloud sneezed, "I must have gotten some flour up my nose!"


	16. Chapter 14: I AM A BAKER!

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N**: Ok guys, no more lame omelet jokes. I promise. Oh, also, there are some references to Final Fantasy X-2 in here; if you've played the game, you'll understand the point of the scenario a bit better, but really, it doesn't matter at all. **Please enjoy and review!**

**Disclaimer**: We do not own KH, FF, Disney, Naruto, Magical Pokemon Journey, Pokemon in general, Pikachu, Nana, Facebook, or NASCAR.

**Chapter 14: **_**I AM…A BAKER!**_

Meanwhile, Leon and Zexion where stuck somewhere between the 89th and 90th floors of the tallest, darkest tower of the ominous Castle d'Italia.

"Why, of all times, did the elevator have to break down now?" Leon demanded as he checked his Facebook.

Zexion sighed and continued to read the latest volume of Naruto. "Well, I guess this is a good time to catch up on my reading."

"Oooh, is that Volume 525 of Naruto?" Leon exclaimed.

"Yeah, wanna borrow it? I'm finished," Zexion flipped his hair coolly and slammed the book shut.

"Tchyeah," Leon nodded eagerly and took the book from Zexion. "You know, you're cooler than I thought. I think we might just end up being BFFLs."

"Actually, there's a waiting list," Zexion commented casually, reaching for the next volume of Magical Pokemon Journey.

Leon stared. "Uh… and how long would that be?"

"Ah, I've lost count, my friend, just join my Facebook group," Zexion explained, then went back to chuckling at Magical Pokemon Journey.

"So, uh… how are we going to get this elevator fixed?" Leon was quite bored, as Facebook had temporary technical difficulties.

Zexion looked up from his book once more, annoyed. "The neurocarbons have super receptors that detect a disturbance in the magnetic forcefield of – "

"In English?"

"The elevator fixes itself. It shouldn't be too much longer." Zexion went back to his book once more.

"Fine, I guess I'll go make some omelettes… I'm hungry. Hey, man, you got eggs in here?" Leon walked over to the refrigerator and opened the door.

"NOO! NOT PIKACHU! COME BAAAACK!"

"…are you okay, dude?" Leon was a little creeped out, but all hopes he had of this story actually making sense were thoroughly diminished by now…

"WHERE'S THE NEXT VOLUME? WHERE? WHERE?"

"There!" Leon pointed.

"NO IT'S NOT! YOU MEANIE!" Zexion wailed.

"Just read something else. Something juicy. That'll make up for it. Or you could help me make omelets, of course."

"AHA!" Zexion had an idea. He reached inside his coat, rummaged his hand around a bit, then pulled out a volume of _Nana_.

Leon was a little perturbed. "That's attractive…" he looked closer at the cover of the manga Zexi was reading. Leon gasped, his jaw dropping open. "ZEXION!" His eyes were wide.

Zexi peered up from his book. "Yeeeeeeeeeees?" He was giddy from the scandaliciousness of this new graphic novel. Leon snatched the book from him, making Zexion gasp, eyes wide.

"ZEXI! THIS BOOK IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR YOU! Look!" Leon pointed to a little black and white square on the cover. "Explicit content. See?" Leon was proud to have pointed that out.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! LET ME REJOICE IN MY SCANDALICIOUS BLISS WHILE I STILL CAN!" Zexion grabbed the book back and turned away, still reading.

"NO! I CAN'T LIVE WITH MYSELF IF I LET A PURE CHILD'S EYES BE EXPOSED TO THIS… THIS FILTH!" Leon was very dramatically tearing up. He pushed his hair back gracefully.

Zexi peered up at Leon from his juicy book. "Wanna read too?"

Leon plopped himself onto the couch next to Zexion.

"Tchyeaahhh."

* * *

"So, who exactly was Aerith?" Kairi asked, curious.

"The most wonderful girl in the universe," Cloud sighed, seating himself at an empty table in his café. A single tear escaped his left eye.

Sora bit into his loaf of bread, trying to prevent himself from bawling. He chewed thoughtfully, then stopped, surprised. "Hey! This is salty!" he exclaimed, looking at the loaf in his hand.

"…I cry while I bake," Cloud explained sadly, more tears escaping from his eyes. Kairi and Naminé sat themselves next to him, on either side, cooing and patting him on the back.

"Hold on," Riku stated, "Since when do you bake?"

"Eh…? I've been baking all my life!" Cloud answered, blowing his nose on a Café Cloud napkin.

"What?" Sora dropped his loaf of bread on the ground. "No you haven't!"

"Umm… yes I have."

"No, you haven't!" Sora burst out, "I have every trading card ever made featuring Champion Cloud, a NASCAR legend!" Sora cried, reaching into his back pocket and pulling out a pile of trading cards, "LOOK! THIS IS WHO YOU TRULY ARE!"

"NO." Cloud's golden eyes narrowed. "I AM A PEACEFUL BAKER! Now eat!" he commanded, ringing a little bell on his table.

Five mysterious men in waiter's uniforms appeared carrying trays full of covered plates of food.

"You called, Master?" one of the servers, with orange hair, said, bowing to Cloud.

"Have a seat, my friends." He gestured to his audience and then looked at the lead waiter. "Serve them."

"As you command," the orange-haired man bowed again.

Axel's eyes widened in recognition. "Lexaeus!" He pointed to the orange-haired man, "And Xaldin, Xigbar, Saix, and Luxord! What are you doing here?"

"Serving Master Cloud," Lexaeus said coldly, "Please be seated, Axel. Would you like something to drink?"

"Have you all been BRAINWASHED?" Axel cried, slamming his fist on the table in front of him.

"No. We willingly serve Master Cloud," all five waiters replied in unison, their golden eyes glowing.

Cloud smiled evilly.

* * *

Meanwhile, Yuna, Paine, and Rikku were also trying to save Cloud.

*? hours previously*

"Ugh, it's so hot!" Yuna exclaimed, putting down her shovel to wipe her forehead.

"It must be 120 degrees out here," Rikku commented, continuing to dig in the sand.

"Well, that's the desert for you," Paine remarked, widening the hole she was creating. The three girls were out in the dry, hot sand digging for treasure.

"Guys! I think I got something!" Rikku called, waving to the other girls. Paine and Yuna rushed over to look.

"Oooh, open it!" Yuna exclaimed, clapping, referring to the treasure chest in Rikku's hands. Rikku flipped the latch, revealing the chest's contents.

"There's a piece of paper inside!"

"Oooh, joy. Maybe it's another letter of the Al Bhed alphabet," Paine commented dryly.

"Whoooah… you guys, look! It's a note!" Rikku exclaimed.

"Whaa? What's it say?"

"Hmm… the writing's a little shaky and dirty…" Rikku struggled to make sense of the black scrawl, squinting.

"Look… uh… down? It says, I think…" The three scratched their heads, befuddled, yet they followed the note's orders, and peered onto the sandy earth. Rikku looked down into the depths of the chest. It was quite dark…

"Wa – WAH! Yuna! Paine! The bottom of this chest is swirling!" As her two companions rushed closer to her aid, Rikku reached her arm into the chest.

"AHH! IT'S PULLING ME INNNNN! HELP MEEE!"

"Psh, no way… save yourself." Paine started to walk away but Yuna grabbed her wrist and pulled her back.

"How can you say that? This is my cousin's life on the line!" she cried, then, dragging Paine along, jumped on Rikku, trying to release the darkness's grasp on her. In the process, she actually pushed Rikku deeper into the chest, and, before long the three had all been sucked into it, falling into a portal of darkness.

Where would it take them? Hm… Castle d'Italia, perhaps? Oh dearie, dearie, dear…


	17. Chapter 15: Spies in the Sky, Let’s Fly!

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N**: Greetings, all. It has been a long week, but finally, the moment you've been waiting for… THE NEXT CHAPTER OF ORGANIZATION CHEESE!

I know, I know. You are crying tears of happiness right now.

Ok, am I the only one who keeps calling Riku Replica Repliku? No matter what, I keep reading and thinking of his name as Repliku. It just makes sense, darn it!

Some story themes from FFX and X-2 are mentioned in here, but it really doesn't matter much—all the characters were still in KH. =]

ENJOY!

Oh, and I would like some reviews to sprinkle on top of my Café Vanilla Frappucinno Light, no whip please.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Gossip Girl. Or Starbucks. Yuuuum.

**Chapter 15: Spies in the Sky, Let's Fly!**

Yuna, Rikku, and Paine awoke on the floor of an empty white room.

"Owie!" Rikku cried, rubbing her head, "What happened?"

"Well, we got this letter, and then – " Yuna began, but was quickly interrupted by a mysterious, unknown voice.

"You fell through a portal of darkness," A hooded figure approached the female trio. All three gasped. "And you arrived here, in Castle d'Italia."

All three girls gasped again. Yuna pulled out her guns.

"Eat metal, – "

* * *

"*beep*" Sora said spontaneously.

"Sora, nobody said anything," Kairi pointed out.

"I know, but I just got the feeling that somebody in the castle somewhere is swearing," he explained.

* * *

"NOBODY defeats Vexen!" the mysterious stranger cried, "Attack, Riku!"

"Yes, master," Vexen's companion said.

"Riku!" Yuna gasped, "What's going on?"

"Die," Riku commanded, his blade appearing in his hand as Vexen collapsed at the back of the room, knocked out by Yuna's barrage of bullets.

"Riku! Do you work for the organization now?" Rikku exclaimed, surprised.

"Die," the silver-haired boy repeated.

"Riku!" Yuna called, desperate to stop him.

"Riku!"

"Riku, my love!" Paine echoed.

"WOULD YOU GUYS STOP CALLING ME THAT? MY NAME IS REPLIKUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Riku shouted, throwing his weapon onto the ground.

"Repliku?" all three girls chorused, confused.

"Short for Riku Replica. Got it?" Repliku shook his head disgustedly. "That's it. I'm through with this job. I'm going to work as a waiter at Cloud's Café." Repliku turned to leave.

"Wait! What?" Rikku questioned, "Cloud? HERE?"

"Didn't you read that letter?" Repliku turned his head, flipping his hair cooly.

"Umm…," Rikku looked at Yuna and Paine.

Repliku sighed. "Read the letter, airheads."

"Hey!" Yuna called, "I resent that!"

"Just read it." He rolled his eyes.

"Dear YPR," Rikku began, but Paine snatched the letter from her hands, mumbling something about literacy.

"Ahem," Paine cleared her throat, "Dearest YRP. Um… I mean YPR. No, RPY. PRY? Anyways! I need a favor! Could you three, my loyal minions – I mean, dearest friends, use your skills to save Cloud, the epic hero with unparalleled gelling powers? Please? Oh, and could you maybe sing at Queen Minnie's birthday party? She would just die of happiness! Mwahahahah!

Signed, King Mickey," Paine read, "P.S. Your silver haired guide and his creator will lead you to Cloud!"

"Huh." Yuna huffed, putting her hands on her hips, "Well, girls, looks like we've got a new mission on our hands…"

Rikku walked up to Yuna, both of them now squirming with excitement. "WE GET TO GO RESCUE CLOOOOUD!" Rikku shouted. Yuna was taken aback.

"Rikku! NO! WE GET TO SING AT QUEEEN MINNIE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!" She yelled. "WHAAA? Cloud's _totally_ more worth it!"

"—" Yuna was about to continue the argument when Paine interrupted.

"Come on, you guys, we can do both, but we have to get moving first…" Paine's

attempt at peace failed.

"Ohhh, no, hold up…Lemme put in my two cents!" Rikku exclaimed, then continued, "Yuna! Do you know how _dreeeamy_ and _beauuutiful_ Cloud-babe is, with his deep blue eye and amazing, _gravity-defying_ hair? Yunie! This is our chance! We can impress him with our feminine masculinity and snatch him for one of ourselves! You gotta think this over." Rikku was practically pleading.

"Oh, please. I'm just fine with the man I have…"

* * *

Meanwhile, back at Destiny Islands…

—

"Heyyy, maaan…whatchu guys wanna dooo today, yaaa?" Wakka lazed around the beach, and

found himself a nice place to collapse into the sand and sleep.

"Uuugh…I dunno, man, that Gossip Girl marathon last night really wore me out…too

much popcorn. My stomach still feels awful. I can't even eat cheese to make it feel better…" Tidus slugged around the beach near Wakka and followed suit as he collapsed into the sand, unable to hear Wakka mutter, "Pshh…you were too busy _crying_ to eat _popcorn_…"

"Come on, you guys! There are lots of things we can do! We're on a tropical island… can't you just _**feel **_the destiny?" Selphie exclaimed, popping up out of nowhere with a slice of bread and some cheese.

Tidus and Wakka seemed unconvinced. "….the only thing that could make me happy right now is winning a blitzball tournament…ya." Wakka sighed. "The good ol' days…"

"Ah, I tell ya…not knowing who I was, on the verge of disappearance, everyone thinking

me a psycho…oh not to mention killing my father, seeing ghost children…Ah, good times, good times…How I wish I could go back and play a game of blitzball…" Tidus was nostalgically strolling down memory lane.

"Ah, well, we can!" Selphie announced happily.

"And how would _that_ be possible, ya? Nearest stadium's in Luca, and I don't even know where that is anymore…somewhere off in Final Fantasy Land. Can we stick to the World of Kingdom Hearts, ya?" Wakka was sounding more disappointed with every passing moment more that he spoke of blitzball.

"Why, that's easy! We'll FLY!" With that, Selphie lifted her arms in the air and started to rise towards the sky. "Hurry, grab on!"

Soon the triplet was rising up, up, and away, towards a…blitzball stadium (?), emanating sparkles, which floated down in turn to the earth below.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING, MAN?" Wakka yelled as he began to rise unwillingly.

"WE'RE SPARKLING!" Tidus exclaimed, looking around wildly.

"WE'RE FLYING!" Selphie shrieked in delight, soaring through the air.

"HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE, MAN?" Wakka screamed, doing a somersault while defying gravity.

"I sprinkled pixie dust on you," a young woman with golden eyes and long black hair, wearing an equally dark outfit, explained calmly, floating up next to the group.

"PIXIE!"

"DUST?"

"WHAT?" the boys exclaimed in unison.

"Guys, this is my BFF Tifa!" Selphie giggled and flew up next to the boys, "She's here to take us on a grand adventure, right?"

"Right!" Tifa smiled widely, "Since I'm done delivering invitations now, I can give you guys THIS!" She pulled out a small letter with a flourish. The letter was addressed to Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie. "Go ahead, open it, Tidus."

Tidus took the letter, looking at Tifa suspiciously. He admired the wax seal on the back before ripping the envelope open and reading aloud, "Dearest underlings *ahem* friends," Tidus began, frowning. "I have received word that something extraordinary has happened to your associate and fellow undercover operative Cloud."

"Gasp!" Tidus, Wakka, and Selphie all gasped. "How does he know our true selves? We never reveal our real names to our employers!" Selphie squealed, waving her hands in the air.

"Our identities have been compromised!" Wakka exclaimed, shaking a fist.

"Do not worry. Master Mickey, His Majesty, the Ruler of all Worlds, knows all and will guide you toward the light," Tifa reassured the group, her eyes glowing a particularly startling shade of gold. They looked almost… radioactive.

Tidus looked at her weirdly. "Anyways…" Tidus continued reading the letter, "Cloud has been taken to the top floor of the darkest, tallest tower of Castle d'Italia. His retrieval will require the work of highly trained, specialized agents. Therefore, I would like to enlist your services."

"GASP!" the trio uttered again, looking at each other in disbelief.

"Cloud's been captured?" Wakka roared, "FOOL!"

"IMBECILE!"

"MORON!"

"Poor baby!" Selphie interrupted Wakka and Tidus's Cloud-insulting-spree, "We have to save him! Keep reading!"

"Hmph." Tidus reluctantly continued reading, "I will compensate you beyond your wildest dreams if you journey to the forbidden Castle d'Italia. Tifa, my loyal servant, will guide you to the hidden castle and through its twisted hallways using the information I have provided her with. This mission is of the highest priority and utmost confidentiality. I look forward to seeing you soon. Luv, King Mickey."

"We have to do it, guys," Selphie pleaded, "Come on! We've been sitting on this island for weeks without any missions. When was the last time we had a job? And infiltrating a _forbidden castle_! How cool is that?"

"Pretty cool, man," Wakka agreed, nodding his head.

"Hmm… well, I guess this is better than our last mission. Taking down Ansem from behind the scenes while leading Sora and the rest of the world to believe _he_ defeated Ansem was a lot of work for no glory," Tidus mused, rubbing his chin. "Ok! I mean, the King is a pretty cool guy to work for! And he sure knows how to do things in style!"

"Yeah! Remember when he ordered us to unleash a swarm of 10,000 heartless on Hollow Bastion? That was pretty cool, man," Wakka reminisced fondly.

"So was infiltrating the Castle that Never Was! Xemnas was a real cutie. It hurt my heart to… gah! I can't even speak of it. Well, you know what happened to Xemnas," Selphie added.

"He didn't live to become whole…" Tidus said sadly.

"And it's all our fault!" Selphie cried, tears welling up in her eyes, "And then Sora and his gorgeous friend Riku get all the credit for bringing him down!"

All three started crying hysterically.

"Aww, you guys! Don't worry! Xemnas and the rest of the Organization have all been resurrected!" Tifa consoled the trio, patting Selphie on the back tenderly.

"WHAT?" The three whipped their heads up, stopping mid-tear.

"It's true! Everybody is in Castle d'Italia right now! Come on, I'll take you there!" Tifa offered, holding out a hand.

"Ok," Tidus agreed, "But one thing before we go."

The trio looked at each other and smiled evilly.


	18. Mistaken Seagulls, Ninja Freefalls

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N**: Hello all! What a wonderful day it's been! I've gotten so much work done, and it is so nice outside! Plus I raided the clearance isles at Target! Ah, the little things in life.

I CAN'T BELIEVE we are already up to the 18th installment! This is crazy! Hopefully we will try to get the next chapter up for you awesome readers (all eight of you…) early this week. Just a preview: It is going to be EPIC. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME CHEESINESS?

Ah! But there's a catch! YOU MUST REVIEW! PLEASE! I EAT REVIEWS! AND I'M STARVING! So please fuel my inspiration for continuing on with the scandaliciousness of Organization Cheese.

Thank you. Have a feta-ful day!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Gossip Girl, Final Fantasy, Monopoly, Boardwalk, or any of their affiliations.

**Chapter 16: **_**Mistaken Seagulls, Ninja Freefalls…**_

Half an hour later (Tidus took forever gelling his hair), Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka were all dressed and ready to go, in full spy gear. Each was dressed from head to toe in black (Wakka even dyed his hair black, "To conceal my compromised identity," he claimed), donning mirrored sunglasses. Selphie was wearing a stylish black trenchcoat and had painted her nails black. The three even had matching utility belts, equipped as any true undercover operative would be. Tidus sported a small black backpack containing the necessary rations and Wakka had three blitzballs of doom strapped onto his back.

"Ready, boys?" Selphie asked, smiling evilly.

Tidus and Wakka looked at each other, a glint in their eyes, speaking at the same time.

"Ready!"

* * *

"Are we _there_ yet?" Wakka was growing quite tired of seeing nothing but mountains for hours.

"No." Tifa surveyed the area below, zooming by, as they were flying 300 mph. (That was some strong pixie dust.)

"Come ooooon, yaaaa, I'm bored…." Wakka complained once again.

"Wakka, how can you be bored? We're flying!" Selphie exclaimed happily.

"We're here, guys!" Tifa called out to the rest of the pack.

"Aw, you don't have to give us false hope." Tidus assured her, seeming a bit down.

"Nah, we're really here." Tifa replied.

"I told you: **Stop it**!" Tidus was really getting annoyed.

"No, really." Tifa was very perturbed—did they think she was brainwashed or something?

"I know! Let's play I Spy to pas our time!" Selphie was eager to change the subject and tension in the atmosphere.

"Okay…I spy….CASTLE D'ITALIA! LANDING IN APPROXIMATELY .05375673846267 minutes!" Tifa yelled, trying to get her point across.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?" The three spies wailed in unison, taken aback in surprise.

"5…" Tifa started the countdown.

"WHAT DO WE DOOOO?" Tidus was freaking out.

"Just cooly air-somersault to your doom in a ninja-esque way. Your girlfriend will be quite impressed. 4..." Tifa was quite calm.

"WHAAAAAAAAA? YUNIE BABY IS HEEEEERE? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL MEEEE?" Tidus was shedding tear drops, but you couldn't notice because they were moving so fast they were left behind midair.

"3…What? I thought you'd be happy!" Tifa chimed in.

"NOOOOO…..SHE CAN'T SEE ME LIKE THIS! SHE DOESN'T KNOW I'M MICKEY'S SECRET MINION! AND MY HAIR IS JUST DISASTROUSLY WINDBLOWN!" Tidus was quite imagining things, as he had previously applied so much hair gel that his luscious bleach blonde locks were fastened in place and could not move at all.

"2…" Tifa continued with the countdown, as Tidus fainted, now flying unconsciously. Wakka just about lost one of his blitzballs of doom as he yelped in shock.

"YAAAA, TIDUS, WAKE UP MAN, YAAAAAA! YAAAAAA! YAAAAAAA! WE'VE GOT 1.34092373457698472425604 SECONDS LEFT MAN! YOU CAN'T DIE LIKE THIS! I _**NEED**_ YOU TO WIN THE BLITZBALL TOURNAMENT!"

"Oh, I didn't know there were seagulls up this high…." Selphie looked around curiously.

"1…"

"**Oh. Man.** This is _not_ going to be gooood, yaaa…." Wakka braced for the worse as the three got into ninja somersault position, Tidus being held limply in Wakka's arm.

"LANDING EMMINENT. ATTENTION. LANDING. LANDING. I REPEAT. WE. ARE. GOING. TO. LAND. AGAIN, WE ARE L.A.N.D.I.N.G. LAAAANDIII—" Tifa clearly stated.

"Okay, lady, we get the picture, ya!" Wakka at least wanted to die without a loud repetitive voice in his ear.

Thus, the odd group of…super ninja spies descended to the earth below, where Castle d'Italia eagerly(?) awaited them.

* * *

Leon and Zexion had been playing Monopoly for a while when suddenly, the elevator shook and began moving, knocking the pieces on the board to the ground.

"Gah! Where was that hotel? What property was I on?" Zexion exclaimed, pulling at his hair.

"Nice try, punk. You were in jail, remember?" Leon commented dryly as Zexion scowled.

"I was SO close to buying Boardwalk, you just had to – "

"It's not my fault you rolled doubles three times in a row." Leon shrugged and proceeded to count his money, "I'd say this game is pretty much over."

"NEVER!" Zexion cried, "I can still make a comeback!"

"Dude, I've earned $60,892 off of you. You're done." Leon started to pick up the pieces that had rolled onto the floor and put them back into the box (they were, not surprisingly, playing a very rare version of The Castle that Never Was Monopoly). However, he looked up thoughtfully, disturbed.

"Hey, Zex?" he inquired.

"Yeah?" Zexion replied as he put away the board.

"Why is the elevator going _down_?"

* * *

Rikku jabbed at the elevator button, frustrated. "Why is it taking so loooooooooooong, Yunie! Paine! Make it go faster!"

Paine just ignored Rikku and crossed her arms over her chest, leaning against a wall, exuding a stoic aura of coolness. She was quite bored now that she had taken care of Vexen, who was lying unconscious on the floor next to her. Vexen had tried to put up a fight when the three girls decided to follow Repliku to the top of the darkest, tallest tower in Castle d'Italia. Let's just say his determination didn't last very long.

"Yuuuniiiiiiiiiiiiie," Rikku whined, "Paaaaaaaaaai – "

"QUIET," Repliku demanded, irritated. He rubbed his forehead, wishing fervently that he had ignored Mickey's request and applied for employment at Cloud Café weeks ago. "The elevator takes a while, ok? It should be here in about three seconds! Have some patience, woman!"

"But – "

Rikku's complaint was cut off by a soft 'ding!' from the elevator in front of them. The silver metallic doors opened to reveal…..

"OMG," Yuna gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

"GAH!" Rikku covered her eyes.

Paine just snorted.

Repliku squealed, "Is that GOSSIP GIRL?"

"SHHH," Leon and Zexion said simultaneously, returning their attention to the 52" TV before them, snacking on popcorn.

"Hurry! It just started!" Zexion beckoned at the quartet still staring from outside the elevator doors.

"Yunie, I'm scared!" Rikku cried, burying her head in Yuna's shoulder.

"There, there, it'll be alright," Yuna soothed, patting Rikku's head.

"GUYS! Let's go! I want to catch this episode!," Repliku said, and then, startled, yelled, "HURRY THE DOORS ARE CLOSING!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Paine yelled, unwilling to be stuck down in the basement with these weirdos and without something to kill any longer. She dived, ninja-style, through the closing elevator doors, rolling on the ground and then returning to her feet in a quick flip.

"Umm… I could just press the open door button," Zexion remarked, pointing the TV remote towards the elevator doors and pushing a tiny button. The doors began to open again.

"Whatever," Paine commented, sitting on the couch next to Zexion and Leon. "Scooch over."

Rikku, Yuna, and Repliku entered the elevator. Rikku and Yunna ooohed and awwwed over the contents of the spacious elevator, while Repliku just hopped over the back of the couch and seated himself next to Paine.

"WHAT DID I MISS?" he demanded fervently.

"Chill, dude," Leon reassured, "We can always rewind. We were only five minutes into this ep, anyways."

"Oh…"

"Yeah, we found this Gossip Girl DVD underneath the cushions. It was like someone was trying to hide it… and it has this weird pink goo on the cover…" Zexion pointed to the DVD on the coffee table in front of him.

Repliku sniffed the DVD on the table. "Hmmm, it smells like hair gel…" he mused.


	19. Chapter 17: The Button

**Organization Cheese**

Author's Note: Hello all!!! How are you on this fabulous morning?!?! I'm doing…fabulous! Anyway, THE MOMENT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR: **THE CLIMAX OF ORGANIZATION CHEESE**! Yes, I will personally say that I think this chapter is the wackiest, funniest, and most _scandalicious_ one yet. Please enjoy, and REVIEW!!! You shy readers hiding out there, I KNOW YOU'RE THERE! Please review! It means the world to _ilovefetamorethanyou_ and I! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat some feta cheese.

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Uggs, Gossip Girl, and oh my, that is it this chapter! Amazing, right?

**Chapter 17: **_**THE BUTTON**_

Yuffie whistled in amazement. "Oooh, Leon's got some 'splainin' to doo!"

"That's _right_, he does!" Axel confirmed, cracking his knuckles.

"Right, because Yuffie had nothing to do with it…" Cid remarked, while chewing happily on his ham and cheese croissant.

"Gasp!" Yuffie gasped. "Of course I didn't! It—" Yuffie would have babbled on endlessly, but fortunately, a '_ding_!' could be heard in the distance outside Cloud's café.

"Oop! There's the next batch of seaweed muffins with melted feta on top! Ah! Gotta run!" Cloud had gotten out of his seat, hankie in hand, when one of his waiters butted in.

"Uh…I think that was the elevator, sir…"

"Oh! Right! The oven's in the elevator after all, right?" Cloud sparkled even in his moments of brainlessness. Had those cheese fumes gotten to his head? Hmmm…

"Teehee! BrB, peeps!" Cloud skipped away, but his fuzzy pink Ugg slippers got stuck on the threshold and he landed splat on his face, unconscious.

"AHHH!" Kairi and Naminé jumped from their seats, sprinting over to Cloud's lifeless body. "Poor thing…" The two coo'ed over Cloud as they tried to sit him upright.

Yuffie stomped up to them and interjected. "LOOK at you people! Squealing over some measly blonde 'baker'?! Have some dignity!!!" Yuffie huffed and turned around, but while she was expressing her opinion, all the employees of _Cloud Café_ had ganged up beside her in an ominous wall of black-cloaked waiters.

"EEeeeeekkk!" She squealed.

"You did _not_ just call Cloud a blonde baker." Laxaeus stated calmly.

"Uhh, I think she _just_ did, because…he _is_. Can we please get on with the story?" Riku said bluntly.

"YOU." Laxaeus twirled around and pointed his gloved finger straight at Riku. "YOU WILL PAY."

Riku snorted. "Cash or check?"

"DARK CHOCOLATE!!!" The intimidating waiter's voice boomed throughout the café.Suddenly, the atmosphere grew dark (it's scandal time). Laxaeus stood up tall and stretched his powerful arms up and out. "ATTACK……." He then pulled his arms towards his chest and crossed them. "DEATH BY DARK CHOCOLATE!!!" A huge dark mass of brown…stuff materialized behind him, and it began to shape into…rectangular nuggets as it was hurled in midair toward Riku.

Riku braced for the worst, just as Yuffie escaped the waiters' defense, leaping in front of Riku screaming, "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" . And she was down.

The whole party rushed over to Yuffie's side as she lay on the floor, weakened.

"Yuffie…_why_?!" Riku was shocked that this recent comrade he "barely knew" had taken a chocolate hit for him. It was…touching.

"Riku!" Yuffie reached up to touch his face, weakened. "I…always liked you better….better than Leon!"

"GAAAAAAAAAAASP!!!!!!" The whole crowd gasped—even Lexaeus.

"Oh, Yuffie! Don't let it be too late!!!" Riku wailed, cosseting Yuffie's hand.

"Oh, don't worry," Yuffie assured him. "I'm coming back in a few paragraphs!" The majority of the group gave a sigh of relief that the authors haven't taken a fancy to killing off the characters.

"EEEEEEeeeeek!" Suddenly a god-awful wretched shriek echoed across the whole floor, and probably many more below. Rikku was running towards the still-collapsed Cloud after spotting him as she left the elevator's comfy domain (the rest were all caught up in the juicy Gossip Girl episode).

She spontaneously stopped midstep to look to her side. "_Woooahhhh_… What's that do?!" Rikku pointed, awestruck, at a large, round, red button labeled, '**DO NOT PRESS**. Will set off alarm. Will go off automatically if aliens arrive or intruders attempt conquest. Thank you for resisting. Have a nice day. Be gone on your merry way. NO! **DO NOT TOUCH!**' It had quite a large plaque next to it where all this was written.

The rest of the café visitors and staff walked over to examine the spectacle that was occurring.

"Rikku! Don't do it!" Yuna ran out of the elevator.

"_Sniff._" Marluxia sniffed from behind Naminé. "_Sniff sniff sniff_. _SNIFFFF_!"

"OKAY, Marluxia! You're making my hair frizz!" Naminé shouted, annoyed.

"HALT. I smell…"

"_Cheese_?" Larxene commented facetiously.

"No."

"Whaat? No cheese?!" Roxas exclaimed.

"No. I smell—"

"_Mmm_, popcorn…" Riku's mouth was watering.

"Yes. But no. I SMELL…"

"TELL US ALREADY!" The whole lot shouted.

"**BEAUTIFUL!!!!!**" Marluxia _whoosh-_ed his hair, rose petals fluttering down to the floor.

Everyone's mouths hung open in awe of Marluxia's conceitedness.

"Oh, but that's beside the point," he continued.

"I smell…" The atmosphere grew tense once again. You could hear a pin drop, if only Sora's stomach would stop grumbling.

"_**Hair gel**__."_

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAASP!" The whole room gasped.

"And, more specifically…_**my **__hair gel_."

"YAAAAAAHHHHH!" They all would have fainted, but for the sake of progressing the story, the party all stayed on its feet.

"Let us examine the crime scene." Marluxia overdramatized as he led the group over to the open elevator doors…

As the elevator occupants all jumped out of their seats after realizing there was a group of ten to twenty people outside, the drama began. Zexion even paused Gossip Girl (now _this_ is serious).

"THIS is where my DVD went!" Roxas yelled as he stepped forward, keyblade drawn.

"I swear, we didn't do anything!" Repliku protested.

"AHH!!! It's the other ME! AGAIN!" Riku drew his weapon as well.

"Hold it, Riku. We need to punish the real criminal here. SQUALL LEONHART. You OWE ME BIG TIME, MISTER! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS!" Axel started flaming.

The fangirls of the party (including Sora), were still squealing, "Clloooud!"

Leon gasped, taken aback. But he wasn't focused on Axel. "…Naminé?!"

"Naminé?!" Yuffie repeated harshly, hands on her hips, quite offended. She had gotten up from her near-death experience and limped over there.

Then a loud 'screech' started going off all throughout the castle.

"INTRUDER ALERT. INTRUDER ALERT. ALIENS CRASH-LANDING. CASTLE D'ITALIA MUST BE EVACUATED IMMEDIATELY. I REPEAT—"

"Ohh—"

"*BEEP*"

And then, the castle went dark.

Chaos.

"NAMINÉ!"

"RIKU!"

"KAIRI!"

"AXELLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!"

"ROXY!"

"YUNIIIIIIIE PAAIIIIIIIIIIIIINE I SWEAR I DIDN'T PRESS IT!"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU."

"WHY DID YOU LIE ABOUT MY DVD?"

"NOOOOOOOO I'M MISSING GOSSIP GIRL!"

"NAMINÉ I LOVE YOU."

"NO I LOVE NAMINÉ!"

"_NO_, I DO!"

"I LOVED NAMINÉ FIRST!"

"**No, I LOVE NAMINÉ**."

The entire group gasped at the bold, unfamiliar voice, unable to see through the darkness.

"ALIENS ARE DESCENDINGGG!" Sora shrieked, "RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!! I'll get the Gummi Ship going!"

"**HALT**," the ominous voice boomed, and the group fell silent. Then, they heard a snap, and the lights went back on.

"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sora cried, and fainted.

"Lord Sephiroth," Xaldin, Xigbar, Lexaeus, Luxord, and Saix uttered in unison, bowing, "How may we serve you?"

"His _highness_ is here. He thinks he's so much more beautiful than me," Marluxia whispered conspiratorially to Axel. Axel nodded sympathetically.

"_Sephy_," Roxas hissed, alarmed and angry.

"SEPHY!" Cloud woke suddenly and cried amicably, "Have a biscotti!"

"It's Sephiroth!" Yuffie squealed, and fainted (once again).

"SEPHY _BABY_!" Naminé cried, and rushed up to Sephiroth, twining his long silver hair in her fingers and jumping about three feet in the air to give him a smooch.

The only sound to be heard in the room was a collective gasp as Demyx fell to the floor in a dead faint, the words _I Love Naminé_ glittering on his behind.

"You'll _pay_ for this," Leon growled, pulling his gunblade out from behind his back.

The entire party assumed battle stances, ready to attack at any moment, weapons out, senses heightened, their previous arguments forgotten.

Then, their concentration was broken by the shattering of glass.

The immense window behind Sephiroth, one of the many which lined the café, fell to pieces as a group of three super ninja spies crashed through, dressed head-to-toe in black, weapons at the ready and aimed at Lord Sephiroth.

"We'll take it from here," a girlish voice emanated from behind the black hood of the central figure, brandishing a pure silver nunchuck, ready to strike.

"Everyone back away, ya," an accented voice issued from underneath the hood of the man standing to the girl's left, his blitzballs of doom poised for a death strike.

"Get in the elevator, or the girl dies." Everyone turned in shock to look at the third black-clad figure, face also hidden by a hood, who had crashed through, now holding Naminé hostage. He had floated over while the other two distracted the group and Sephiroth, grabbing Naminé around the waist and pulling her toward the side, large sword placed at her throat.

Demyx whimpered from his position on the floor while Leon put away his weapon and held his hands in the air.

"Aliens…" Sora whispered as he awoke, rubbing his eyes, "I dreamed of aliens…"

"IN THE ELEVATOR, NOW," the girl's voice commanded, surprisingly harsh and shrill as she whipped her nunchuck around, "Except for you, Sephy. We need _you_ alive." She laughed evilly.

Everyone slowly backed into the elevator, thoroughly confused and not quite sure what was going on, only knowing that letting this mysterious stranger kill Naminé was probably _not_ a good idea. Once the twenty-odd characters had arranged themselves comfortably within the elevator, the nunchuck-wielding female walked over and pressed the down button, laughing.

"So long, suckers." She giggled when she heard the screams as the elevator plummeted down 100 stories at high-speed.

"Where were we?" she asked, pulling down her hood and revealing the face of – GASP! – Selphie, the once peaceful islander girl. "Oh yes. We're here to save Cloud. Where is he?"

Sephy just pointed towards the elevator doors.

"Oh…" Selphie looked queasy.

"*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*" could be heard echoing from the elevator chute.


	20. Chapter 18: Plan 4526890234

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N**: Hello everybody! First off, _ilovefetacheese_ and I would like to thank all of you for reading and reviewing! It really makes our day! We are inspired to write when we know people are enjoying our work :) On that note, please enjoy the latest chapter of _Organization Cheese_!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own KH, Covergirl, Gossip Girl, Uggs, Monopoly, or Sudoku.

_**Chapter 18: Plan 4526890234**_

Luckily, the elevator got stuck again somewhere in between 89th and 90th floors of the tallest, darkest tower of the ominous Castle d'Italia.

Soo, this buys time for our fellow comrades riding a certain train to catch up in this flurry of cheesy madness.

"Huh? Roxas? Hmm…that name sounds familiar…" Olette scoured through her memories, trying to figure out where she had heard this name before…

"Y'know, Olette, you may be right…GAHHHHH. THIS IS KILLING ME!" Pence was leaning on his knees, head resting in his hands. Hayner was racking his mind as well to remember this Roxas.

"You all do not remember Roxas? What a shame…" Auron shook his head.

The three looked up at him hopefully.

"Well, maybe it's better you don't remember: before he…_moved away_, you all made fun of him for having such luscious and long eyelashes…worthy of a Covergirl, by the way! You all dressed him up as an Elizabethan baroness as well. _Sigh._ Kids these days…"

"Ohhh…._that_ nerdy kid? Ha, Hayner, remember when you pushed him off the clock tower? That went a little too far…" These…_enjoyable_ memories were all rushing back to the three. "Yeahhh!" Hayner replied. "And we started that rumor at school that he could get drunk off of cheese? Tch, what a dweeb…"

"Sob…" Olette was bent over once more, tears falling from her eyes. "You guys…are so mean…the poor kid…you treated him like…like a NOBODY!"

Before Auron heard more teenage scandliciousness that he really rather wouldn't, he silenced the three. "SILENCE. I AM RECEIVING MESSAGES FROM ABOVE." Auron pressed his finger to his ear.

Hayner was taken aback. "You mean…ALIENS?"

"Shut it, kid."

Auron shut his eyes. "Fetadoyoureadme. Yesthisisreddragon. No. Feta. No. Gouda. No. Yes. NO. Sea-salt. Yes, 2 medium pizzas with feta and spinach, the other gorgonzola and mushroom. Whaat? I'm not paying that much. Hmm. Omelets. Yes. I understand. No Roxas…What? Super ninja spies? Dark chocolate. I see. Gossip Girl. By-the-way, what happened last episode? There's no TV on this train. Pink Uggs? Naminé? Revenge. Beep? Oh my. I see. Will carry out Plan 4526890234. No worries. Yes I know what that is. Yes I'm sure. Okay. WAIT. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS. Oh. You mean plan A? Oh. B. Whatev. I just swing my sword around either way. Okay. Okay. Yes. Peppercorn cheddar. Got it. See you soon, feta."

By now, Hayner, Pence, and Olette were sitting in a circle playing _Final Fantasy X-opoly_, which they had found under Auron's seat.

"Okay. Young ones. I have news."

"Hmm?" Olette looked up once she had finished her turn, not very interested.

"You guys are no longer Roxas' bait."

"Phew! Thank goodness! I didn't know what to say if I had to face him again!" Hayner was relieved.

"That's your problem, grasshopper. NOW—Now, you will be…"

The three held their breath, not knowing what to expect. Auron smiled slightly evilly.

_"The main attraction."_

* * *

"So now what?" Paine asked, bored out of her mind as she watched everybody stare at each other. She rolled her eyes when she saw the scowls, dirty looks, and glares on the faces of Leon, Yuffie, Axel, Roxas, Riku, and Repliku. Yuffie wanted an explanation for the "Naminé Incident," Axel was ready to roast Leon for the "fanletter fiasco," Leon was teary-eyed from his discovery that Naminé already had a man (or rather, many men), Roxas wanted his DVD back and an apology from Marluxia, and Riku and Repliku were very uncomfortable being in each other's presence.

Let's deal with these situations one at a time, shall we?

Yuffie and Axel were both poised and ready for battle, each one summoning his or her weapon. Yuffie twirled a massive throwing star on one finger while Axel spun his flaming chakrams around. Unfortunately, this set off the elevator's fire alarm, causing the sprinklers to go off and everyone to get drenched.

Unfortunately, it also caused the elevator to start falling again. Everyone in the elevator started shrieking as Sora proceeded to crawl and hide under the desk.

Fortunately, it got stuck between the 79th and 78th floors.

"*beep* it, you *beep*!" Riku and Repliku exclaimed in unison, calling Axel a nasty name, and then shot each other dirty glares. Neither wanted to be associated with the other.

"You *beep*!" they called each other (with the help of Sora's censoring) simultaneously. Both boys growled and summoned their weapons, Riku brandishing the Way to Dawn while Repliku was armed with Soul Eater.

"Great, now we're all wet." Leon sighed, tired of this ridiculous situation already.

"And now I'm steaming," Axel cried, angry. Actually, not only was he 'steaming' mad, but he was, quite literally, _steaming_. His fire, put out by the sprinklers, was filling the room with a gray cloud.

"Guys! This is no time for fighting!" Kairi exclaimed, "Naminé's in trouble!"

Somewhere off in the corner of the elevator, Demyx started crying.

"Awww, there there now," Rikku crooned, patting the devastated Demyx on the back, "Don't worry! Cloud will rescue her!"

"Are you referring to the Cloud that is currently trapped within this elevator along with the rest of you buffoons?" Zexion asked calmly, not even looking up from the Sudoku puzzle he was solving.

"…" There was a brief moment of silence while everyone looked at each other.

"Oh," Rikku muttered, realizing that they were in a quite hopeless situation.

Suddenly, Cloud snapped his fingers. "Lexaeus," he commanded, "bring me my Buster Sword."

"Yes, Master," Lexaeus bowed, and proceeded to pull a particular blue book from the bookshelf.

"Hey!" Roxas cried, "That's my diary!"

Before Lexaeus could reply, the book shelf swung around, and Lexaeus disappeared into a secret passageway.

"Could someone please explain to me why there's a secret passageway in an _elevator_?" Paine rolled her eyes again, ready to believe anything at this point.

"This is no _mere_ elevator," a deep, ancient, wise voice declared, filling the room with vibrant words.

"Gasp!" Everyone gasped, except Demyx, who continued to bawl.

"It is I, Ansem! Ruler of all darkness!" the voice declared from nowhere, this statement causing everyone to look around wildly. "Actually, I just really always wanted to say that."

"ANSEM?" Everyone except Marluxia exclaimed, going into battle poses and summoning weapons.

"No, just me," Marluxia sighed and flipped his hair, "I was practicing my 'ominous' voice."

_Everyone_ glared at him.

"I just wanted to lighten the mood. You guys are so boooring. And so much less beautiful than me."

"I beg to differ," Zexion said calmly from his position on the couch, "I do believe my hair is far more glorious than yours. Plus, you stink of hair gel."

"_And_ you're a liar!" Roxas cried, jumping in place for emphasis, "Why'd you do it, Marluxia? It's clear from the disgusting pink hair gel all over this DVD that you hid it here!"

"I never said I _didn't_ hide it," Marluxia explained snootily.

"You said you gave it to the mysterious stranger," Axel chimed in.

"I did."

"You didn't!"

"_I did!_"

"_No, you didn't!_"

"Yes, actually, I did"

"No, you – "

"He _did_, you ignorant imbeciles," Cloud cut in sharply, unable to stand it anymore. "He gave it to me, and I _framed him_."

* * *

"Talk, Sephy. What's your aim? Why did you kidnap Cloud?"

"Hmph," Sephiroth merely hmphed, smiling slightly. His golden eyes glowed as he took in the situation, exuding arrogance as he adjusted his silky silver hair so it fell in a perfect position.

"Talk or the girl dies," Tidus threatened, putting pressure on the sword against Naminé's neck, causing her to whimper.

"Hmph." Sephiroth smiled once again, unfazed by the threat. Selphie narrowed her eyes.

"Tifa, sprinkle him with pixie dust. You know how it's toxic to these evil beings," Selphie spat, whipping her nunchuck furiously to accentuate her words.

A few moments passed. "Tifa?" Selphie questioned nervously, unwilling to look away from Sephiroth, afraid he might make a move if she let her concentration slip for even a minute. "TIFA!" she barked, angry now.

"Uh, Selphie?" Wakka interrupted uneasily, "I don't think Tifa followed us in, ya?"

"Quiet, buffoon! Why wouldn't she follow? Doesn't she want in on the action?" Selphie yelled frantically, "Where could she have gone?"

* * *

Hayner looked up suddenly when he heard a sharp rap on the window behind him. He, Olette, and Pence looked behind them to see a black-haired girl floating outside, holding on to a decorative ridge in order to stay with the train. Olette gasped, unable to believe her eyes.

"There's a girl out there!" Pence cried, pointing.

"So there is," Auron said calmly, unsurprised.

"What are we going to – OMG DUCK!" Olette squealed as she, Hayner, and Pence lunged out of their seats, onto the floor, into rolling somersaults as the mysterious girl outside the train punched the window with a mighty force. Glass shattered and fell all around the trio of teenagers as they covered their head and eyes with their arms, and the strange girl dived into the train, flipping gracefully in the air, landing on her feet with a _crunch_ as she crushed some glass shards under her feet.

"Hey, Red Dragon. How've ya been?" she asked lightly, unfazed by her landing in the train.

"Bored," Auron replied, yawning, "This story is a little too much about Cloud and not enough about me. And these teenagers are immature and _irritating_."

"Hey!" Hayner cried, offended, "That's mean!"

"Deal with it, dude," Auron replied indifferently.

"Well, Red Dragon, things are about to get a _lot_ more interesting," the strange girl with the long black hair and eyes as brilliant a shade of gold as Auron's declared. Auron merely raised an eyebrow. She turned towards the three teens on the ground. "You see, I have a very… _special_… invitation for you three."


	21. Chapter 19: Beware Master Cloud

**Organization Cheese**

A/N: Hello and Happy Halloween (1 day late!)!!! How is everybody on this fine afternoon? You know, I could really use a frappucinno right now… oh well, guess I'll eat feta instead!

Well, please read and review! We would really appreciate it! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: We do not own KH, FF, GG, or the frappucinno I wish I were drinking right now.

_**Chapter 19:**__**Beware Master Cloud**_

"An invitation?! How sweet!" Olette clasped her hands together and smiled a charming smile of charmCOUGHOMELETTESCOUGH…

Hayner took a step back. Squinting his eyes as if he was actually thinking, he said suspiciously, "**Huh**. What _kind _of invitation? I'm not sure what way to take this, considering we were bait 5 minutes ago…"

Tifa looked offended. "Whaat?! Why, I have invitations to a—"

"Buffet?" Pence asked hopefully.

"Masquerade?!" Olette exclaimed dreamily.

"No, fools, the _Aerith on Ice: A Tribute_ concert!" Hayner fantasized.

"No, sillies, I have invitations to a—"

The three youngsters held their breath, keeping their hopes up.

All of a sudden, the train sped through a tunnel, plummeting the group in darkness. When the light returned, Tifa was gone (She couldn't give away the plot that quickly—we're only twenty chapters in).

* * *

"You're a LIAR!" Roxas shrieked again.

"AH! MY PANTS ARE ON FIRE!" Marluxia screamed.

"Marluxia, you're not wearing any pants." Axel snickered, as he had intentionally emitted enough heat from his hair follicles to dry Marluxia's cloak while he and Roxas were arguing, then sprouted a single flame from his chakram until it caught on to Marluxia's garment.

"AHHH!!!! DON'T SAY THAT!!! AHHH!!!!!!" Marluxia was running around in circles, trying to cease the flame. Finally, the sprinklers on the ceiling went off once again, giving everyone yet another shower, and putting out the flame on what remained of Marluxia's cloak. It had left his undergarments exposed, which read "I love Naminé" on his derrier.

"GAAAAASSP!!!!" The whole group gasped, except Demyx, who only bawled more ferociously, being reminded of his love.

Suddenly the elevator started descending once again at top speed.

Marluxia glanced all around the room, looking about ready to burst into tears. In just a second he dashed into the secret passageway that the bookshelf had opened to, where Lexaeus was currently doing….something…..

"NO!!!! My diary's in there!!!!" Roxas yelled, then ran after Marluxia.

Riku followed, skipping gleefully, shouting "Yes! My chance for escape! *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEP* YOU GUYS!!!!"

Yuffie looked at Leon, then at the dark hollow entrance. "Heh, heh…revenge." She ninja-rolled into the darkness, exclaiming, "I'm coming, Riku, my love!!!"

"Huh? Did someone say Rikku? I'm coooming!" Rikku then followed the other dumbos into the secret passageway.

"Rikku! Wait!" Yuna started to run after her, but the elevator suddenly jammed to a stop once again, causing enough of a disturbance and bump to slam the bookshelf back in place, closing the passageway, stranding the others between the 67th and 68th floors.

"*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!*" Sora censored, still hiding under the desk from aliens.

* * *

Marluxia, panting, was running through this long, dark hallway, oblivious to the fact that he was followed by Roxas, who was unaware that he was being followed by Riku, who was unaware that he was being stalked by Yuffie, who didn't know that Rikku had thought she had heard her name come from Yuffie's being, therefore following her as well.

None of them knew where they were going, only away from the steamy climax of _Organization Cheese_, extending the story at least another five chapters.

Finally Marluxia stopped midstep, quite frankly because he had run into something very large. "AHH MY GORGONZOLA!!!!" Lexaeus screamed.

"EEK!!!" Marluia shrieked.

"What are you doing here, Marluxia?"

"I—I'm _ohhh_, Lexaeus, I need a hug! It was terrible!!!!!! I feel so….not beautiful!!!" Marluxia started wailing until he was knocked to the floor by Roxas who had head-butted into him unknowingly. Then came along Riku, who just tripped and landed on top of the two. Yuffie, then, running into a considerable tall barricade now, was practically flipped over onto the floor, but landed on top of Riku as well (which she didn't mind)…

"WAHHH!!!!" The whole group was yelling from the pain of their injuries, which would turn into pretty nasty bruises the next day, if they lived until then (hmm...).

"EEEEEK!!!!!" Rikku, who was only searching for the person who had called her name, mistook the wails for other-worldly voices. "ALIEEENNNNSSSS!!!! SORA WAS RIGHT!!!!!" Until she ran into the huge stack of people, ending up on the top of the tower.

"Owww," Roxas moaned, rubbing his forehead, "That hurt."

"Well, you shouldn't have headbutted me! Now get off me! You're ruining my hair!" Marluxia commanded.

"I can't move! Riku, you're heavy!" Roxas complained, unable to budge.

"I'm being squished by Yuffie!" Riku complained, also stuck in place in the tower of people.

"Hey! I can't help it that this fool, the other Rikku, followed us in here!"

All five stacked bodies started yelling and complaining and hitting the person below them until finally Lexaeus could take it no more.

"QUIET," he yelled, unable to focus on his very important task due to all the noise. He walked over to the tower and threw Rikku off the top, onto the floor, followed by Yuffie, Riku, Roxas, and Marluxia (who Lexaeus 'accidentally' tossed against the wall with a loud "BOOM!"). "I have business to attend to and would appreciate it if you all would kindly LEAVE." Lexaeus returned to the series of locks, keypads, and mysterious writing on the wall he had been examining before the five imbeciles had decided they wanted to join him, using a flashlight to see. He whirled a few more combinations, entered several codes, murmured strange phrases to himself once he was satisfied the five would remain quiet.

Marluxia, Roxas, Riku, Yuffie, and Rikku just stared when, with the distinct 'click' of a lock opening, a portion of the wall swung open, revealing the most gigantic sword the five had ever seen.

"Whooooa," Riku breathed, "Can I touch it?"

"_NO_," Lexaeus snapped, irritated, "Only Master Cloud may handle the famous Buster Sword."

"Pleaaaaaase?" Riku begged, in awe.

"_NO_."

"With a cherry on top?"

"_**NO!**_"

Riku pouted a little, but did not speak again.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to deliver this to the Master. Please stay out of my way." Lexaeus began to head out, back into the main elevator room, when he paused. He turned to the five gathered in the small area, his eyes losing their golden radiance and regaining their original blue hue, "Beware the Master. He is not in his right mind." He glanced at the sword, and then back at his guests. "Roxas," he said, addressing the younger boy, "When the time is right, and the circumstances become dire… please tell Axel that the left side of Cloud's hair at the nape of his neck is is 2 millimeters shorter than the right side, and that his fifth spike from the left needs to be adjusted."

Roxas nodded grimly, aware that Lexaeus had just spoken important words, "Yes sir."

With a firm nod, Lexaeus's eyes became gold again and he walked into the darkness, towards the exit.

The five remaining looked at each other.

"I guess we should go back in," Riku said, shrugging. He got up and Rikku, Yuffie, and Marluxia followed him. Roxas lagged behind.

"Wait!" he called, but they did not hear, "Where's my diary?"

***

"Silence, fools!" Cloud commanded when Lexaeus brought him the Buster Sword.

The entire crowd (including Rikku, Riku, Yuffie, and Marluxia) stared, unable to believe the evil aura emitting from the once light-hearted, brave, and valiant Cloud.

"All of you shall do as I say! We shall remain in this elevator until it moves again! If anyone dares to defy me he or she will not live to taste feta cheese again!"

Everyone gasped.

"Cloud, what's happened to ya, dude?" Cid asked, chewing his toothpick thoughtfully.

"And why did you frame me? I, who am so beautiful?" Marluxia demanded, outraged.

"Marluxia, you were becoming a hindrance to the Organization, so Lord Sephiroth ordered me to eliminate you," Cloud enlightened, an evil smile gracing his face, "I just thought it would be so much more amusing if I turned your fellow members against you, causing your timely demise." Cloud laughed, leaning back in his desk chair.

"But Lord Sephiroth ordered me to steal the DVD in the first place! It was just pure coincidence that I caught Roxas switching my hair gel with Axel's, which started this whole feud!" Marluxia yelled, confused.

"Nothing is coincidence, my minion," Cloud stated, "Lord Sephiroth is guided by the foresight of King – ahem, nevermind, Sephiroth arranged it all so he could brainwash you both. You are too easily distracted and wrapped up in yourself, Marluxia. Your elimination should come as no surprise. Lord Sephiroth and Ki – ahem – destroy anyone who stands in the way."

One tear was forming in Marluxia's left eye as Cloud continued to smirk evilly.

Cloud leaned forward, clasping his hands, and asked eagerly, "Now – "

Before he could finish his sentence, Roxas came rushing out of the dark corridor, the bookshelf slamming closed behind him, screaming, "GIVE ME BACK MY DIARY!"


	22. Chapter 20: Zexion Knows It All

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N: ** HELLO EVERYBODY! WE'RE BAAACK! *CRIES* I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE! Oh man, it feels like it's been forever… what happened last chapter again?

Haha anyways, forgive us. You see, it's just been rough lately. A few weeks ago, ilovefetamorethanyou's hard drive decided to die. So she went without laptop for a full two and a half weeks while she waited for first a new hard drive to arrive and second said new hard drive to be installed. It was a long, torturous two weeks without fanfiction *cries*. And then… FINALS! It's just been exam after exam after exam after exam but I'M DONE NOW! ilovefetacheese and I will be producing Organization Cheese like madwomen. Of course, it seems like we're nearing the end… but methinks there is a sequel in store? Haha we wouldn't want to torture you readers with more… OOCness. Hey, we try to have them out of character in an in character kind of way, ok?

Anyways… that's enough rambling from me. Onto the story! Onward! Enjoy and review please :D. It would make me very happy after this incredibly long week!

**Disclaimer:** We do not own KH, FF, or Versace. Wow, I think that's _it_ for this EPIC chapter!

_**Chapter 20: Zexion Knows it All**_

All of a sudden, the elevator started rumbling, and weird noises erupted from the ceiling, and Roxas' frets over his stolen diary were ignored.

Sora whimpered, still under the desk, muttering something about aliens.

"Oh, Riku, hold me!" Yuffie jumped and plopped herself in Riku's arms, forcing him to carry her.

"Oww…just how many shuriken do you have to hide under your clothes?"

"_Wanna count_?"

Before the conversation was able to proceed any further, Leon shrieked (very manly and coolly, I might add), and pointed up at the ceiling. "IT'S MOVING!"

Sure enough, the ceiling tiles were shifting, opening up a space for…what, exactly?

"GASP!" Everyone gasped as Zexion jumped from his seat in quite a divalicious way and struck a dashing disco pose.

"IT'S A DISCO BALL!"

The group exchanged curious glances with each other, as they were all wildly thinking, _Did Zexion really just jump out of his chair like a graceful ballerina, point to the ceiling and exclaim, "IT'S A DISCO BALL!"?_

Sure enough, Zexion then snapped, twirled elegantly, and music oozed out of the surround sound speakers of the elevator's home theater system. Suddenly a dance floor folded out of the ground as well, and the lights dimmed.

"Heyyyyyyyyyy, everybodyyy! Let's grind! It's **totally** the latest dance move! Woot woot!" Yuffie jumped out of Riku's arms and plopped herself on the dance floor.

Leon chuckled, ignoring Yuffie's death glares as she danced by herself. "Y'know, Zexion, I thought it was a little out there when I heard it, but…you really would make a great—"

"NO!" Zexion rushed over and covered Leon's mouth with his hand. "Leon…_**you wouldn't."**_

"Huh?"

"Would you like _me_ to tell the _world_ that YOU DON'T—".

"Why yes, yes I would. Actually, I…have a better…idea… Bwahaha!" Leon mightily stood up, exuding a dark, majestic aura.

"Yunie, I'm scared…" Rikku whined, "Leon's scary…"

Demyx continued to stay hunched over; Sora, however, peeked out from under his desk.

"TRUTH OR DARE."

-dun dun dun-

* * *

"Okay, Sephiroth...our comrade's ditched us. Now _spill the beans_." Selphie held her arm

ready and equipped with a nunchuk.

Sephiroth looked down with a bit of shame adorning his face. "Okay…I admit it. I don't like

lima beans…"

"GASP!" Naminé put her hands to her open mouth, in shock, and Tidus only tightened his grip on her, still holding his sword to her throat. "Sephy-toodles! I thought you loved lima beans! I always made them specially for you!"

"I…I know, Nami-pooh, I just…didn't….want….sniff….to…..WAHHHHH!" Sehpiroth wailed, bursting into tears.

"OOOOOOHHHHKAYYYY, YAAAA….LET'S GET BACK TO THE SUBJECT…" Wakka was a bit overwhelmed (although he really just wanted an excuse to blow something up with those blitzballs of doom….).

"Yes, Sephy. Now tell the truth. WHY DID YOU KIDNAP CLOUD?" Selphie inquired forcefully.

Sephiroth sniffed and whimpered with puppy-dog eyes, "…I…I only wanted to make some friends..."

"And did you, Sephy-dearest?" Selphie asked sweetly, in a completely pseudo-innocent tone.

"Of course. In fact, I made one very good friend in particular. Would you like to meet her?" Lord Sephiroth smiled menacingly.

"No thank you. Actually, we're on a deadline, so I'm going to have to stop this little chat here. Preare to die a glorious death, Sephy." Selphie whipped her nunchuck around.

"Pity," Sephiroth smiled sadly. "I'm afraid she's already here, so it's going to have to be me who cuts this convo short. Feta, take 'em out."

At those words, a young woman with flowing black hair swooped down from the ceiling, knocking Tidus out with one swift kick to the head and tossing Naminé into Sephiroth's arms.

"What the – " Selphie began, staring at the figure whose face was hidden behind a massive black scarf, a pair of stylish Versace sunglasses covering her eyes, before she was interrupted by the lovey dovey mush that was Sephiroth and Naminé.

"Sephy-kins!"

"Nami-pooh!"

"My little cabbage!"

"Darling!"

"Sweetheart!"

"Babycakes!"

"Snickerdoodle!"

"Cupcake!"

"Pumpkin pie!"

"Blueberry pancakes!"

"Nami-muffin!"

"Sephy honey bun! I missed you so much!"

"Ew," Selphie commented, glaring at the embracing couple. Then, whirling, she demanded, "Who are you?" Selphie narrowed her eyes as she examined the newcomer.

"Why, Selphie! I thought we were BFFLs! I'm hurt!" The stranger pulled off her sunglasses and unwound her scarf, revealing –

DUN DUN DUN

- TIFA!

"Gasp!" Selphie gasped, openly gaping at her once friend-now-frenemy. "Tifa! I thought I recognized those trendy sunglasses! How dare you, traitor!" Selphie whipped around her nunchuck, ready to take down her _former_ BFFL.

"Bring it," Tifa grinned widely, "No mercy, Selphie."

"Oh, I wasn't planning on it," Selphie responded.

Both girls assumed fighting stances, ready to pounce.

* * *

"WHERE'S MY *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* DIARY?" Roxas demanded furiously, running out of the secret corridor, the wrath in his tone effectively silencing the room.

"TRUTH OR DARE?" Cloud merely challenged in response.

"I WANT THE TRUTH!" Roxas bellowed.

"He says truth!" Cloud chuckled, then glanced at his minions in black, "What shall I ask him?"

"Whatever you desire, master," all five waiters responded in unison.

"Hehehe. Yes, that's right. Now, Roxas do tell me – " Cloud was cut off suddenly by a large BOOM that resounded throughout the castle, shaking the building, even reaching the top floor of the tallest, darkest tower of Castle d'Italia. Everyone was thrown to the ground by the shockwave, and the rumble of collapsing stone walls could be heard from far below.

"Luxord!" Cloud snapped, rubbing his head and sitting up from where his chair had fallen over. "Teleport downstairs and report the damage ASAP!"

"Yes, Master." Luxord bowed and opened a portal to darkness.

"XIGBAR! XALDIN! Secure the perimeter of the castle at once!"

"As you command, sire." The two waiters bowed and left.

"SAIX! Hit the emergency elevator power button and get us to the top floor! We've got a party to get to!"

"Yes master."

"Lexaeus!"

"Yes, Master Cloud?"

"Shine my buster sword!"

* * *

5 Minutes Earlier

"OMG WE'RE GOING TO CRASH!" Olette squealed, pointing frantically at the rapidly approaching castle.

"I'm too young to die!" Pence yelled, covering his head.

"Oh, don't worry, this baby was _designed_ to crash into castles," Auron reassured the teens.

"WHAT?" the three gasped at his words.

"Yeah, hakuna matata. No worries. King Mickey had this baby built to be fire-proof, bullet-proof, weather-resistant, rust-resistant, water-proof up to a depth of 10,000 leagues, and completely crash proof. In fact, in 72 out of 73 trials, the passenger dummies of the train emerged from a castle crash completely unscathed. We're completely safe!"

"WHAT?"

"Just chillax and enjoy the ride. YEEEHAWWWWWW!" Auron yelled just before they were about to crash, raising his arms into the air, looking as though he was thoroughly loving the thrill.

BOOM!

* * *

"What was that?" Selphie screeched, brushing her knees off and standing up. The tremors had thrown everyone (except Sephiroth, who, of course, did not fall due to his majestic dark aura)(and the fact that he can fly) to the ground.

"It seems we have… intruders," Sephiroth suggested, smirking.

Selphie narrowed her eyes and resumed her fighting stance. "That doesn't interfere with _my_ plans, Sephy… the one where I TAKE YOU DOWN!"

"Not so fast, ex-BFFL! You'll have to go through me first!" Tifa raised a fist and crouched low. (Now, you didn't think your dear writers would conveniently avoid describing an oh-so-epic battle between our two heroines, where Tifa tosses off her scarf, throws her glasses to ground, crunching them under her foot before lunging at Selphie, her fists a blur as they fly through the air, Selphie narrowly dodging each blow with a speed only a girl of her small size could manage, retaliating harshly by whipping her nunchuck expertly, only to have it knocked aside with a perfectly placed high-kick by Tifa to the frail girl's wrist, resulting in a cry of '_Ouch!_' issuing from Selphie's mouth as the next powerful kick connects with her stomach, signaling the end of the battle, now did you?)

"With pleasure, Tifa," Selphie merely responded, cracking her nunchuck in a most whiplike manner.

Before the two females launched themselves at each other at supersonic speeds, however, a high-pitched 'Ding!' could be heard from across the room.

At that moment, the shiny, polished elevator doors opened, momentarily delaying Tifa and Selpie's most epic battle (Whoops. Bad writers! Bad!). All heads turned (except Tidus's – he was still unconscious) to see the newcomers.

"WHERE'S MY *BEEP* DIARY?" Roxas growled as he rushed out of the elevator, twirling his keyblade fancily.

"Hi-ya!" Axel cried as he hopped out, brandishing two flaming pairs of scissors.

"Naminé! Did he hurt you?" Demyx bawled as he rushed out.

"Hands off the girl, bub," Leon grunted as he waved his gunblade most threateningly as he exited the elevator.

"Leon!" Yuffie called, cartwheeling after him, "Don't leave me!"

"Tidus! Is that you?" Yuna exclaimed, running over to the knocked-out Tidus, whose hood had been thrown back during his fall.

"Yunie! Don't leave me!" Rikku whined as she hurried to catch up with Yuna.

"Please tell me there are some heartless to kill," Paine muttered darkly as she followed her friend, knowing Rikku unattended would only lead to trouble.

"Whoa. This is like a scene straight out of Gossip Girl: Radiant Garden," Repliku commented as he noticed the two girls ready to fight, somersaulting out of the elevator.

"Oh look, it's that crazy dude Sephiroth." Cid spat out his toothpick after he exited the elevator. "Well I'll be."

"Selphie?" Kairi cried as she ran out of the elevator, closely followed by Riku.

"Tidus?" Riku exclaimed, equally as shocked as Kairi.

"Then you must be Wakka!" Sora concluded as he dodge-rolled out of the elevator, springing happily to his feet. "What are you guys doing here?"

"We're here to rescue Cloud, ya," Wakka said, "And capture Sephiroth, ending his days of evil deeds, ya."

"But Cloud's – but – but – why?" Sora exclaimed, confused, due to the fact that his time in the elevator had convinced him that his hero Cloud was actually a thoroughly evil dude.

"King Mickey's orders, ya," Wakka said, and shrugged.

"Wakka!" Selphie snapped, shocked that Wakka had let that classified information slip.

"Whoops, ya!"

"King Mickey?" Sora, Kairi, and Riku exclaimed.

"Yes. And now that you know, I'll kindly have you step back while I finish him off!" Selphie screeched, her evil side taking over again.

"You, little girl, are sadly misinformed," Cloud boomed as he stepped regally out of the elevator, brandishing his newly-shined Buster Sword, followed by his waiters, who had reported back to him ASAP, except for Luxord. "King Mickey would never order the annihilation of his most trusted and valuable minion, Lord Sephiroth."

"Wait, what?" Selphie shook her head, confused.

"You're telling me that Sephiroth works for Mickey?" Riku exclaimed, flabbergasted.

"Of course. Only the finest warriors gain recognition by His Majesty King Mickey, ruler of all the worlds." Cloud looked at Riku as if this fact were obvious.

"Wait a sec," Sora stopped and put a finger to his chin, thinking deeply. He sighed and shook his head. "WHAT THE *BEEP* IS GOING ON?" Sora even remembered to censor himself, despite his rage and confusion.

* * *

"Owwww," Hayner moaned, "Are we alive?" He rubbed his head and sat up, looking out the window. "Whoaa. Look at this place."

The train had crashed right into the bottommost floor of the ominous Castle d'Italia, crumbling the walls around it. Rubble was everywhere, and dust from the collision was clouding up the air.

"You kids ok?" Auron inquired, brushing off his robes and standing up. The teens merely nodded, still quite traumatized from the crash. "Alrighty then. Time to do our job. Let's move out." He opened the train door and headed outside. Pence, Olette, and Hayner followed reluctantly. They were not sure what their fates in this dark castle would be.

"Confound it all!" The group of four looked up when they heard a strange voice. "What happened here?"

"Show yourself," Auron commanded gruffly, whipping out his sword and looking around cautiously.

"Who in the – Auron!" A blonde man emerged from beneath the rubble, shoving aside pieces of wall.

"Vexen!" Auron exclaimed, quickly sheathing his sword, "How are ya, old pal!"

"Eh, I could be better," Vexen brushed off his dusty coat, "You know how it is. Eat, sleep, experiment evilly, get hit by a train." Vexen shrugged.

"Yeah, I hear you. Say, when is Luxord going to have one of our poker nights again? I've been itching to win a hand or two. You know, times are tough these days. Need a little extra munny where I can get it, right?" Auron clapped Vexen on the back.

"I think he's got one planned for next Thursday night. I think he has the day off. He's working at Cloud's café right now," Vexen explained.

"CLOUD'S CAFÉ?" the trio of teens exclaimed.

"Indeed," a foreign male voice boomed, "I do have a night off on Thursday."

"Luxord! How've you been, buddy!" Auron high-fived Luxord.

"Life as usual. Although," he paused, "I did get a new job at Cloud's café, like Vexen over there said."

"CLOUD'S CAFÉ?" the trio of teens exclaimed again.

"Yeah… I think it's called Café Cloud? Haven't you heard of it?" Vexen asked, a little surprised.

"No," Hayner replied angrily, "We really don't know what's going on here!"

"Oh yeah… I'm on a mission here," Auron sounded surprised, then frowned, "OK! It is time to resume my rough-and-tumble, strong-and-silent tough-guy aura. YOU THREE!" he barked, "IN THE ELEVATOR!"

"Eep!" Olette squeaked when she saw the fearsome look on Auron's face.

The three teens entered the elevator. Vexen, Luxord, and Auron soon followed. Vexen hit the button labeled for floor 100.

"Wow that's a lot of buttons," Pence commented.

Suddenly the three teens looked at each other mischievously. All at once, they started punching the buttons, laughing gleefully.

By the time the teenagers were done with their mischief, all 100 buttons were lit up.

"Oh no," Vexen sighed and put a hand to his head, "The last time Larxene did this, it took half an hour to get to the top floor."

Zexion glared at the audience gathered outside the elevator, disgusted.

"Goodness. Am I the only one who reads the history books in the library? Or any books in the library?" Zexion shook his head sadly as he discoed out of the elevator. The crowd outside stared at him. "Do you think this is the first time something like this has happened? Doesn't _anyone_ here know Mickey's history?"

Everyone shook their heads.

"Manipulation? Control from the shadows? Propagation of mischief?" Zexion looked at the blank faces and cringed. He sighed, disgusted. "Ok, let me put it simply for you illiterate imbeciles: How many of you are here under the orders of King Mickey?"

Everyone in the room raised their hands.


	23. Chapter 21: Baking With Cloud

**Organization Cheese**

A/N: Hello! Enjoy! Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all you lovely readers out there! You know, an excellent Christmas gift would be a review! Pleease?

Disclaimer: We do not own KH or FF. Or GG.

_Chapter 21: Baking with Cloud_

"OW!" Axel's back straightened as something jabbed into him from behind.

"Pssst….Kairi…" Riku leaned over and whispered to Kairi, "Your pink mohawk is poking Axel's back! Move!"

Axel turned around, stunned. "Kairi! Heyyyy, girllll! Long time no see! What happened to you the last….thirteen chapters?"

"Umm…I've been right here. In fact, I was even in here last chapter! It's not my fault I'm an annoying insignificant character that the author gave a pink mohawk to just for the heck of it!" Kairi pouted.

"NO!" Zexion rushed over to Kairi. "You're not useless, Kairi! Don't worry! You play a very important role in the story! Even that pink mohawk of yours! Which I was going to mention before we became sidetracked….OH YES! NOW! IF I DARE, I WILL TELL YOU ALL THAT I KNOW OF KING MICKEY'S HISTORY OF EVILNESS…"

Cloud's eyes widened and he jumped up. "HE SAYS DARE! WHAT SHOULD WE DARE HIM TO DO, YOU GUYS?"

"DANCE LIKE A BALLERINA!" Larxene shouted snidely.

Lexaeus walked up to Zexion, and, towering over him, said, "You heard him, kid…a ballerina!"

"Ahem….you mean….a _danceur nobelle_?" Zexion snapped, and suddenly classical music began playing out of the surround-sound speakers, and he did a leap, then twirled, fluttered around some more, and finished his move off with an elegant midair spin and split landing. "How do you like _that_?" Zexion confidently exclaimed to his comrades.

Everyone else sat stunned, until Naminé jumped out of Sephiroth's arms, ran to Zexion and embraced him, squealing, "SQUEEALLLLL! ZEXION! I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE A BALLERINA! TEACH ME! TEACH ME!"

Zexion smiled, secretly thanking Larxene for making him able to finally reveal his deepest, darkest, secret to the world…and make it seem somewhat normal! All of a sudden he noticed evil glances from not only Sephiroth, but Demyx, Leon, AND Yuffie, who was still mad at Leon and jealous of Naminé. Not being able to take those death glares, he ran, tears forming in his eyes, into the elevator once more, but then realized the elevator doors were shut, and banged his head on the hard metal. Zexion, having a really bad 5 minutes, collapsed, head and arms on his knees, crying.

Axel chimed in, "Aww, come on, Naminé, look how much you delayed the story _this_ time!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the elevator had fallen quiet, as, quite frankly, the teens were regretting pushing every floor's button, because they were getting quite bored.

"Hey, Olette…"

"Yeah, Pence?

"Is that…Mozart I hear?"

"Nah, I think that's Bach."

"UGH, IT'S BEETHOVEN, YOU IDIOTS!" Vexen snapped.

The three youngsters shrunk a bit in their spots, scared of the mad scientist.

"S….Sorry…" Pence squeaked out.

As the elevator dinged at floor 50, Luxord sighed. "Anyone got a deck of cards? It's gonna be a while…"

* * *

As things finally began to settle down back upstairs, the atmosphere grew more serious, and Zexion raised from the spot on the floor where he was previously curled up in a little ball.

"Okay, guys…are we going to get this over with or not? WHAT IS GOING ON IN THIS CASTLE?" Selphie screamed, becoming very frustrated.

"Yeah, seriously, guys. Our readers have been waiting for like ten *BEEEP BEEP BEEP* hours. We should get moving with the plot." Riku added.

"Nah, I think we can stall some more," Axel replied smartly.

All of a sudden Sephiroth threw a death glare to Axel and smacked him in the head with his sword's sheath. "YOU," a roar came out of his mouth. "I THOUGHT I SHUNNED YOU FROM THIS CASATLE SIX MONTHS AGO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK HERE?"

"Uhh, you…_just_ noticed now? Nice…and by the way, that hurt."

"YOU WILL NOT SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY! GIVE ME FIFTY! NOW! OR YOU DIEEEE."

Axel winced and dropped to the ground, and did fifty push-ups as Sephiroth told him. He greatly struggled on the last 10, however, because Sora decided to take a nap on Axel's back. When he finished he stood back up, causing Sora to crumble onto the floor (but who cares about that? Sora's been conscious on and off for the past…..twenty chapters?), who then muttered something about being hungry and feta cheese.

"OHHHH. WHAT NOW, PUNK?" Axel sure showed Sephiroth his upper arm strength, and flexed his biceps, which could still be seen under his frilly Gossip Girl-inspired trenchcoat.

Tifa, who had previously been pressing her finger to her ear and seemed to be muttering strange nouns, shouted joyfully, "LET'S GO BAKE COOKIES!"

Sora jumped off the ground, suddenly awake, and yelled, "WITH FETA CHEESE!", and popped back onto the floor lazily. Everyone else agreed baking cookies would be just splendid—after all, this story really couldn't get much weirder (oh, really...? I think not…).

"Okay, y'all! We're going to film the first episode of my new series "Baking With Cloud"! Isn't this so exciting?" Cloud exclaimed.

"YEAH!" The group strangely cried in unison; thus everyone followed Cloud into the kicthen in 'Café Cloud', and sat down while Cloud prepared his ingredients, and Lexaeus got the video camera ready.

* * *

*5 minutes earlier*

"Oh! Heehee! That tickles! Shh, everyone, I'm getting a message!"

Everyone in the elevator hushed as Auron put his finger to his ear, and said in monotone, "Yes, Feta. We are currently on floor 78.31415926535 and will arrive in approximately seven minutes. Are you ready? Cookies? Ah, nice distraction. Yes, that will be just dandy. Ah. Good plan. My, you are certainly outshining my mischievousness, Feta. I should never have taught you everything I know….Yes. Yes. No. Yes. Omelet, Penthouse, Haywire, IV, and X. Fabulous. Yes, see you! Squeeeaaal!"

"What was _that_?" Hayner blurted out.

Everyone looked a bit confused; even Vexen and Luxord were eyeing each other curiously.

"Ah, you all will find out very shortly. No worrries." Auron then proceeded to pull out a deck of cards from inside his cloak. When he had them in his hand, he brought the cards to his nose, and a disgusted look crossed his crinkled face. "Eww…maybe I should've taken these out….five years ago…."

* * *

Everyone had settled into the kitchen, and Cloud was starting to put some food in the oven after introducing his show to the rolling video cameras, when a distant 'ding!' could be heard far away in the hallway.

By now, the characters all knew what that pleasant sound meant, and they all ditched the camera and Cloud's cheesy (literally) cooking program to possibly find something that would advance the story. As the gang rounded the corner, they found a group of three teenagers, Auron, Vexen, and Luxord.

"Auron!" Sora cried, "I missed you so much!" He ran up and hugged the big, tough guy in red. "Haha, missed you too…" Auron muttered as he looked and made eye contact with Tifa. The two nodded at each other, and Tifa dashed back into the kitchen just as Cloud had come out to see what all the commotion was about.

Roxas rounded the corner, and as he saw the three teenagers, he dashed back. "AHHHH! BULLIES!" He half whispered, half yelled, harshly. Axel turned around and gave Roxas a sympathetic look, and mouthed the words, 'Hide'.

As Roxas retreated out of sight of the visitors from the elevator, he was suddenly struck with the memory of something Lexaeus had said to him not too long ago. He just got this sudden urge…

"CLOOUUUUUD! THE LEFT SIDE OF YOUR HAIR IS—"

But t'was no use, for at that moment, a screeching alarm rang out throughout the whole castle (what is this, the third time this has happened?).

"EEEEEEEEEEK!" Marluxia jumped, screaming like a girl, scared at the sudden noise.

"EVERYONE! WE HAVE TO EVACUATE OUTSIDE! THERE'S A FIRE IN THE KITCHEN!" Tifa suddenly ran in, yelling orders. "THERE'S A SPECIAL EVACUATION ROUTE! EVERYONE FOLLOW MY LEAD!"

Tifa, raising her hand to be seen in this now crowd of 40-million-some(not really, maybe 30+, as we've lost count and don't even bother to try and figure it out), and walked over to a…..large hole in the wall that she had silently punched out while the rest had averted their eyes. She plopped herself onto the ground, legs dangling off the edge of the building, and slid down a 2500-foot-long twisty slide that was there at a rapid 79.2 mph. Upon reaching the distant ground, she jumped and waved for the rest to follow suit.

Axel stepped forward first, and turned to Sora, Kairi, and Riku. "Guys, I got you into this mission…I guess the least I could do…is….sniffffffffffffffff….sacrifice myself!" With that, he made a dramatic exit, and pushed himself off the slide without a word, only to yell halfway down, "YEAHHHHHHH, BABY!"

Sora, crying, exclaimed, "THAT WAS SO BEAUTIFUL!" And threw himself out of the building.

Riku sighed and muttered, "BEEP! BEEEEEEEEP!", but Sora could still remarkably hear and censor him from many hundreds of feet up. Riku then slid down to go beat Sora up for keeping this story's language appropriate, and Kairi followed.

"OWW! MY MOHAWK!" Kairi's mohawk was so tall that it caused her to hit her head against the top of the exit hole. Nevertheless, she slid down as well.

Following were Marluxia, who shed rose petals as he slid down, Larxene, Sephiroth, who carried Naminé in his arms romantically, Leon, who was quite annoyed by that, Yuffie, who was even more annoyed, Repliku, Vexen, and Roxas, who wanted to get away from Hayner, Pence, and Olette, for fear they recognize him. Everyone else evacuated as well, until the only ones left were Auron and a frantic Cloud.

"B-but my café's fine! The oven was on, but no fire!" Cloud was near tears, wondering what in the world this was all about.

"Just go down the slide, son. Everything will explain itself in due time." Auron directed Cloud to the exit.

"What…what are you talking about? I can't leave my café! It's my life!" Cloud was near tears.

"No, kid. It's not. Now go."

"But—"

"GO."

Cloud soberly lowered himself and slid down the long, scary, yet strangely exhilarating slide.

Auron looked around to make sure everyone was gone, then held his arms up as if he were at an amusement park and yelled, "I'M READY TO PAARRRRTAAAYYY!"


	24. Chapter 22: The King Arrives, Finally!

**Organization Cheese**

A/N: Hello! Sorry we slacked off over the holidays… welllll enjoy! Please read and review!

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts or Final Fantasy (or Gossip Girl)!

**EDIT: **This chapter has been slightly edited from its original version to preserve continuity with the rest of the story. Don't worry, it barely makes a difference to the story line, but makes a later, very important occurrence make a WHOLE LOT MORE SENSE!

_Chapter 22: The King Arrives (Finally)_

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!"

"MY HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIR!"

These were the only phrases that could be heard as all our favorite characters slid down the impossibly tall, heart-stoppingly scary slide that scaled the side of the dark, ominous Castle d'Italia.

"!" Axel yelled as he, the first down the slide after Tifa, approached the ground at an inhuman speed. "I'M GOING TO DIIIIIIIE WITHOUT FIXING ROXAS'S HAAAAAAAAAAAIR!"

"I got you!" Tifa reassured, although Axel could not hear her. She ran forward, just as Axel was about to shoot off the slide, and grabbed him out of the air. The force of the impact caused both of them to fly backwards, away from the slide. Luckily, Tifa was still under the influence of fairy dust, so the two floated to safety.

"Whew, thanks Tifa! And here I thought you were a bad guy!" Axel panted, as the impact had knocked the breath out of him.

Tifa giggled coyly and winked before she tossed Axel off of her and into the water of the majestic fountain, containing a giant statue of King Mickey, a few feet away. Axel sat up and spat out some water as well as a goldfish, which flailed as it fell through the air.

Tifa laughed evilly and ran off to catch the rest of the castle refugees, one by one and three by three. Finally, the only one left to catch was Auron, who was sliding down the ominous contraption, yelling loudest of them all, hands in the air.

"! ADRENALINE RUSH, BABY!" Auron howled, completely forgetting that he was supposed to be the strong, silent type of character.

"Wow, I don't remember Auron being this… uhh…" Sora rubbed his head, trying to think of the right word.

"Talkative?" Kairi suggested hopefully.

"Expressive?" Riku filled in the blank.

"Evil?" Tifa recommended happily.

Sora, Riku and Kairi all stared at her for that one.

"Uh… loud maybe?" Sora finished his sentence, completely ignoring Tifa's ridiculous suggestion.

Or was it really that ridiculous?

"!" Auron yelled, descending down the slide, his cries growing louder as he approached the group of people waiting in the castle courtyard. He reached the bottom of the slide, flying off the end, twirling and somersaulting through the air, before finally landing triumphantly, on his feet, in the middle of a massive buffet table.

"Whoaaaaa," Sora ogled, his mouth open.

"That was a pretty wicked landing," Riku agreed reluctantly, nodding his head.

Now that the commotion of sliding out of the castle was over, and everybody was safely on the ground, our heroes began to look around, oohing and ahhing at their surroundings.

"What's going on here?" Riku asked, turning around slowly and admiring the courtyard.

"Is somebody having a party?" Kairi asked, tugging on a clump of balloons to her right, all in the shape of King Mickey's head.

"mmfph YUM mmffph," Sora tried to enunciate, but his mouth was too stuffed with the food on the buffet table.

"Sora!" Kairi yelped, "Don't eat that!"

"Why not?" Repliku asked, taking a bite out of a giant turkey leg, "It's good!"

"It might be poisoned," Paine commented darkly, taking a swig of some of the punch.

"Look who's talking," Larxene said snottily.

"CEASE," Sephiroth commanded harshly, and everyone turned to look at him. "These preparations are for Queen Minnie's birthday party. Don't you dare begin the festivities without Her Majesty. If anyone touches anything else I will happily prepare your untimely demise."

Sora gulped and decided that now would be a good time to hide under the table.

"Feta!" Sephiroth turned towards Tifa, who's codename was apparently Feta, "When are the guests arriving?"

"In 30 minutes, sir!" Tifa saluted Sephiroth.

"Are the preparations complete and have all invitations been delivered?" Sephiroth demanded to know, hugging Naminé tightly to him.

"Yes, Lord Sephiroth," Tifa confirmed, "As soon as the guests arrive, the festivities can begin."

"Fabulous," Sephiroth commented, "Good work, Feta."

"Thank you, Lord Sephy. Your praise means everything to me."

"Now!" Sephiroth declared as he whirled around and headed back towards the entrance to Castle d'Italia, "I must be off! Fear not, I will be back on time to present Minnie with her birthday gift. Take care of everything in my stead, Tifa!"

"Of course, Your Utter Darkness." Tifa's eyes glinted gold as she bowed to Lord Sephiroth.

* * *

"Hold up, hold up. WHAT THE *BEEEP* IS GOING ON?" Riku was a bit confused about this crazy talk of a birthday party.

Auron turned to Riku and nonchalantly stated, "Why, we are awaiting the arrival of the rest of the guests for Queen Minnie's surprise birthday party. What did you think? "

"ARE YOU TELLING I *BEEEEEEEEEEEP*ING CAME ALL THE WAY FROM MY COZY LIITTLE TROPICAL ISLAND, PUT UP WITH THIS FRILLY GG-OBSESSED GUIDE, THEN ALL THESE YAHOOS JUST TO GO TO A *BEEEEP*IN' BIRTHDAY PARTY? I THOUGHT I WAS SAVING CLOUD!"

"Well, you see…" Auron put his head down, trying to think a way out of this one…

"Riku, watch your language, young man! I'm ashamed to have this foul speech in my presence, especially from a noble young lad I've worked with for so long!" A squeaky voice could be heard coming from portable speakers set up outside.

Everyone knew that voice. "The King?" Riku shouted, shocked, covering his mouth and looking around frantically for where the sound was emanating from.

Suddenly, the fountain started to rise, as if it was the top of an underground elevator. Sure enough, it was, and the King popped out of it, wearing a mini microphone attached to one of his large ears. Doing a little jig as he walked out of the strange elevator, the king said, "Hello, everyone! How're ya'll doing?"

Everyone was shocked that, first of all, the king was standing right there in front of them, second, a secret underground elevator had just ascended above ground magically, and third, well, nothing, really…the party had overall gotten used to these kinds of things.

"OMG! ALIEEEEENNNN! EVERYONE! RUN FOR COVER!" Rikku attempted to run under a buffet table, but Sora was just now crawling out from under his to greet the King, when they both collided, knocking heads and falling unconscious (but not for long, of course.)

"RIKKKKUUU! YOU ** IMBECILE *BEEP* *BEEP* BEEP* ! THAT'S HIS MAJESTY KING MICKEY YOU JUST CALLED AN ALIEN! GAH! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!"

Rikku sat up, awoken by Paine's string of profanity and anger. "Gulp….I'M SORRY, KING! I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN PERSON! I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO HAVE SUCH…LARGE EARS! FORGIVE ME!" Rikku bowed on the floor to Mickey.

"OH NO YOU DIDN'T, GIRRRRLLLLLLL! NO ONE INSULTS THE KING'S EARS! HE'S VERY SELF-CONSCIOUS ABOUT THEM!" Tifa kicked the air right above Rikku's head, nearly knocking her out (once again).

"HALT! EVERYONE STOP FIGHTING!" The King jumped up in the air and held his hands out. As the whole party silenced, the King said sternly, "We now have 15 minutes until the guests and entertainers arrive and 30 until I must go fetch the Queen. She thinks we're going to that new _Aerith: A Tribute On Ice_ concert, when I'm really going to lead her over here, thinking I took the wrong exit on the inter-galactic highway. WE HAVE LOTS TO BE DO, AND THESE TABLES ARE A MESS! EVERYONE! STRAIGHTEN THEM OUT! TIFA! YOU GET THE RED CARPET! AURON! SET UP THE WATER TANKS SO OUR ATLANTICAN FRIENDS CAN JOIN US AS WELL!"

"As you wish, Your Majesty," Auron bowed to the King. Everybody felt special now that they had a job to fulfill.

Mickey pointed to Xaldin and motioned for him to come forth. "I got a special job for you…" Xaldin's eye widened as the King whispered into his ear….

* * *

"So, like, I was just walkin' ta school, y'KNOW? And, y'know, outta nowhere, this cookie just…appeared right in the middle of the street! Can you believe that?"

"Wow, Raijin, what a story…." Fuujin said sarcastically. The two, along with Seifer, were hanging out in the backlot.

"OMG!" Seifer squealed (very manly, of course), and pointed at the air. "A COOKIE!"

"YO, MAN! THAT LOOKS WONDERFULLY DELECTABLE! Y'KNOW?"

Thus, Rai started running after the cookie, and the other two of course followed him, and suddenly a black portal appeared right in front of Rai out of nowhere. He stumbled in, finally grasping the cookie, and Seifer and Fuujin were running too fast to stop before they were sucked into the darkness as well.

A chuckle rang throughout the whole backlot. _WHERE COULD THE TRIO HAVE GONE? _


	25. Chapter 23: Red Carpet Ruckus

_**Organization Cheese**_

**A/N:** HELLO ALLL!!!!! IT'S BEEN SO LONG!!!! TO ALL YOU LOYAL READERS OUT THERE----THANK YOU FOR READING AND STICKING WITH ORGANIZATION CHEESE!!!

It's ilovefetacheese here. My life has just been extremey hectic lately and I offer my immense apologies for not updating sooner—I take the full blame, as ilovefetamorethanyou had her part written more than two weeks ago…but, eureka, I have REGAINED INSPIRATION!!! We are ready to make the OC end with more epic-ness than all the previous chapters COMBINED! YEAH, BABY! But, we still have more story to go, so don't stop reading! Pleeeeeease review, too!

Disclaimer: We do not own KH, FF, GG, Disney, or any of their characters or worlds. Thank you.

-

_**Chaper 23**__**: **_**Red Carpet Ruckus **

The guests didn't start arriving for another half hour, and during that time, night fell, and the courtyard was turned into a glittering wonderland which looked more like the setting of the Academy Awards than the front yard of an ominous and evil castle, complete with a red carpet.

"PRINCESS JASMINE!"

"OVER HERE!"

"LOOK THIS WAY!"

The Princess, clad in a teal Arabian outfit, waved to the paparazzi and smiled gently, escorted by none other than…

"PRINCE ALI!" a few rabid female paparazzi screamed as they took photos like mad. The young man, clasping the elbow of the princess, smiled and took off his cap, bowing to the crowd. The pair stopped to pose in front of an elegant castle backdrop, with the words Queen Minnie's Birthday Extravaganza arched on the top. A strange monkey wearing a peculiar hat posed on Prince Ali's head, much to the delight of the paparazzi. As soon as the paparazzi had their fill, the royal couple continued on their way down the red carpet, followed by the Princess's father and the royal attendants, as well as a blue floating genie.

"Oh my God it's Prince Ali!" Naminé whispered to Kairi conspiratorially. All of our friends and heroes who had gathered to save Cloud were seated around an enormously long table, decked out with expensive, solid silver place settings. Cloud's five waiters flitted around, taking drink orders and assisting the famous guests to their seats. The gang could only ogle as they watched the celebrities walk along the red carpet. Sora actually dropped his crystal goblet (which was filled with only water, luckily), shattering it to pieces, when Hercules walked by and waved at him. Xaldin quickly came and cleaned up the mess, replacing Sora's goblet with a new, shiny one.

"Riku. Hercules. Just. Waved. Hi. To. Me," Sora gushed, slightly in shock. "He's… my _hero_."

"I thought Cloud was your hero?" Riku looked at Sora skeptically, but was also quite awed by the mythological hero's greeting.

"Cloud's evil now," Sora said resolutely, frowning, "Hercules has always been another of my heroes!"

"Wait," Riku stated, just realizing something, "Hercules was totally waving at _me_."

"No, he was waving at _me_," Sora insisted, waving a hand in the air, "Why would he wave at _you_?"

"Because I'm obviously much better and stronger than – nevermind, forget it" Riku gave in, distracted by the celebrity who just entered the archway, on her way to the photo stop. "Whatever, he was waving at you. Now _she_, however, is definitely waving at _me_." The eyes of Sora and Riku (and Demyx and Repliku and Hayner and Pence and Tidus) were drawn to the regal Asian woman, accompanied by a man who appeared to be a soldier and tiny dragon the color of fire.

"No, doofus, she's waving to the _camera_," Sora hissed, a bit miffed.

"Both of you are BUFOONS." Kairi glared at them, a bit jealous.

"ALL of you are buffoons," Naminé sent a second glare at the rest of the boys who were ogling the pretty Asian woman.

"MULAN!" the paparazzi screamed, and then, "SHANG!"

"HOW DOES IT FEEL, KNOWING YOU SAVED CHINA?"

"Now, now, let's not get into politics at the Queen's birthday party," Mulan, the woman, answered amicably, waving and posing with Shang and the dragon.

"WHAT WAS IT LIKE TO IMPERSONATE A MAN?"

"That's _enough_," Shang commented, and escorted Mulan away from the press and towards the table marked "The Land of the Dragons," their home world.

"She is so _cool_! She's like, my _hero_!" Selphie squealed, looking to Tifa, their earlier feud forgotten now that they were sitting next to each other at the most elite party in all the worlds.

"I _know_! I heard she took down a giant heartless _and_ a maniac villain!" Tifa whispered animatedly to Selphie before both turned to stare at the next arrival.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the golden-eyed, silver-haired, tan announcer spoke into a microphone, "If I may now formally welcome our esteemed and honorable guest, the Emperor of China. Please pay your respects."

"Is that… Xemnas?" Axel asked Roxas quizzically, referring to the announcer, dressed in a snazzy purple suit.

"I… I think so…" Roxas stared for a moment as the two rose with the rest of the party attendees, and bowed as the Emperor passed. The only guest who did not bow was the Sultan of Agrabah. The two men formally shook hands and greeted each other amicably as rulers of allied worlds.

After the Emperor seated himself next to Mulan, the press turned their attention to the Limousine which had just driven up. Tifa quickly grabbed Selphie's shoulder as the Limousine's passenger, along with her companion, were revealed , and yelped, "Selphie! Look!!! It's Princess Aurora!!!"

"_No way_! She hasn't been seen in public for a _hundred_ years!"

"PRINCESS AURORA!!! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"YOU'VE BEEN MISSING FOR ONE HUNDRED YEARS! HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS ABSENCE?"

"PRINCESS! HOW IS IT THAT YOU DON'T LOOK A DAY OVER TWENTY? WHAT IS YOUR SECRET TO ETERNAL YOUTH?"

"PRINCESS AURORA!"

"PRINCESS! LOOK THIS WAY – AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

All of a sudden, the paparazzi started screaming, and not in the "OMG I LOVE YOU LET ME TAKE YOUR PICTURE" kind of way. They were screaming in the "OMG RUUUUUN!" kind of way.

"AHHHHHHHH! IT'S A BEAST!" The photographers started running away.

"ROAAAAAAAAAAAR!"could be heard over the din, and one photographer looked back.

"WAAAAIT! LOOOK! IT'S BELLE!"

There was a collective gasp from the screaming photographers who all stopped in their tracks and looked back, torn between the want to take a picture of the latest celebrity, Belle, and the need to run from the beast.

"Ladies and gentlemen," Xemnas's voice rang out clearly, "Please remain calm. The man to whom you are referring as a 'beast' in a most insulting manner is actually the ruler of the Enchanted Castle, escorting his beautiful companion, Belle."

"Gasp!" gasped the paparazzi and all the onlookers, as the crowd reassembled around the posing Belle and Beast, who had reached the photo station. The camera flashing resumed.

"I wonder who the next celebrity is going to be," Tifa whispered to Selphie, and both girls looked expectantly towards the entryway. Suddenly Tifa's eyes grew wide and she covered her mouth with her hands. "O.M.G. IT'S --- "

"AERITH?!?!?!!?!?!??!?!?" Every person in the vicinity screamed, their jaws dropping to the floor.

Cloud, stunned, ran up to the red carpet and pushed all the paparazzi out of his way. "Aerith! Aerith! I thought you were…." Cloud gave his ex-companion a large hug.

Aerith looked up dreamily. "Oh, Cloud!!!"

-Corniness omitted to better your reading experience-

Roxas stood back from the commotion, not wanting to get involved in this very…*insert some adjective* reunion. Axel also stood back with him, eyeing the shrimp cocktails recently set down on the buffet table. Suddenly Roxas jolted upright, his eyes wide: HE REMEMBERED.

"CLOOUUUUUUUUUUDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Roxas shoved past Axel and many onlookers in front of him. Then the most difficult obstacle for the angsty teenager: the paparazzi. "CLOUD!!!!! CLOUD!!!!!! OW! I'M GONNA SHOVE THAT *BEEEEP* CAMERA DOWN YOUR *BEEEEEEEEP* THROAT IF YOU DON'T MOVE OUTTA MY WAY, *BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEP*!!!!! THIS IS LIFE OR DEATH INFORMATION HERE!!!!!!" Despite Roxas's odd mental breakdown (is this the….hundred and third one now?), the paparazzi seemed unfazed and kept taking pictures of Aerith and this blonde man…Roxas had only one option left. He looked at Axel, who immediately recognized that look in Roxas' eyes, and nodded.

"!!!!!!! FIRE!!!! AH!!!!!" As you may have guessed, Axel lit one of the cameraman's pants on fire, and in that tight-knitted throng of people, it spread quite easily.

"CLOUD!!!!!!" Roxas continued on. "CLOUD!!!!! CLOUD!!!!! CLOUD!!!!! CLOUD!!! CLOOOUD!"

Cloud turned his head toward Roxas with an evil glare, who looked very anxious, like a kindergartener who had to go potty.

"_Yes?_ I heard you the first hundred times, if you cared to know." Cloud narrowed his eyes as Roxas stuttered.

"..Uh….I came to tell you…"

"SPIT IT OUT, CHILD. CAN'T YOU SEE I'M BUSY?"

Aerith looked at Roxas as well, slightly annoyed that attention had been diverted from her and Cloud, and that the paparazzi were now all jumping into the fountain a distance away.

Roxas looked down to his oversized sneakers. "I…forgot..."

-silence-

Axel, as well as many others who were paying attention to this spectacle, dropped to the floor, terribly embarrassed on behalf of poor Roxas' stupidity and memory loss.

Lexaeus, who realized now what Roxas was going to say, stepped forward and whispered something in Axel's ear, who nodded furiously, eyes wide.

"HIIIIIIIIII…!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Axel jumped ten feet in the air, spinning around while pulling out his multiple pairs of scissors from his frilly inside coat pocket and twirling them around while making a ninja-esque pose.

"CLOUD!!!!! ROXAS WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU THAT THE LEFT SIDE OF YOUR HAIR AT THE NAPE OF YOUR NECK IS 2 MILLIMETERS SHORTER THAN THE RIGHT SIDE, AND THAT YOUR FIFTH SPIKE FROM THE LEFT NEEDS TO BE ADJUSTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHA!" Axel zoomed forward, slightly squatting for aerodynamic purposes, although his heavily gelled hair completely defeated any momentum he could have gained.

"GASP!" Every person in the vicinity turned to look as Cloud's eyes widened, realizing Axel was dashing towards him, scissors raised.

"GAH!" Axel jumped, tackling Cloud and pinning him down on the floor and turning him over, face-down. "EVERYONE! THIS IS AN EVIL DEVICE! STEP AWAY!!!" Axel screamed as he struck a dramatic heroic yet devilish pose, then stabbed at Cloud's neck with a pair of sharp, red scissors…


	26. Chapter 24: THE CURSE

_**Organization Cheese**_

**A/N:** Hello all! I AM SOOOO SORRY WE HAVEN'T UPDATED IN SO LONG. Things have just been busy busy busy busy busy! However, the end is in sight—ilovefetamorethanyou and I actually have some rough idea of how it might end! Isn't that just bedazzling? This chapter is leading up to .epicness. Oh yes. Please stick with us until the end! Well, without further ado, Chapter 24! Please enjoy AND REVIEW!

**Disclaimer:** We do not own KH, FF, GG, Disney or any of its characters, or Scrooge and A Christmas Carol.

**Chapter 24:** _**THE CURSE**_

"_CLOUD!_" Aerith screamed, hands over her mouth, as she stared at the wild man attacking her precious companion. "_EVERYONE! HE'S HURTING CLOUD! GET HIM!_" Aerith pointed wildly at the two men, struggling on the ground.

At the last minute, Cloud had summoned his strength and flipped himself and Axel over, grabbing the wrist of the hand that held the scissors, clutching Axel's other arm ferociously and attempting to keep them away from himself. The two were engaged in a test of strength now, Axel attempting to overpower Cloud to reach the evil device on the back of his neck and Cloud attempting to keep Axel from murdering him.

"WHAT?" the celebrities in the crowd gasped, and several stood. Many of them – the Beast, Hercules, Mulan, Shang, Jack (King of the Pumpkin Patch), Simba (the Lion King), Aladdin, Captain Jack, Will Turner, Dumbo, and others (including some Atlanteans, but they were stuck in their giant fishbowl) were outraged, and ran to help Cloud, for they owed him a favor – Cloud had done many good deeds and defeated many straggling heartless in the days following the defeat of Organization 13 (and, of course, they were all big fans of his). Axel's eyes widened as he saw a demi-god, a beast, a lion, and an elephant all running towards him.

Yeah, this just wasn't Axel's day.

"Axel!" Roxas cried out as he saw the stampede headed in his friend's direction. He crouched low, summoning his keyblade for battle. "BACK OFF!" Roxas ran towards Axel in a mad dash to help save his friend.

"Roxas!" Sora and Riku yelled, watching as the tiny blonde boy held his keyblade up in the path of the rampaging elephant.

"We have to help them! Come on guys!" Sora waved broadly at his comrades seated at the table, his keyblade appearing in hand. Sora ran off bravely, followed closely by Riku, Demyx, Tidus, and Wakka.

"Cloud!" Tifa called as she watched the struggle between the redhead and the blonde continue, throwing her chair back and sprinting toward the red carpet, dashing over tables and knocking over chairs.

"Sora! Cloud! Oh no!" Yuffie squealed, obviously distressed. "HIYAAA!" she cried, hurling shuriken into the mass of people and creatures rushing towards the two wrestling men, not caring which side she aided, only trying to protect her friends.

Unfortunately, the barrage of throwing stars threw the riot into a frenzy, causing an all-out brawl in the middle of Queen Minnie's birthday party.

"EXCUSE ME! AHEM! EXCUSE ME!" Ansem called over the microphone, to no avail. His voice could not be heard over the rumble of fists flying, punches connecting, and the occasional book dropping onto Demyx's head. Ok, that only happened once, but hey, you have to give Zexion credit for being original, alright?

By that time, no one could tell who was fighting whom or who they were defending: Cloud or Axel. Cameras flashed and for a moment it seemed as if Axel was getting the upper hand.

Suddenly ghastly purple smoke filled the courtyard and oozed thickly into the mass of rioters. The fighting slowly stopped as the celebrities and heroes became aware of the ominous substance.

"Tell me, Xemnas," a low, female dark voice asked, oozing with malice, "Have all the guests arrived?"

The combatants brushed themselves off and turned to stare at the raised platform where Xemnas was standing with his microphone. Facing the man in the purple suit was a tall, thin, sinister woman, ghastly pale and wearing a flowing black dress.

"Maleficent," Riku hissed in a fierce whisper, raising his weapon.

"Uhh… errr…" Xemnas glanced through the scroll in his hand, scanning the names. "I believe so, Miss…?"

"Maleficent," the woman answered eerily, "Just Maleficent."

"I don't see you on this list, I'm sorry," Xemnas apologized nervously, "All the seats have been filled."

"I see," the woman smiled venomously, poison in her words. "There's no way to make space for one more guest?"

"….Ummm…err…no, my deepest regrets Madame I – "

"That's enough." She cut Xemnas off with a wave of her hand. "I understand the situation. In that case, I'll just leave my gift for the Queen with you. Where is Cloud?"

The crowd parted, revealing Cloud, pinned to the ground by Axel, who had his scissors raised in the air, ready to strike

"Cloud," Maleficent began, walking slowly towards him, "So dear to Queen Minnie. So dear to all those gathered here today. Such a pity I wasn't invited to this grand gala." She swept an arm out, gesturing. "But since I can't be in attendance, I might as well leave my mark now." Maleficent cackled for dramatic effect.

"CLOUD," she declared, pointing, "On your 25th birthday, you shall poke your hand on a needle and DIE."

The crowd was silent, all fearful of this powerful, terrible woman.

"Cloud," Sora whispered innocently, "When's your birthday?"

Cloud scrunched his eyebrows together and thought deeply. "Uhhh… ummm… I think it's…" he began counting on his fingers, "Oh! Today! Hee hee. Happy Birthday to me I guess! And Queen Minnie!" Then his eyes bugged out as he realized the implications of his sentence. "OH $#*#&!"

**(#*$%(#$*%($)#EWSDFFDSS**

"Ahem, this is the Eradication of All Needles and Syringes Services Hotline, may I help you?"

"Yes, hello, I am, uh, in need of your company's assistance. Immediately. This is a dire emergency. When are you next available? In five minutes?" Ansem had relocated to his office quickly and had telephoned this hotline. Hey, no need to worry about this curse at all if there were no needles anywhere in the vicinity, right?

"Ahem, sorry, sir, our earliest opening is in three and a half years. Would you like me to schedule you for then?"

"WHAT? WHAT IS THIS NONSENSE! THIS IS FOR THE SAKE OF QUEEN MINNIE'S SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY! DOES THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?"

"Ahem, sir, I'm sorry, but as a quality business, we do our job very thoroughly, and, usually, that means it takes an extensive amount of time to completely rid an area of all needles. I might be able to squeeze you in in two and a half months, but I can do no more."

"COME ON, YOU SCROOGE! THIS IS FOR **YOUR BOSS**!"

"Bah humbug! Good day, sir!"

-BEEP-

***$#%RJFDFOT)))))))))))))))((((((RFD)F))F)S(DF)A**

"LISTEN UP, EVERYBODY!" Ansem had made his way back to the party, and approached Cloud, who had been pacing back and forth anxiously and avoiding anything that came within twenty feet of him, even the wind…

All heads turned to face Ansem as Cloud jumped at the presence of someone within his large tollbooth of space.

"Yes…?" Cloud whimpered.

"Cloud, I know it may look embarrassing, but until we break this curse, I think I'm going to need you to put this on…" Ansem reached into his cloak and magically pulled out a large transparent blob (what could it be?).

"YOU MADE ME A SUIT OUT OF BUBBLE WRAP? OH BOY! THIS IS LIKE A DREAM!"

Sora looked up from the small cookies he was snacking on, gasped, and ran up to Cloud and Ansem giddily, as Cloud was stepping into the bubble wrap body suit.

_Pop._

_Pop pop pop._

_Pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop pop._

"SORA, STOP IT! CLOUD NEEDS PROTECTION FROM ALL POINTY OBJECTS!"

"….Sorry…." Sora looked down, ashamed, and went over to see why Axel was punching himself.

"GAH! MAN! WHAT AM I GOING TO DOOOOOOOOOOOO? NOW I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR CLOUD! But we have to unbrainwash him! But there's a curse on him! Oh man, Roxas, this is a tough one." Axel was now lying on the ground, twirling his chakram in the air. That is, until Cloud glared at him. Then Axel was forced to pull out his hair gel and start reapplying it for something to do.

Suddenly a voice boomed out of the speakers set up around the large vicinity. "ATTENTION EVERYONE!" It was Ansem. "THE KING HAS JUST NOTIFIED US THAT HE WILL BE ARRIVING WITH THE QUEEN IN APPROXIMATELY 5.5374063016057398467 MINUTES! EVERYONE, PLEASE CALM DOWN AND STAY ON THE SIDELINES OF THE RED CARPET UNTIL AFTER THE QUEEN GRACES OUR PRESENCE. WE WILL DO OUR BEST TO BE COMEPLETELY PREPARED FOR HER." There was a long pause, and Ansem turned his head to have a private conversation with some official-looking people. "Aw, *BEEEEEEEEEEP* this, we're *BEEEEEEP*ed…." The microphone went off.

Larxene then made her way over to Axel, still lying on the ground. Roxas and Sora were having a bit of trouble breathing, and sweating profusely because of the mad, fiery, yet extremely thick and depressed aura Axel was emitting.

"Gather 'round, boys. _I got a plan_. Teeheehee…."

Zexion, who had casually and gracefully leaped over there, gulped deeply, and whispered to Demyx, who had joined him, "_I don't know if I like the sound of that_…."


	27. Chapter 25: Fairy Godmother

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N:** We're back in business. Enjoy, please read and review!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts and its affiliations.

_**Chapter 25: Fairy Godmother**_

"What idea of yours could ever possibly be useful?" Zexion asked, narrowing his eyes at Larxene.

"Don't doubt me, Zexion." Larxene rolled her eyes. "I'll just cast a little counterspell. Duh. It will be just like in one of those fairy tales. Instead of dying, he'll just fall asleep for a hundred years."

"…Wouldn't you have to be his fairy godmother to do that?" Tifa asked her nervously, having returned from her fight, and being well versed in celebrity folklore.

"I'm half-fairy," Larxene stated matter-of-factly, straightening her back and standing proudly.

"What? No way! That's so rad!" Demyx exclaimed excitedly. The rest dinner table just stared at her. "I didn't know you're half fairy!"

"Chyeah! Haven't you met my little sister? Roxas, I know you have! She's told me all about you!" Larxene turned toward Roxas, who had just staggered back to the table.

"Little… sister?" Roxas asked warily, glancing at Zexion, who shrugged and frowned.

"Yeah! She's a real cutie. Yo, TINK!" Larxene yelled and waved wildly at the table labeled "Neverland." "GET OVER HERE, SQUIRT!"

Larxene's companions exchanged nervous glances as a speck of light drifted toward their table. Then, as the ball of light got closer, Roxas's eyes widened.

"It's you!" he pointed at the tiny girl with wings who was approaching the diners. "You helped me fly! In Neverland!"

"That's right! That's _my_ little sister!" Larxene smiled proudly and captured the little fairy in her cupped palms, rubbing cheeks with the girl. While Larxene was beaming with pride, Tink looked a little irritated. "Everyone, meet Tinkerbell, my one, only, and completely, utterly, absolutely adorable little sister!" She shot everyone a rare smile.

"Uhh… you guys… look so much alike!" Tifa forced a smile, a little creeped out. "Are you guys half sisters then?"

"Yup! Tink's full fairy while I'm only half fairy. Don't we look alike though?" Larxene explained cheerily.

"I… never would have guessed!" Tifa's smile was, once again, strained as she tried to overcome her disbelief.

"Anyways, I'll use my fairy powers to change Cloud's destiny. Obviously, since I'm only half fairy, I don't have the power to prevent _some_ horrible fate from happening to him, but it will have to do." Larxene pushed the sleeves of her coat up, ready to get down to business.

"Uhh… why don't we have Tink cast the spell? Or one of Princess Aurora's fairy godmothers?" Leon suggested tentatively, having joined the crowd when he saw Tinkerbell approaching.

"Due to a severe allergy to fairy dust, Tinkerbell's powers are limited to making people fly," Larxene began confidently, "As for the others, well, they can't – only one of Cloud's godmothers would be able to reverse Malificent's spell."

Leon, Tifa, Demyx, Zexion, and Roxas stared at her. "…Are you saying you're Cloud's… fairy godmother?" Leon whispered in terror.

"Yup!," she exclaimed, then her smile fell, "I inherited the position when my mother went to fairy heaven." Larxene looked very sad and somber, and blew her nose on a tissue Zexion handed to her. "She was the best fairy that ever lived."

"I'm sure she was," Tifa comforted, feeling sympathy for the poor girl. "Now go fix Cloud, honey."

"Ok!" Larxene looked a little happier, feeling needed. "Off I go!"

"Poor girl," Tifa whispered to her companions as Larxene headed towards Cloud, "No wonder she's so twisted…"

"Oh no!" Laxaeus ran up to Axel and the gang, still fretting over the whole Cloud incident.

"Something _else_ wrong too, Lexaeus? What _iiiiis_ it?" Axel moped.

"Xaldin seems to have disappeared! At first I thought he was just retrieving things from the underground stockroom for the party, but…..he hasn't been back for more than an hour!"

Sure enough, a dark portal appeared in front of the group, and out stumbled Xaldin, followed by three youngsters chasing a….. floating chocolate chip cookie. Huh. That's not odd.

"Ooh! COOKIE!" Sora started running rapidly at 60 mph within 5 seconds (wow, he's better than any sports car) and dived/jumped, spreading his arms out for aerodynamic/dramatic effect only to grab the cookie with his mouth and crash/dodge-roll land on the ground, thrilled that he actually looked partially cool doing that. His spikes were slightly dented though, from the wind he caught while running (coolness has a price).

"Heyyyy, man, that was for me, y'KNOW?" Rai yelled, forming fists. He really wanted that cookie.

"YOUUUUUUUU!" Roxas jumped up. "YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" He marched up to another young boy with a scar across his nose that had emerged out of the portal.

"Me?"

"YOU BULLY! YOU MAY NOT REMEMBER ME, BUT YOU WERE SO MEAN TO ME!"

"Gasp! Seifer?" Olettte yelped, as the three other young'uns had approached the crime scene.

"Gasp! Olette?" Seifer turned red, as he had always had a secret burning passion for Olette.

Roxas jumped and instantly turn around. "AHH!" He screamed as terrible memories of being bullied, forced to do three other people's summer homework projects, and pushed off the clock tower all rushed back to him at the sight of –DUN dun dun—Hayner, Pence, and Olette! He was about to turn and run, but all of a sudden the lights turned off, and he couldn't see a thing, as dusk had long been approaching. A deep voice boomed over the loudspeakers.

"LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, QUIET DOWN! THE KING AND QUEEN ARE APPROACHING! I UNDERSTAND WE ARE ALL UNEASY, BUT WE MUST ALL CALM OUR NERVES TO WELCOME AND SURPRISE THE QUEEN! EVERYTHING WILL BE A'ITE!"

Roxas heard Axel yell, "MARCO!" He screamed "POLOOOO!" In return, and ran towards the voice.

Mickey's gummi convertible could be heard approaching. "VROOOOOOOOOOM!" Who knew the King liked to flaunt his car? What a rebel!

Hushed whispers spread throughout the vicinity, and soon doors opening and slamming could be heard.

"Oh dear! We must get the lights turned back on in this courtyard! There must have been a power outage." Mickey said to his wife. That was the cue.

In less than a second, the lights were turned up to maximum brightness, revealing hundreds of guests. Disco balls emerged from the middle of nowhere, colored spotlights fell on Queen Minnie, balloons emerged out of the ground, confetti flew everywhere, and banners were instantly put out that read 'HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN MINNIE!"

Minnie put her hands to her mouth as she gasped, taking everything in.

Then all the guests shouted at once, "**SURPRISE****!**"


	28. Chapter 26: Surprise!

**Organization Cheese**

**Author's Note**: Hello all! We will be updating regularly from now on. Please enjoy this especially EPIC chapter that ilovefetamorethanyou and I have prepared for you all. We have been reinspired. HALLELUJAH! VIVA FETA CHEESE! ALL YOU FAITHFUL READERS OUT THERE! WE LOVE YOU ALL! EVEN IF YOU NEVER REVIEW! (hint hint hint) Please excuse my lack of sleep. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** We do not own KH, FF, Disney, BCBGMaxAzria, Disneyworld, Twilight, Edward Cullen, Easy-Bake Ovens, Nintendo, Wii, or any of their affiliations. Thank you!

_Chapter 26:_ Surprise!

"SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE!" all the guests shouted, jumping for joy and clapping when Queen Minnie walked down the red carpet.

"QUEEN MINNIE! We LOVE YOU!" everyone exclaimed as she passed them by, waving and blushing prettily, quite shocked.

"Oh, you shouldn't have," the Queen said shyly when she reached the podium and microphone, giving Xemnas a big hug, then turning and looking out at the crowd. "You guys are the best minions – I mean friends – a Queen could ever ask for. I love you guys so much!" Minnie blew a kiss to the crowd, causing the men to swoon and the women to squeal. Cameras flashed as the Queen beamed, smiling brightly at everyone, overcome with happiness.

The Queen's cheer soon eradicated all thoughts of feud and violence from everyone's mind as those who had previously been at each other's throats in defense of either Cloud or Axel shook hands, hugged and returned to their respective tables.

"Happy Birthday, honey," Mickey declared to his wife, and gave her a long and passionate kiss, in front of all the photographers and guests, amid squeals, hoots, and whistles from the crowd. Afterwards, he declared, "Let the feasting begin! And then, Minnie shall open her presents!" Immediately, the five Organization members-turned-waiters dispersed among the crowd, delivering steaming plates of appetizers and refilling drinks.

The crowd roared with approval and everyone sat down, quarrels and drama forgotten, looking forward to the grand feast ahead.

"Mmmm, this food is sooooooo good." Yuffie sighed in happiness, patting her belly, "Minnie, you are sooooo lucky to have a husband like Mickey who will throw you nice parties."

"Aww, I'm sure you'll find a man like that someday, Yuffie," Minnie remarked, giving Mickey a quick peck on the cheek. "Cloud, how are things between you and Aerith? I heard some nasty rumors that you guys were on the brink of divorce! I even heard a completely ridiculous tale that Aerith died while on the set of Gossip Girl: Radiant Garden edition! By the way, I looove that show. You are so gifted, Aerith."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," Aerith murmured demurely, blushing.

"Aerith and I are as happy as can be," Cloud declared, grabbing Aerith's hand. Once he discovered how his bubble suit inhibited him from partaking in the feast, he quickly discarded it (much to Sora's delight – the immature brunette popped every single bubble with glee) and took his place at the table, sitting between the Queen and Aerith, around the corner from Mickey and Minnie, who were at the head of the table.

Mickey pushed back his chair and stood on it. "Well, now that everyone is almost done eating, how about we have Minnie open her presents!" the small mouse yelled.

The crowd clapped in approval.

"Who would like to deliver their gift first?" Mickey inquired, looking around expectantly.

"I WOULD!" Larxene declared, standing. All eyes turned to the blonde half-fairy.

"DEAREST MINNIE AND CLOUD!" She began, raising her glass. "I would like to thank you for your kindness on this day, your joint birthday!" The crowd murmured. "Therefore, I would like to give a very special gift, one of dire importance! HOWEVER! To do so requires revealing my true identity!" Suddenly, Larxene whipped a fairy wand out from under her Organization Cloak. "CLOUD! I AM YOUR FAIRY GODMOTHER!"

Those in the crowd who were not privy to Larxene's plans gasped, and Cloud's eyes grew wide. Suddenly, Larxene rose into the air, floating over to Cloud, showering the table with pixie dust. "Cloud," Larxene declared softly, "I'm sorry I wasn't a bigger presence in your life. I deeply regret not getting to know you." The half-fairy began to tear up. "I was just a little girl when my mother, your original fairy – *sniff* – godmother, went to fairy – *sniff* - heaven. I was so overwhelmed, you must – sniff – forgive me!"

"It's okay," Cloud comforted the girl, pulling her down into his arms, tears falling freely from his eyes, "I'm so – sniff – happy!" The two bawled together for a good minute, the queen pulling out her handkerchief and dabbing daintily at her eyes.

Suddenly, the courtyard was filled with the sounds of noses being blown and the sniffles of crying guests.

"So… beautiful," Demyx whispered, blowing his nose viciously.

Even Leon had to turn his head so no one would notice his man-tears.

Larxene pulled out of Cloud's hug. "To make up for my disservice to you, I, Larxene, shall save your life, Cloud! I shall thwart Maleficent's curse! Leave it to me!" Larxene rose high above the table, showering the guests with pixie dust.

"CLOUD!" she declared proudly, "MY BELOVED GOD-SON! ON YOUR 25TH BIRTHDAY, YOU SHALL NOT, CONTRARY TO POPULAR OPINION, DIE!"

The crowd gasped, not expecting this turn of events. Malificent, somewhere in the Universe, watched through her crystal ball and hissed.

Axel silently stood and, unnoticed by the crowd whose attention was only on Larxene, creeped over to Cloud, awaiting his chance to destroy the evil device attached to the blonde's neck after Larxene undid the curse.

"NO! ON YOUR 25TH BIRTHDAY, CLOUD, YOU WILL POKE YOUR FINGER ON SPIKY HAIR **AND AERITH WILL DIE!"**

"This is preposterous!" Minnie cried, slamming her fist on the table in a most unladylike manner, the sound lost amid the murmurs of the crowd.

"WHAT!" Cloud cried, standing , pushing his chair back and throwing his arms up in the air, "What do you mean! How could you do this, Larxene? I thought you were my fairy godmo – " Cloud's eyes rolled into the back of his head and he fainted.

"Oops," Axel rubbed his hair sheepishly as he ran a hand over one of his spikes, "I guess I used too much hair gel."

The crowd stared at Axel, who had, unbeknownst to anyone, been standing behind Cloud, waiting to strike, when the cursed man had thrown his hands up in the air, accidentally poking his finger with on one of Axel's hair spikes.

The crowd's attention was quickly diverted, however, by Queen Minnie's desperate shriek.

"Aerith!" the Queen cried, rushing over, tears streaming from her eyes as she kneeled next the fallen girl, who had crumpled to the ground as soon as Cloud's finger had met Axel's hair spike. "Aerith! Open your eyes! Please!"

Sadly, however, Aerith was unresponsive, her cheeks becoming soaked with Queen Minnie's tears.

A mass chaos erupted. Everyone rushed up to Aerith; Lexaeus and the other stronger Organization members tried to hold many of the guests back, but their actions were in vain. A large throng of people surrounded the unconscious, possibly dead, Aerith.

"Is she breathing?" Yuffie cried, recalling all the times she had shared with Aerith in Traverse Town.

"Aerith, hang in there!" Could be heard, along with "Oh God!" and "How could one be so cruel?"

The din awakened Cloud, who jolted up when he felt the presence of all these people around him. He saw Aerith and gasped. He tried to get up, but Axel had crept up behind him once again with scissors. With all the guests focusing on their beloved Aerith, no… one…would….ever….notice…

Axel's hand was so fast it could barely be seen, yet lethally accurate, and the final glowing device was finally gone. Cloud collapsed once again.

"HALT, EVERYBODY!" The King squeaked loudly as he made his way through the crowd. He snapped and his voice was immediately amplified by a microphone pinned to his shirt. "Minnie, I'm sorry this had to have happened on your birthday. I wanted everything to work out perfect for you. However, it still can—I'll make it happen. The only thing is, if I make everything right again, I won't have a birthday gift for you today."

"Oh, sweetie, you don't have to give me anything! This party was enough for a _lifetime_ of birthday gifts! Sugar-puff, you do what you have to do."

Leon fled the scene sobbing, as he couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He had a soft spot for the King and Queen. (Can't you just accept it? Cool dudes cry too!)

"Ahem. Okay, everyone. I will save you all the whole story, as it would take 25 chapters to explain, but here's the gist of it." Mickey announced to the party. "MY MINIONS—AHEEEEEEEMMMM—DEAREST FRIENDS AND GUESTS! I HAVE SPENT MONTHS PLANNING OUT NOT ONLY THIS SURPRISE PARTY, BUT THE EXPERT PLAN THAT GOT EVERYONE HERE, AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, GOT MINNIE'S PRESENT HERE. I KNOW THAT MANY OF YOU HAVE HAD A LONG, TORTUROUS, EXHAUSTING JOURNEY—"

Riku interrupted with a very loud, "AMEN!"

Mickey shout Riku a glare as he continued, "BUT DO NOT BE UPSET. YOU HAVE ALL SERVED A PURPOSE IN THIS GRANDE, EPIC SCHEME. KAIRI, EVEN YOUR PINK MOHAWK."

"My pink mohawk!" Kairi exclaimed, happy to be brought back into the story, as no one _really_ cares about her contributions to the storyline(although if you will refer back to chapter _, if it weren't for the mohawk, the journeyers may have spent another 5 chapters looking for Castle D'Italia. That would not have been pretty.).

"YOU SEE, FRIENDS, MY GIFT FOR MINNIE WAS…"

"Disneyworld?"

"Cinderella's castle?"

"Easy-bake oven?"

"A BCBGMAXAZRIA DIAMOND-STUDDED DRESS?"

"Underwear with hand-sewn shapes of your head?"

"An espresso machine?"

"Feta cheese?"

"A Wii!"

"The Twilight movie deluxe edition?"

"Edward Cullen?"

"The KH graphic novel series?"

"A waffle maker?

"OMELETTES!" (Hayner shouted that, but Olette quickly slapped him and blushed, and Seifer gave Hayner a deathly glare for making his secret burning passion upset)

"JUUUUSSSSTTT TELLLLL UUUUUSSSSS!" The crown as a whole shouted.

"Geez, I was going to…." Mickey muttered. "AHEM AHEM! ANYWAYS, I WILL TELL YOU BEFORE I GET ANY WIERDER GUESSES THROWN AT ME. I HAD PLANNED TO GIVE HER THE GREATEST GIFT ANYONE COULD ASK FOR—THAT ANYONE COULD EVER ATTAIN—THE CHEESE OF YOUTH!"

Gasps came from every corner of the courtyard.

"Gasp! Mickey! You didn't have to!" Minnie rushed to her husband and hugged him. "Now, I sure am happy, but what would I ever use the Cheese of Youth for? I certainly wouldn't eat it! It's too precious! Now you go do what you have to do with it!"

"Now, you see, the Cheese of Youth lacks a definite form. Right now, it is harbored by none other than…." (this is the suspenseful part) "OUR HERO CLOUD!"

"GASP!"

"GAAAAASP!"

"!"

"*BEEP BEEP BEEEPBEEEEEP **BLEEEPITY BLEEP BLEEP BLEEEEEEEP*!" Riku was having a massive fit that he had come all this way to rescue Cloud when he really didn't need rescuing at all, as it was THE KING HIMSELF that had abducted Cloud and brought him to this castle and GASP SHOCK GASP was it the King who had brainwashed all of the Organization members as well! (That, my friend, will be explained in due time.)(Yes, there is an explanation, and always has been, even if you, the reader, don't believe us.)

As soon as the audience quieted down, the King renewed speaking. "So, I will use my power to take the Power of Cheese out of Cloud's depths and transfer it to Aerith, so she will be able to live again, as a whole human somebody." He nodded solemnly and smiled to Larxene, who had floated off into the distance, out of sight. She winked back at him.

"What do you mean 'as a whole human somebody?'"

"Oh, nothing, nothing. My brain got the best of my speech." Mickey said as he reached into his cloak and pulled out a wizard's hat and a wand. "BIBBETY BOBBETY BOO!" With a wave of his wand, a bright glow emanated from the stick, then moved over to Cloud, then to Aerith. However, after a couple moments, the light faded, and neither Aerith nor Cloud moved.

"Something's not right! What happened! WHY AREN'T MY POWERS WORKING?"

DUN DUN DUN.

Once all the characters heard that suspenseful sound effect, they all turned to see someone walking out of the remains of the crumbled Castle D'Italia's base floor, striding confidently, casually, evilly cackling.

"SEPHIROTH!"


	29. Chapter 27: EVIL AND GOODNESS! UNITE!

ORGANIZATION CHEESE

**Author's Note**: Hello all! _Ilovefetacheese_ here! Man, I must apologize again for making you wonderful faithful readers wait yet again, but hey! It'll totally be worth it when you read this chapter! The end of the OC is drawing near…do I smell….A SEQUEL?

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Disney, Prada, or any of their affiliations. Man, we haven't mentioned Gossip Girl in so long! This is madness! *starts evilly plotting next chapter*

**Chapter 27:** EVIL AND GOODNESS! UNITE!

Sephiroth's eyes flicked back and forth as he took in the situation. _Girl, auburn hair. Dead_. _Vaguely familiar. Déjà vu_. He kept looking. _Cloud. Crying like a little __**girl**__. Disgusting_. Then, something strange piqued his interest. _Girl, blonde. Sparkling and flying, laughing like a maniac. Peculiar._ All of sudden, he noticed a familiar face to the side. _NAMI-BABY! Weeping! Oh noes! I must go and hold her in my big, strong arms_.

"…Sephiroth…" Mickey whispered, looking up at the tall, elegant, silver-haired man who was approaching the chaotic scene. Sephiroth glanced at Mickey in mild curiosity. "It's you… old buddy! How've ya been, bud? Sit yer && down and let's have a few beers for old time's sake! I haven't seen ya since… uh, well, in a long time!"

Sephiroth's face erupted into a beaming smile.

Everyone who had ever known Sephiroth stood staring, in shock that such an evil, evil man could ever smile so brightly. Well, except Naminé. She fainted from love. Typical.

"MICKEY!" He bent down and grasped the mouse in a big, strong hug, "I missed you so -"

And then, the embracing pair froze. The audience could only watch as the pair emanated a blinding, half black, half white light, both sets of eyes glowing.

"Sephy!" Naminé called out in fear, having recovered from her fainting spell.

The people gathered around, covering their eyes as the light grew even brighter. Suddenly, it was gone, and the duo fell to the ground, rubbing their heads.

"I feel…" Sephy voiced weakly from the ground, blinking. "I feel…"

"Yes, how DO you feel, Lord Sephiroth?" a nosy reporter butted in, shoving a microphone in Sephiroth's face.

"Irritant," came a low growl as Mickey bounced off the ground, grabbing the microphone out of the woman's hand and whirling the cord around like a whip. "Get off my land, or suffer the consequences."

"Your – Your Majesty, I didn't – I didn't mean -! "

"OUT! NOW." The look on the King's face was ferocious, and his voice instilled fear in the hearts of everyone watching.

"What's going on?" Tifa cried as she shoved through the crowd, "Your Eminence! This is unlike you!"

"Really, Tifa? I feel better than I have in _ages_." His voice had a certain vehemence in it that gave Tifa shivers.

"Minnie, darling, could I have a glass of water? Does anybody have a Tylenol? I have a splitting headache!" Sephiroth interrupted, breaking the tension.

"I've got one." Zexion offered, handing him a small tablet.

"Thanks, chum." Sephiroth swallowed the pill, along with the water Minnie brought him. "Ah, thanks Minnie, that hit the spot."

At that point, everybody was staring at Sephiroth.

"Lord Sephiroth…" Tifa tentatively stepped forward, a question in her voice, "How do you feel?"

"Aww, thanks, sweetheart, for asking," Sephiroth grinned and ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. "Actually, right now, I feel…" He paused, contemplating. "I feel…"

The crowd leaned forward, listening intently.

"I feel NICE! Benevolent, good, happy, generous, kind and polite! Nicer than I have in ages! I certainly don't feel like an evil genius. Although, I don't know why I would." Sephiroth chuckled to himself.

"ALL RIGHT, WHAT IN THE WIDE #&%&% WORLD IS GOING ON?" Riku spluttered, at his maximum tolerance for the night.

"I was afraid of this…" Minnie uttered ominously, a frown creasing her face. "Mickey dearest, could you come over here?" she called to her husband, who was in the middle of a scene of chaos, reporters running from him, frightened.

"What?" Mickey questioned indignantly, looking irritated. "I'm busy." Mickey let loose another punch. "Whoops," he cackled, "looks like this one will need a nose job!"

"It will only take a minute, dear," Minnie coaxed sweetly, an unspoken threat in her voice.

"Coming, dear," Mickey called, heading over after knocking out a daring reporter who was trying to interview him. He punched a camera on his way to Minnie.

"What do you wa– oof!" Mickey fell to the ground as Minnie delivered a precise roundhouse kick to his abdomen, followed by a chop to the head which resulted in an instant K.O.

"Alrighty then," Minnie declared, pulling off her gloves, "now the threat has been neutralized."

"Ah, Minnie, you are quite the woman. I wish Naminé would drop-kick me once in a while," Sephiroth commented, an arm around his beloved Naminé, who giggled. "Maybe then I wouldn't set out on those awful conquests of evil. I really don't know what overcame me back then. I truly detest violence."

Riku slammed his fist on the table. "Minnie, we need an explanation, NOW."

"Of course, of course." Minnie cleared her throat and brought out her handkerchief, dabbing at her eyes. "You see, my dears, my beloved husband has a deep, dark secret that I am about to reveal."

The crowd shushed and listened intently.

"King Mickey is approximately 99% good… and 1% evil."

"NOOOOOO!" Sora wailed.

"That dirty *beep*!" Riku cried, outraged.

"Yes, yes, I know this is most shocking," Minnie nodded understandingly, a single tear escaping her left eye, "but the story does not end there. You see, Mr. Sephiroth is 99% evil and 1% good."

A single gasp escaped the crowd.

"So, when the King and Mr. Sephy were reunited, their close contact initiated what you would call a 'personality switch.' Now, Mickey is 99% evil while Mr. Sephiroth is 99% good," Minnie finished calmly.

"So… what now?" Sora wondered aloud. "HOW CAN WE FIX THIS?"

"Wha-wha-wha-What are you talking about, dearest hero? I want to stay wonderful and jolly forever!" Sephiroth pleaded.

"But the King cannot stay evil! This is madness! He is a sincere, bona fide philanthropist and leader! He must return to his original state!" Yuna yelled (she gets very emotional about these things).

"Now, now, dear, calm down…I will find a solution, and everything will be restored to normal, if not better, but FIRST, we have other business to take care of. Sephiroth!" Minnie exclaimed, calling over the evil-turned-good villain.

"Yes, my Queen?" Sephiroth did a curtsy-like gesture in front of Minnie.

"Uh….I wouldn't do that if I were you, Sephiroth. It's not very…manly…" Riku butted in. Sephiroth slowly turned his head, and Riku was expecting a full-blown evil glare to meet his gaze. Rather, Sephiroth giggled sheepishly and smiled at Riku, his teeth, never before shown to the public (except five minutes ago), blindingly white.

"So…happy….I CAN'T TAKE IT!" Riku crumpled in disgust.

"Anyway, Sephiroth, if the readers can recall, Mickey was about to use the Cheese of Youth to restore Aerith to life. However, he could not because you walked in!" Minnie started to explain calmly, cameras still flashing and rolling in front of her.

"That is correct." Sephy replied and nodded.

All of a sudden, Tifa ran up to them, cutting through the throng of onlookers and photographers. " Now, why is that, Sephiroth? Is it because….YOU possess the Cheese of Youth!" she yelled.

"GASP! GASP! GAAAAAASP!" That inquiry was met by many gasps from the audience.

Sephiroth looked down at his feet (adorned in Prada's latest), and said quietly, "Yes…it's true. I TOOK IT! I STOLE IT FROM CLOUD! I'VE HAD IT ALL ALONG! SNIFF! I'M SO SOOOORRRY…"

Tifa smiled at her clever way of revealing the news she had known all along.

"GAAAAAAASP!"

"NOOOO!"

"YOU NO-GOOD *BEEP BEEEEEEEP BEEP*!"

"LIAR! SAY IT AIN'T SO!"

Minnie turned to the crowd, starting to get irritated. "SHUSH, PEOPLE, WE'RE TRYING TO PROGRESS THE STORY HERE!"

The din quieted.

"SO," Minnie continued, "Sephiroth, you must do what Mickey could not. You have to summon the Cheese of Youth and save the day! It's the only way this story can end peacefully and happily!"

"…Very well." Sephiroth drew his sword, and held the hilt against his chest. He started humming quietly, meditating, and soon enough, a light started emanating from his sword, surrounding him, soon spreading to engulf those around him, as well as Aerith and Cloud on the ground a few meters away.

-cliché video game sound effect—

All fell silent. The light dimmed. The flashing cameras ceased. Each person held his breath, wanting this effort to succeed.

Sephiroth fell to his knees, and Naminé ran to his aid. Minnie rushed over to Aerith and kneeled beside her.

"Come on, Aerith! This has to work! You have to wake up!" Aerith did not stir. Neither did Cloud.

Leon and Yuffie, Aerith's comrades from Traverse Town and Radiant Garden, pushed their way through the crowd to see her. Yuffie sat and took Aerith's hand.

"Aerith! Open your eyes!" Leon begged her.

"The Cheese of Youth has left me. I can feel it. I do not know why she is not waking up." Sephiroth admitted, shaking his head.

At that moment, Cloud's luscious blonde eyelashes fluttered.

"Hey!" Yuffie yelped, "Look!"

Cloud grunted but sat up. "Where….am I? The last thing I remember….is…..the Pyrenees…and….Vincent in a tutu…and…..and….a…." He looked around him, trying to get his bearings, when he saw Sephiroth crumpled over, weak, and Aerith, lifeless, next to him.

"YOU! YOU! YOU TOOK HER! YOU KILLED ME AND—"

"Aw, Cloud, let's not get ahead of ourselves." Larxene flew down from above. "You've been brainwashed this whole time. Leave it to me, your fairy godmother, to clear things up!" She floated above them all, and in a snap, disappeared, leaving behind nothing but pixie dust, slowly, softly, silently, drifting down upon them all.


	30. Axel, At Your DeBrainwashing Service!

**Organization Cheese**

**A/N:** Hello wonderful faithful readers! Thank you for sticking with us so long! Wow, THIRTY chapters! We never in a million years thought Organization Cheese would be so long! Well, the end really is in sight, so please stay tuned a bit longer for an awesome ending and an EPIC prologue which we have been planning since we started the story. Please please please review! Send us some love!

**NOTE:** All our asterisks (the *** separating story sections) in previous chapters have disappeared…sorry for your poor brains' confusion. We will get around to fixing it….someday.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own KH, FF, Disney, or any of their affiliations.

**Chapter 28:** _Axel, At Your De-Brainwashing Service!_

"Where did she go?" Yuffie wondered out loud, still staring in awe at the place in the sky where Larxene had disappeared.

"I'm right here!" came Larxene's voice from behind Yuffie, who promptly screeched, scared within an inch of her life.

"Now…" Larxene said gently, kneeling next to Aerith's lifeless body, "It's no wonder the Cheese of Youth could not help you fully, poor child." Larxene put her head on Aerith's chest, listening for a heartbeat.

Tifa, Leon, and Yuffie looked at the half-fairy apprehensively.

"She lives," Larxene declared, looking up sadly as sighs of relief could be heard from poor Aerith's friends, "But she will not awaken until her heart is returned to her."

"What? What do you mean?" Tifa cried sincerely, concerned for her friend.

"What I mean, is," Larxene stood up and looked around, "Your friend here is merely a Nobody, a body without a heart. The Cheese of Youth succeeded in that it revived her dead body. Because of my counterspell, Aerith _did _die when Cloud pricked his finger. The Cheese of Youth brought her back to life, but the Cheese has no power over hearts. Hearts contain the strongest force in the universe and cannot be controlled by the likes of superior aged cheese. During her entire time here with us, she has been a Nobody, a shadow of her former self."

"I… I don't understand…" Tifa put her head in her hands, trembling.

"To put it simply, she was in cahoots with Sephiroth and Organization XIII this entire time," Larxene uttered gravely, to everyone's shock.

"NO!" Tifa cried, lunging toward Sephiroth, pulling him into the air with a fist entwined in the neck of his shirt, "Why didn't you tell me? How could you do this to her? And after I did _all your dirty work!_ I brainwashed so many people for you, lied so many times, led so many poor souls here and WHAT DID I GET IN RETURN? YOU USED MY BEST FRIEND!" She shook Sephiroth menacingly, who looked at her in terror.

"Tifa…?" Cloud inquired softly, looking at Tifa with hurt in his eyes. "You… you worked for him too?"

"Did I work for him?" Tifa asked angrily, swinging Sephiroth around, "DID I WORK FOR HIM? I WAS THE ONE WHO BRAINWASHED YOU, CLOUD!"

"Oh…" Sora whispered.

"My…" Riku uttered.

"…GOD!" Sora, Riku, and Kairi finished together, in unison.

"Why? How could you? How could you betray me? _He killed Aerith the first time, Tifa_. How could you help him?"

"Geez, you think I don't know that, Cloud? I never would have gotten involved in this whole plot if King – King – oh my God…" Tifa whispered, sinking to the ground, releasing Sephiroth from her grasp. "Oh no. Zexion… you were right… Zexion was right! King Mickey is behind everything! _HE_ told me to work for Sephiroth! **HE** told me it would save Cloud and Aerith and help delay the return of Organization XIII! _KING MICKEY_ told me that this birthday party was a gathering of allies that would restore order to the universe and that _Lord Sephiroth_," she hissed cruelly, "is actually a really nice guy underneath it all."

"You should have listened to me when you had the chance," Zexion commented, emerging from the crowd, "Except _some people_ thought it would be much more important and amusing to watch me do ballet."

"You can't blame us, Zexy," Naminé spoke up from her spot next to Sephiroth, where she was cooing over him, "You are really quite graceful."

"I've read all the history books, and let me assure you, King Mickey's 1% evilness has manifested itself often throughout history," Zexion asserted, and then opened up his Lexicon.

"My husband _was_ very mischevious in his youth," Minnie whispered sadly, looking at the ground.

"I can't… I can't take all this in…" Tifa moaned, clutching her forehead, "My head…" Her hair slipped over her shoulders as she curled up, knees pulled to her chest.

"Looks like someone's been brainwashed a little too long and now the brainwasher's control over you is fading…" a voice boomed out from nearby, "Tifa, dear, your lustrous black hair is a teensy bit uneven… 5 millimeters too long on the left, I'd say… HOW ABOUT I TRIM THAT FOR YOU?" Axel yelled as he plunged a pair of scissors into the golden glowing device on the back of Tifa's neck.

* * *

"Great, so what now? I'm kinda tired from epically journeying for this long, and I would really like to go home and sleep in my bed right about now…" Riku yawned.

"NO! No one can leave until everything is right again! Guys! There has to be a way!" Yuffie cried, looking at Larxene for some kind of clue or an answer to everyone's troubles.

"Well…" Larxene started, "Cloud…When you were killed…you went up to the Promised Land where Aerith was. Somehow both of you guys came back, but only you came back whole. Can you remember what happened?"

Cloud looked down, cogitating. "I...remember Aerith there, telling me I was given a second chance. Then, I told her I wanted to take her with me, and at the last minute this figure…I pulled…." His head shot up.

"YOU." He gave Roxas the evilest glare his angelic blue eyes could possibly muster, sending chills down Roxas's spine.

"Heh….uh….yes?" Roxas was a little freaked out about this weird attention. WHAT DID HE DO!

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HER! YOU WERE THERE! YOU PIERCED HER HEART."

Everyone was silent, waiting to hear the next bit of breaking news.

"What…what? What are you talking about?" I've…never been…_dead._"

Silence.

_Oh, $^#$&#^%. _

Suddenly everything came rushing back to Roxas, the time before him and the whole Organization were revived by the very Cheese itself, the time he was merely a spirit transcending time boundaries, trying to make peace.

Roxas fell to his knees, gripping his head with his hands.

"The key….I TURNED IT THE WRONG WAYYYYY!"

"Wha…what do you mean, Rox?" Axel leaned down and put his hand on Roxas's back.

"Before I was revived, I was a wandering spirit, using my keyblade to "seal" worlds, although that's just the corny phrase I used to mean "solve problems"….yeah, and I was called to the Promised Land one time, by Aerith, I suppose. Cloud had been killed, and he had joined Aerith there. However, I had to unlock his heart to send him back to the world of the living, and he grabbed Aerith in front of him just a split second before I pierced his heart with my keyblade to send him back. The thing is…AERITH WAS FACING TOWARDS HIM, a different direction! To revive someone, I have to turn the key clockwise in their heart...and that's what I did for Cloud…but…Aerith was facing him, not me! So I turned the key in her heart….COUNTERCLOCKWISE! I'M SORRY, AERITH! THAT'S WHY YOU'RE A NOBODYYYYYYYYYYYYY….." Roxas sobbed, feeling like every single thing that had happened on this journey was his entire fault.

Everyone gasped. Roxas felt hundreds of eyes evilly boring holes into his skull, and only started sobbing harder. Axel patted his back comfortingly.

"Awwww, don't worry, Roxas! We can fix this! We're both keybearers, duhh!" Sora jumped forward from the crowd, and landed right in front of Roxas. Roxas looked up hopefully as a keyblade appeared in Sora's hand and shone brightly, brilliantly, bravely in the sun.

Roxas rose.


	31. Chapter 29: Heartbreaker

**ORGANIZATION CHEESE**

_A/N: Hello ladies and gents! It's been a while, hasn't it? ilovefetacheese and I would like to sincerely apologize for taking so loooooooooooooong to update… TOO MUCH HOMEWORK. SRSLY. But, we PROMISE we WILL finish Organization Cheese, never fear. We are committed to completing it, no matter how long it takes. But, it is summer now, so no worries, it will be done soon and we'll be updating often. Yay! Now ON WITH THE CHEESE!_

_DISCLAIMER: We do not own Kingdom Hearts._

CHAPTER 29: Heartbreaker

"Ugh, I have an awful headache," Tifa moaned, sitting up, awakened from all the commotion and the sounds of Roxas' tears. "What's going on?" Tifa inquired, looking around hazily.

"You're at Minnie's birthday party. Mickey is 99% evil now. You've been debrainwashed," Zexion explained bluntly, looking down at the girl.

"Brain…washed?" Tifa looked up at Zexion drowsily, not comprehending. Suddenly, her eyes went wide. "Oh! Sora! Roxas!"

"Tifa? You awake over there?" Sora called out, skipping over. "We were just trying to think of a way to save Aerith!"

"You mean I was trying to think of a way to save Aerith while you were writing down Minnie's recipe for key lime pie!" Roxas fumed, waving his keyblade around.

"Hey, that pie has special restorative powers! It could save Aerith!" Sora insisted, pouting.

"Guys! Stop bickering!" Tifa cried, standing up, "I think I know how to save Aerith!"

"REALLY?" the two teenaged boys exclaimed in unison, swiveling to face Tifa simultaneously.

"Yes! Listen! The last thing King Mickey said before he brainwashed me was…" She paused for dramatic effect.

"YES?" Roxas and Sora leaned in, eager to hear Mickey's wisdom.

"ASK ZEXION!"

"WHAT?" Sora yelped in surprise.

"And how is that supposed to help us?" Roxas asked skeptically.

Zexion merely quirked an eyebrow. "Finally, someone in this room who has some sense. As the official librarian and historian of the United Federation of Mickeyan Worlds, may I be of service to you, Madame Lockhart?" Zexion bowed politely.

"Zexion! Do you know how to return Aerith's heart to her?" Tifa demanded, insistent.

"Of course, Madame, such a simple task is well within the capacities of these two dim-witted keybearers," Zexion replied indifferently.

"How? How? How? How? How? HOW? HOW?" Sora asked incessantly, jumping up and down like a two-year-old, full of excitement.

"If you would quiet for a moment, you twittering buffoon, I will explain."

Sora immediately silenced himself.

"Now, Sora, Roxas, go and get a microphone and stand over Aerith's body," Zexion demanded, pointing first to the microphone Xemnas was holding and then to Aerith.

After the two had completed the assigned task, Zexion continued. "Now," he commanded, "Sing Celine Dion's smash hit My Heart Will Go On."

The two boys looked at each other and shrugged.

Three minutes later, most of the guests were plugging their ears with their fingers and cowering under tables.

"Sora, you have the worst voice I've ever heard," Zexion muttered when the duo were done, "However, Roxas, you sing like an angel. Now, Roxas, stand in front of Cloud, and you, Sora, stand behind Cloud. That's right… now, plunge your keyblades straight into CLOUD'S HEART!"

The two boys did as they were told, their keyblades touching within Cloud's body.

"Turn them RIGHT for one full rotation. Now LEFT for two. And… RIGHT again… and… voilà!"

Tifa, Axel, Xemnas, Minnie, Olette, Pence, Hayner, Demyx, Naminé, Sephiroth, Yuffie, Leon, Cid, Yuna, Paine, Rikku, Riku, Repliku, Kairi, Tidus, Selphie, Wakka, Lexaeus, Vexen, Marluxia, Larxene, Luxord, Saix, Xaldin, Xigbar, Auron, Seifer, Raijin, Fuu, Sora and Roxas all gasped when streams of light emanated from within Cloud's heart, illuminating the courtyard. Cloud's eyes closed as the warm light filled him with a pleasant sensation.

"Behold… the purest, brightest heart of them all," Zexion murmured, smiling to himself. He watched as from Cloud's chest arose a perfect, pink heart, which gently wafted into the air and towards Aerith.

"What a lovely heart…" Minnie whispered, tearing up again. The crowd watched in suspense as the pulsing heart drifted away from Cloud. Minnie's attention was diverted, however, when from the corner of her eye she saw her previously-unconscious husband rise.

"'Yer mine, now!" Mickey cackled and swooped the heart into a bottle, corking it with relish.

"Mickey!" Minnie yelled, "Give me that bottle!"

"Sorry, sweetheart, but I got universes to destroy an' this heart is gonna help me!" Mickey's tail twitched with glee as he smiled at the glass bottle. "Nothin' like the power of a good heart to getcha' started!"

"Mickey!" Minnie admonished, "GIVE ME THAT HEART!"

"Aw, Minnie, I'll bring you back one ten times better from every universe I ravage. Just be a little patient!" Mickey exclaimed, displeased.

"HAND IT OVER, HUBBY!" Minnie commanded fiercely, reaching for the bottle.

"No!" Mickey retorted, holding the bottle over his head.

"GIVE IT!" Minnie insisted ferociously, continuing to grab for the container. Every time she would make a swipe for the bottle, though, her husband would move it out of her reach. And so, this childish game continued, until finally Minnie made a daring dive to the right, in the middle of which she switched to towards the left in an attempt to fake out Mickey and thus attain the prize. However, although the trick did indeed surprise Mickey, it didn't mean that the plan worked as it should.

Minnie let out a strangled cry as the bottle housing Aerith's heart fell from Mickey's grasp and plummeted toward the ground...


	32. Chapter 30: The Domino Effect

_**Organization Cheese**_

**A/N:** Heeelllllloooooooo there, readers! Ilovefetamorethanyou and I are super excited about summer, because we are back in the fanfic business! Yeehaw! The end of Organization Cheese, I fear, is in sight. It will break my heart to mark it complete….but…..what is that smell? Is it….feta cheese? Well, other than that….is it….A SEQUEL?

Anyways, please please please please please share your thoughts and shed some light on us as to what think about our story in a review. It really means a lot to us! The next chapter should be up soon!

**Disclaimer: **We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Gossip Girl, Final Fantasy, Disney, or any of their affiliations.

**Chapter 30: The Domino Effect**

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Sora shouted as he ran to snatch the falling bottle midair.

_Kerplunk_

Unfortunately, Sora didn't quite make it there because he tripped on Demyx, who was still crouching and tearing up over his unrequited love towards Namine. Fortunately, when Sora sent himself flying through the air, he accidentally tackled Roxas, who stumbled backwards, thus bumping into Axel, who jumped because he didn't like people touching his GG trench coat, and hit Lexaus in the head with his deathly-sharp hair spikes (he had just gelled them before the party began), causing Lexaus to be instantly KO'ed and making him fall over flat on his face. On his way to the ground, Lexaeus's large figure hit Mickey and Riku as well since they were all standing in such close proximity, and down together they went. Mickey was thrown to the side, bumping quite heavily into Sephy, and Riku was dragged under with Lexaus, landing on his back, right under where the bottle was falling, just in time for it to land safely, but with a large 'plop!' on Riku's stomach.

"Ughhhh... What just happened?" Riku was in a daze as he had probably hit his head in the fall as well.

"DUDE. THAT. WAS. AWEEEESOOOOME!" Yuffie squealed.

Before anyone else could make sense of the domino effect they had just witnessed, Sephiroth rushed up to the toppled pile of people and snatched the bottle into his own hands.

"Ah, Riku, it's a good thing your stomach provided so much cushion for the heart's safe fall!" Sephiroth exclaimed.

"Wha...are you calling me FAT?" Riku was about to punch someone, but was interrupted.

"Heyy...give that back!" Mickey yelped.

"No way! What do you think this is, a Zelda fan fiction? Who keeps major organs in glass bottles? Silly, we're not using it as a potion... this is for Aerith's sake!" Sephiroth then smacked Mickey upside the head, playfully, but quite hard, and the King kept his mouth shut after that, seeming to calm down and enter a sort of trance-like mood.

Sephy turned around dramatically, with the hair-cloak-neck-head-flip and eye-teeth gleam and hair-shine and sparkly aura and glorious background music and all. Because he's worth it.

"Let's go end this series once and for all."

He walked gracefully to meet Zexion eye-to-eye.

"Zexion."

"Yes?"

"WHAT NOW?"

"Um, well...now, Sora and Roxas, you guys must cross your two key blades and lay them on the ground, and place the heart-huh?" Zexion saw that Mickey seemed to be stirring out of his trance, while a gold gleam appeared in Sephiroth's eyes.

"Muhaha! The power of the heart is MINE!"

"Sephy, what are you talking about?" Queen Minnie cried, then turned pale. "Oh no... Have you two switched personalities again?"

"Yes, that's right, you fools, Evil Sephy is back and better than ever, now that I have the purest heart in all the land in my possession!" Sephiroth declared, holding the bottle up so that it shined in the light of the moon. "Now, where to begin...? Which one of you wants to die first, eh?" he cackled a bit, before turning to Sora. "I think I'll take care of you first, you irritating twit." Sephiroth approached Sora, who looked like he wanted to crawl under the table and cry.

"Err... Uhhh... You really don't have to..." Sora put his hands up and backed away slowly, looking nervous and twitching slightly.

"Oh, but I must. You've made life so... Bothersome. I can only return the favor," Sephiroth spoke soothingly, a wicked grin on his face.

"Sephiroth Christopher Carlos Giovanni Antoine Shinwoo VI! What would your mother say if she knew what foul deeds you're up to?" a girl's voice rang out from the entryway to the courtyard. Sephiroth stopped in dead, a mere three feet from the quivering Sora.

"Who... what do you know about my mother?" Sephiroth yelled, whirling around to face the newcomer.

All eyes turned toward to stare at the teenage girl who had just arrived at the party, standing at the beginning of the red carpet.

"Xi -Xion! What are you doing here? Why aren't you with Mommy, um, I mean Mom?" Sephiroth stuttered, for the first time in this adventure looking nervous himself.  
"Xion!" Roxas, Axel, Demyx, and the rest of Organization XIII exclaimed.

"What are you doing here?" Roxas questioned excitedly, "Where have you been? We missed you!"

"Yeah! What took you so long?" Axel inquired with a grin.

"I thought you were dead!" Demyx chimed in, running over to give Xion a big hug.

"Everybody was dead, Demyx. Please get your act together and get back over here. In case you haven't noticed, we're in the middle of an unpleasant situation." Zexion glared at Demyx.

"Oh yeah... I forgot about that," Demyx said thoughtfully, and skipped back to join Zexion in the audience.

"Yes, it's nice to see you too. But before we catch up, I have a troublemaker to discipline," Xion revealed, pulling the sleeves of her organization coat up. "Now, Sephy, put the bottle down."

"No," Sephiroth huffed, "And you can't make me."

"Put it down."

"No."

"PUT IT DOWN."

"NO NO NO NO NO!"

"PUT IT DOWN NOW OR I'M TELLING MOTHER," Xion roared, whipping out her cell phone and selecting "Mother," waving the phone so Sephiroth could see it as she walked closer to him.

"OK OK OK! I'll give it to you, just... Put the phone down!" Sephiroth winced as Xion pressed the button marked "call."

"All right all right you can have it back! Just DON'T CALL MOMMYYYYYY!" Sephiroth thrust the bottle into Minnie's hand and dived under the table, sobbing.

Xion snapped the phone shut with satisfaction and called out, "and don't ever let me catch you being evil again, young man! Your Mama taught you better than that!"

"I'm sorrrrrrry I'll never do it again!" Sephiroth wailed from beneath the dining table, the sound of his weeping muffled by the tablecloth.

"Wow, that was amazing! I really thought I was a goner!" Sora wiped his sweaty brow. He looked at Xion "Oh, who are you again?"

"She's a member of the Organization," Axel explained, "but she went missing after we were all resurrected by the Cheese of Youth. Come to think of it, where have you been this whole time, Xion?"

"Yeah, we were all really worried!" Roxas added empathetically.

"And how do you know Sephiroth's mother?" Namine asked suspiciously. "Is he cheating on me with you?"

"Oh, ew, definitely not. Sephy's my big brother!" Xion replied, waving her hands in the air in denial.

"Your brother?" voices in the crowed murmured, and the paparazzi started snapping photos, all wanting to be the first to release this gigantic piece of celebrity gossip.

"Let me explain," Xion replied calmly, "When I was resurrected, I found myself alone, in the streets of Twilight Town, without food or water. Sephiroth's kind mother found me and took me in, adopting me as her daughter!"

"So... Beautiful..." Demyx started tearing up.

"Oh, you poor dear," Minnie commented, dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief, "What a touching story!"

"So, for the past few months I've been happier than I've ever been!" Xion said cheerily, and the sound of mass weeping came from the large audience. "I was so pleased to get the invitation to the party, but since mother is feeling Ill and couldn't come, she told me to make sure I take care of my caring but irresponsible big brother! He's a troublemaker, you see."

"Oh trust, me we know," Riku cut in dryly. "Could we just give Aerith her heart back already? I really want some key lime pie."


	33. Chapter 31: I was Faking it, Fool

**ORGANIZATION CHEESE**

**A/N**: Hello! How are you? Me and _ilovefetacheese_ are just dandy. Enjoy this latest chapter of Organization Cheese!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts. We do, however, own a 3 lb tub of feta cheese, but we're not sharing _that_.

**SERIOUS NOTE!: **All missing asterisks/section divisions in the previous chapters have been fixed! ALL OF THEM! Do you have any idea how long that took? In addition, a CONTINUITY issue has been FIXED! As you may recall, Sephiroth and Mickey switched personalities when they met at the party. However, upon further inspection, it seems as if that was actually their SECOND meeting, which would make no sense. So, we fixed that by changing one sentence a few chapters back. No biggie!

**CHAPTER 31: **_**I was Faking it, Fool**_

"What? Of course not! My mother raised me well, even if it was only for a couple of months! She taught me to be...EVIL! I SHALL TAKE AERITH'S HEART AND FEED IT TO MY MOTHER! WITH THAT POWER SHE WILL BE ABLE TO RULE THE ENTIRE WORLD! Waha!" Xion's eyes turned gold as she announced her sinister plans to the world, and most of the guests were so scared they were trembling, But luckily, Axel, who didn't believe the sob story one bit, was ready to tackle Xion, which he did, while swiftly pulling out his sharp, sleek, shiny scissors. He drew closer and closer to the back of her neck until finally a little device resting there was stabbed, and shattered to the ground below.

"Wha...Axel, my sister! What did you do to her?" Sephiroth cried.

"Ah, don't worry; she'll wake up sooner or later. It's a fan fiction, after all." he replied nonchalantly.

"YOU WILL PAY!" Sephiroth roared, dashing towards Axel.

_Plop_!

In no time, Sephy was tackled as well, this time by Lexaeus from behind, by the command of Zexion.

"OKAY everyone, as I am the only educated person at this whole party, everyone needs to listen to ME, as I know how to cure Aerith! Minnie, the heart please," Zexion held out his hand, and Minnie trustingly placed the bottle with Aerith's heart into it. Zexion's eyes gleamed gold as he turned to face the guests with a casual yet ever-so-cool hair flip.

"Yes, SIR! At your service!" Roxas and Sora stood in front of and saluted Zexion. "What were we doing before we were so rudely interrupted by the evil percentage of King Mickey?" Sora asked.

"Ah, yes, we were about to return Aerith's heart to her. Now!" Zexion held the bottle with Aerith's heart in it up high in the air. "A toast to Aerith!"

The audience started cheering, but the riot died down when they saw Zexion take out the cork nestled in the bottle's neck, and take a nice long swig of the contents of the container.

"GAAAAAAAASP,!" everyone gasped, feeling shocked and very, very confused.

"Ahhh." Zexion wiped his upper lip after he had swallowed deeply.

"WHAT THE *BEEEEP BEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP* do you think you're doing?" Riku and Repliku both exclaimed at the same time, running up to Zexion to try and save the day, only to bump their heads on each other and fall unconscious on the ground (darn clones)...

"Why, I'm saving Aerith, what else would I be doing? But I'm going to TAKE OVER THE WORLD FIRST! MUHAHAHAHAHA!" Zexion threw his arms in the air, laughing evilly and maniacally, eyes shining brilliantly and golden in the spotlights that seemed to face him now, rather than Queen Minnie.

Axel froze. _Zexion?_ he thought, _Evil? I never would have thought! But...it doesn't really suit him...and wait!_ Axel looked over to a King Mickey, his goodness restored, just standing there, not doing anything about this whole kerfuffle of an event! _Why isn't the King moving? Could he be...behind this as well?_

Axel knew what to do.

After quickly applying one last layer of hair gel, finishing off his fifth bottle that day, he dashed through the crowd at top speed, all the while pulling out a pair of his sharpest, shiniest scissors and enjoying the nice breeze that ruffled the frills on his GG trench coat. "Haiiiiiii..." he started, while still crouched and running through the crowd. "YAHHH!" Axel jumped and tackled Zexion, pinning him to the ground.

"Zexion, dear, I fear that the hair on the left nape of your neck is two millimeters shorter than that on the right side! And your elegant bangs are just a little bit ruffled and off. Allow me to fix this for you?" Axel turned Zexion over so he could see his back, and pried the now half-empty bottle from his hand. Axel continued to hold his scissors in his other hand, and stabbed a little device on the back of Zexion's neck.

"Are you done looking noble yet?" Zexion spitted out, sounding weak.

"Why yes, I've just about done enough good deeds for this story by now..." Axel started, "Hey...wait! Why aren't you unconscious?"

Zexion turned himself over, as Axel had gotten up, believing his de-brainwashing job finished.

"And...why are your eyes still gold?" Axel remarked.

Zexion coughed heavily as he reached into the inside of his black cloak and drew out...a contact lens case? He continued to unscrew one side of the case.

"I was faking it, fool." Zexion said coldly as he pulled a golden contact from his eye.

"...what?" Axel spluttered, disbelieving, "but why?"

"To keep Aerith away from THIS!" Zexion cried, grabbing the bottle from Axel's hand, catching him off guard, and finishing the rest of the heart off in one large gulp.

"No!" Cloud cried, reaching a hand out futilely from his position on the ground a few yards away, too weakened by the heart removal procedure to make a move.

Zexion's three travel companions dashed forward, shocked and feeling compelled to help fix this, somehow.

"Zexion..." Leon whispered, "All this time? After all the secrets we shared? I trusted you..."

"Zexion... I thought you were a good guy," Yuffie said quietly, no longer as carefree as she had been.

"Guess you were evil after all, huh, son?" Cid questioned thoughtfully.

"Fools," Zexion muttered darkly, clutching his heart and staggering toward Axel.

"Whoa, there, buddy, are you ok?" Axel asked worriedly despite the situation, grabbing his former ally by the shoulders and preventing Zexion from collapsing on the ground.

"Do I look ok?" the shivering librarian hissed, shooting Axel a dark glare.

"Give Aerith her heart back!" Cloud demanded, getting up slowly and unsheathing his sword. "GIVE IT BACK!"

"Never," Zexion replied weakly, growing paler by the second.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Cloud yelled, aiming his sword towards Zexion, drawing closer to the culprit.

"I feel so..." Leon began as he drew his gun blade and went to stand by Cloud's side.

"Betrayed..." Yuffie finished, joining Cloud and Leon, withdrawing two large shuriken from where they were strapped to her back.

"I hoped it wouldn't have to come to this, kid," Cid sighed as he pulled his spear out from under the buffet table, then headed over to where his comrades were gathered, "But if it's between Aerith or you, son, I'm gonna hafta choose Aerith."

"Stop! Don't do this, please! You're making a huge mistake!" a frail female voice called out, and all heads turned towards its source.

"Aerith?" the queen gasped softly, rushing over to Aerith, who was slowly rising from the ground, hand to her heart. "How do you feel, honey?"

The queen's question was drowned out by the combined war cries of Lexaeus's, Xaldin, Vexen, Xigbar, and Saix. These five had decided to take up arms in defense of Zexion against the combined forces of Cloud and friends. Most peculiarly, though, smoke was coming out from their necks.

"Forget you, Master Cloud!" Saix, the leader of the five, declared, "Nobody messes with one of our own. Zexion and his impeccable laundering skills are invaluable! How else are we supposed to save money? We never need to go to the laundromat!"

"Yeah!" Xaldin seconded, "No one does laundry like Zexion!"

"I don't trust anyone else with my boxers," Xigbar grunted, "So don't you dare lay a finger on him!"

The five raised their weapons, looking fierce, the steam intensifying until, with a _plop!_, evil devices popped off the backs of each of their necks.

"Looks like they overrode their brainwashing..." Axel mused aloud to himself. His train of thought, however, was disrupted when Zexion, leaning heavily on Axel's shoulder, staggered again. With a thunk, Zexion, collapsed, his knees giving way under him.

"Seriously, Zex, are you ok?" Axel looked at Zexion with alarm.

"No... He sacrificed himself to save me..." Aerith answered as she made her way over, the armed combatants parting hesitantly to let her through. Neither side trusted her anymore. "I'm afraid..." she continued weakly, " Zexion... is...dying."


	34. Chapter 32: Look, Mommy, it's Rapunzel!

**ORGANIZATION CHEESE**

**A/N**: Hi guys! If you are reading this, just know that 1. We, the authors, are truly grateful for your continued readership, and 2. We admire you for getting this far! Hopefully this chapter will not disappoint :) No worries, this series will be finished, and hopefully in a timely fashion.

Enjoy!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own KH, GG, Oprah's show, or Gaga's songs. Anything else?

**CHAPTER 32: Look, Mommy! It's Rapunzel! **

"Hold up, hold up..." Axel began, "If Zexion just chugged your heart, Aerith, how are you...alive?"

"You see, Axel, I am living, as in breathing and talking, but I am just like you-still a nobody. I am merely Aerith's shell right now, Thixera. The whole Aerith hasn't been here since chapter 1! " Thixera explained.

Cloud stepped forward and yelled, "What? Aer-Thixera? How can this be? We revived you from the dead… why aren't you whole?" Cloud was frantic. There was a silence broken only by murmurs from the crowd, and Zexion's now-incessant coughing.

"What are we going to do?" Axel asked quickly, very worried about his comrade. "Forget about Aerith right now-Zexion is the one that's alive, and we need to keep him that way! I know he will have the answer to this!"

"Yeah!" Roxas agreed, "We gotta get him some help, quick!"

"Ahem, nurse Donald Duck, at your side!" Donald popped up out of nowhere (where has he been all story? Ah, insignificant annoying characters...), and waved his magic wand as everyone looked over to him. "I can cure Zexion in no time-I am the castle wizard, after all!" He flicked his wand, yelled "Curaga!" and pointed it at Zexion.

Zexion's coughing lessened, but he still was shivering and looked extremely pale. Donald continued and pulled out a bottle from his tunic.

"Please tell me that is not another heart..." Leon said, scowling.

"No, no, silly! This is a super potion! And after Zexion takes this, I've got a super ether for him to take, and then a couple other dandy trinkets to increase his strength and whatnot. Don't worry, Zexion will be brand new in just a couple minutes!" Donald winked.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief as they watched their frenemy's health be restored, because, frankly, no matter what he did, no one wanted to see a fellow character die.

Soon color had returned to Zexion's face, and except for a continuing cough, he looked pretty normal, as he did before drinking that nice little protein shake... except for one strange thing. His hair was now… neon green!

Everyone in the crowd had lowered their weapons and were munching on a midnight snack of feta and pita bread, watching the spectacle before their eyes.

"Um… Donald, are you sure that was a _health_ potion?" Riku asked worriedly, glancing at the duck in the nurse's uniform.

"Of course, silly! See, it says right here… oh…" Donald paused as he held the glass vial up to the light, a frown on his beak. "Uh-oh… Zexion! Quick! TAKE THIS ONE!" Donald pulled another vial out from his pocket and practically force-fed it to Zexion.

Everyone stared at Zexion in expectation as he coughed fiercely, choking on the potion. "What's your problem, _duck_?" Zexion hissed in pain, "You almost _killed me_!" Zexion had fire in his eyes as he glared at Donald, who shrank back a little.

"Now, now, Zexion, please calm… oh my," Axel commented, hiding his mouth behind his hand and trying not to laugh.

"_What_," Zexion spat, "What is it this time?" As he spun his head around to look angrily from Axel to Donald, he felt a peculiar weight on his head… what could be weighing him down?

"Look, Mommy, it's Rapunzel!" came a child's voice from the crowd. A giant, talking kangaroo quickly shushed her child.

Zexion's eyebrow twitched as he ran a hand through his hair… and kept running it… and kept running it…. And kept running it… until he almost lost his balance.

Zexion scrunched his face up in disgust. "Dearest Donald, could you EXPLAIN WHY MY ROCKSTAR HAIR IS NOW OVER 100 YARDS LONG?" Zexion howled.

"LET ME TEACH YOU SUMTHIN' 'BOUT RESPECT FOR YOUR ELDERS," Donald began to splutter (no one actually understood what he said, though).

"GUYS!" Axel cried, holding the two apart, "There are more important things to talk about than Zexion's princess hair! Zexion, can you please tell us why you drank Aerith's heart?"

Zexion looked up, his face and eyes very serious. "T'was not Aerith's heart in a bottle I brought to my lips! It was poison!"

"Gasp!" The whole crowd gasped.

Zexion continued. "I believe...SOMEONE..." he repositioned his neck to glance at Cloud for a split second, then returned to his prior position, "...Has a deep dark secret they are hiding...a secret that needs to be revealed...NOW!"

"What are you looking at me for, punk?" Cloud spluttered angrily, raising his weapon once again, "Who do you think you are, huh? think you can mess with me, the all-mighty CLOUD?"

"Cloud, stop this!" Aerith's nobody cried, putting herself between Cloud's sword and Zexion, "Why are you acting this way?"

"GAH!" Cloud cried, pulling at his hair, "I'm sick of this charade! I hate all of this! I hate baking! I hate Gossip Girl! I hate this wretched spiky hair! I hate birthday parties! But most of all, I HATE CHEEEEEEESE!" Cloud howled at the moon, throwing his arms into the air and waving his sword around in frustration.

* * *

In the middle of Cloud's most shocking speech, Selphie felt someone press something into the palm of her hand. Glancing around suspiciously, she saw a mysterious hooded figure slipping away into the mass of onlookers surrounding the spectacle Cloud was making of himself. She looked down, unfurling the tiny slip of paper that was now in her possession.

_Burn this *beep* to the ground, baby_, it said. Wow, Sora had even managed to beep out the note she was reading to herself. In her head. Now those are some mad censoring skills.

"Guys," Selphie hissed, "take a look at this!" She showed the note to her two spy companions.

"Whoa, who's it from, ya?" Wakka inquired, wide-eyed.

"A mysterious hooded stranger!" Selphie revealed dramatically.

"That is SO rad," Tidus whispered excitedly, "Selphie, we have GOT to take this job!"

"All righty then," Selphie whispered sinisterly, crumpling up the secret note. "One thoroughly demolished castle, coming up. Wakka, hand me the TNT..."

* * *

"What do you mean you don't like cheese?" Sora yelled, heartbroken that his hero was turning out to be nothing like Sora had imagined him to be, "You told Oprah in your interview two years ago that cheese was your favorite food! She even gave you a cheese basket as a gift! And don't forget your special appearance on the Martha Stewart special, Cheesemaking!" Sora pointed his finger at Cloud accusingly.

"I'm lactose intolerant, YOU FOOL!" Cloud roared in frustration, a little disturbed by Sora's obsession with him. "*Beep*ity *beep* this *beep*!" Cloud spat out most vulgarly (thank goodness Sora was there to clean up his language), and then continued, "All right, I confess! I ATE AERITH'S HEART. AND IT WAS DELICIOUS. Are you happy now? Good God it feels good to get that off my chest. I'm sick of all of this!"

Everyone at the party gasped.

"Son, is this true?" Cid asked, horrified.

"He ate my heart..." Aerith murmured softly, looking down, staring at the ground, when all of a sudden it opened, revealing a huge stage, blaring lights, and no one other than...

LADY GAGA.

…Or, rather, Marluxia in a Lady Gaga costume.

"_Don't call me Gaga_," Marluxia intoned dramatically, in his best Gaga-voice, beginning his performance.

Larxene drifted down from the sky and snorted loudly. "Trust me, I won't," she declared, cackling.

Marluxia just ignored the taunts of his on-again, off-again BFFL, and continued to belt out the words to the song as a giant tv display flashed the lyrics karaoke-style behind him.

"GAH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!" Riku cried, fed up with the madness that was this scene, this party, this story. "SORA! GIVE ME YOUR *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*IN' KEYBLADE, NOW!"

Sora stared wide-eyed at his BFFL as Riku approached, wrenched the keyblade out of Sora's hand, turned toward Cloud, declared "Let's END this insanity!" and proceeded to plunge the stolen keyblade straight through Cloud's…

Stomach?


	35. Chapter 33: The King's Bucket List

_**Organization Cheese**_

**A/N:** Our faithful readers! If you have forgotten about us, we forgive you. It's been almost a year! We cannot apologize enough for not updating. Our lives have just been so incredibly hectic it's not even funny. But don't worry, we promise Organization Cheese will draw to a close by the end of the summer. I can't believe it is nearing its 3rd anniversary! We never even thought it would take longer than one summer to write. Until then, please keep reading and stay tuned! Please review!

**Disclaimer:** We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Disney, Final Fantasy, or Gossip Girl.

* * *

**Chapter 33: The King's Bucket List**

"STOOOOOOOOOPPPPP, YOU IMBECILES!" Larxene yelled as she hurled herself in between Riku and Cloud, stopping Riku's act of violence just in time.

"Cloud, my darling innocent fairy god-son, is not at fault here. NO. The REAL culprit is that wretched man over there." Larxene pointed to the silver-haired figure currently pinned to the ground by Lexaeus, with Axel kneeling over him with a pair of scissors about to be plunged into a certain device on the back of his neck. "That's right, our very own Sephiroth!"

Sephy struggled against the heavy weight of Lexaeus (who was sitting on him) to look up after Larxene's accusatory statement, and exclaimed "Fine! I will explain everything!" However, Axel's scissors had already begun on their trajectory towards Sephiroth's neck, and there was no stopping those flaming babies now…Sephy passed out cold on the ground as the golden device on his neck was shattered and fell in pieces into the grassy terrain below him.

"Well, that's great, Axel. You just HAD to steal the show. Zexion, if he's not still dying from the poison, is going to die from being a freak of nature, and now you've just flat out KO'ed any source of explanation for fixing this hot mess. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO *BEEP*ING SAY FOR YOURSELF?" Riku was red in the face from yelling-a red that almost matched Axel's hair color. But not quite. Not quite.

"Woah, woah, woah, Riku, don't fear. Where did Zexion get all his information from anyway, huh? Who started this whole grande, whacked out scheme? Huh?" Axel replied, holding his hands up.

All eyes slowly turned to whom else but the King, who was currently laying back in a leather recliner snacking on popcorn, watching the whole ordeal play out. Feeling hundreds of eyes on him, he rose from his chair.

"Alright, alright, everybody. It's been incredibly fun being able to watch every step of my ingenious plan happen—and yes, I have installed many secret cameras so that I was able to watch _every _step-but I think things have gotten a little out of hand. I suppose I'm well overdue for an explanation, huh?"

"Yeah, I'd say so," Riku said snidely, "It's about *beep*in' time."

"All right, here's the deal. See, I have this bucket list, and entry number #355 is "Become an evil mastermind for a day." But what they don't tell you is that being an evil mastermind is extremely addicting." He shrugged casually, "Get over it. Anywho, for any of you idiots who hasn't figured it out yet, I am BEHIND EVERYTHING. I brainwashed Sephy and Tifa. I had all of them brainwash all of YOU. And now… now! The FINAL STAGE WILL BEG-"

Mickey's speech was cut short by the sound of explosions coming from behind him. One by one, the towers of the castle fell to the ground, and debris rained into the courtyard.

"RUNNNN!" Minnie screeched, grabbing Mickey's hand, dashing towards a gigantic dark portal that had opened in the middle of the courtyard.

"YEEHAWW! I FEEL LIKE A YOUNGSTER ALL OVER AGAIN!" Auron roared, dodge-rolling away from falling debris as he followed the crowd into the portal.

* * *

Two minutes later, our friends found themselves on the dance floor of a 1970's-era disco. Marluxia quietly belted out a Gaga song as background music. Everyone stared at the King, standing in the center of the floor, wearing the trademark white suit of the disco era.

"This is where the game ends," the King declared, raising his hands in the air, "This… is where it finally ends. All eyes were on him. "You see, I-"

"WAIT!" Roxas screamed. The King froze mid-sentence. "MY DIARY'S STILL IN THE CASTLE!"

Axel joined in. "MY GOSSIP GIRL DVDS!"

"MY PRIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE!" Demyx cried

"MY CHOCOLATE MOUSSE I NEVER GOT TO FINISH!" Yuffie chimed in frantically.

"MY MAN!" Yuna shrieked. "WHERE'S TIDUS?"

Everyone gasped. Could it be possible that not everyone had made it to safety after the sudden explosion?

"I'M GOING BACK!" Roxas, Axel, and Yuna exclaimed.

Axel was already forming a teleportation portal of darkness when the King stepped in front of him, holding his arm out to halt Axel.

"It's no use, my minion*COUGH*comrade. None of these things are important anymore."

"You mean a person possibly DYING is not important?" Yuna countered.

"Everything in the castle was simply used as bait to gather everyone for Minnie's birthday gala. They don't actually mean anything. They can be lived without. Tidus, Selphie, and Wakka are trained, professional spies and were hired by me to blow up Castle D'Italia."

"But WHY, King Mickey? Why go to such great lengths for this event?" Sora inquired from the crowd surrounding the King.

"I told you, it's on my bucket list to be an evil villain for the day! And the next bullet down, #356, was to throw my Minnie an intergalactic surprise birthday party! Why, I'd walk to the ends of the galaxy for my Minnie, I love her so much!" Mickey reached his arm out and wrapped it over his love's shoulder, pulling her closer.

Minnie blushed, a bit flustered. "Well thank you, that's very sweet of you, Mickey." Her look grew stern, and she pulled away from Mickey's embrace. "But we all know, however, that I'M not the _real_reason for this giant sequence of events."

Mickey was taken aback at Minnie's harsh words, and a multitude of gasps could be heard across the dance floor. His ears and body glittering from the lights of the disco ball, his eyes slightly shaded from the dim lighting of the dance floor, he stood tall (well, as tall as possible for a mouse of his size) and ominously and squeaked, "She's right."

Another round of gasps escaped the mouths of the guests.

"I didn't do all this just for Minnie. Her party was a facade, just an excuse to fulfill my true intention. MY MINIONS-" Everyone held their breaths. "MY INGENIOUS PLAN WAS NOT, IN FACT FOR MINNIE. IT WAS FOR AERITH!"


	36. Chapter 34: Explanations and Revelations

_**Organization Cheese**_

A/N: Hello dear readers! THE END IS NIGH! The Cheese will soon be drawing to a close. Please stay with us until the end. We've got an epic epilogue planned. :D Please enjoy and review! We love reviews! Let us know if you want to see anything else in the story before it is over!

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Disney, thank you very much.

* * *

**Chapter 34: Explanations and Revelations**

"Are you cheating on Minnie with Aerith?" Tifa shrieked, "How dare you do that to her infinitely kind majesty!"

"Stay away from my woman!" Cloud growled, raising his sword.

"Of all the women in the world, you're cheating on the queen with her?" Namine rolled her eyes. "Tsk. How lame."

"No..." came Aerith's ragged gasp as she approached Mickey slowly, hand still clutched to her heart, "His Majesty wouldn't do such a thing. His Majesty is...infinitely loyal...to his wife and to his comrades."

"Aerith, dear... Do allow me to explain," the king said gently, "Do not waste your energy, Aerith, for I fear you do not have much time left."

Cloud looked painfully up at the king, tears brimming in his eyes. "What's going on, Your Majesty? What's really going on here?" Cloud's voice was weakening, for he was tired of this ordeal, as was everyone in the discotheque.

"Alright... I suppose I have wreaked enough havoc, my friends." The King sighed deeply, "As much fun as it was toying with your lives, the time has come for explanations and revelations... And then THE BIGGEST PARTY THE UNIVERSE HAS EVER SEEN."

In response to his explanation, Mickey received only glares, bloodlust, and raised weapons.

"Now, now, comrades," Mickey soothed, raising his hands, "Before you attack, let's not forget who's the king here... And who saved ALL OF YOUR LIVES."

"WHAT IN THE *BEEP*ING WORLD ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, KING?" Riku could take no more. "We each almost died about five times for you and in the name of this silly quest! *Beep*, Aerith did die! Twice!"

"LISTEN WHEN I SPEAK, PATHETIC IMBECILE," Mickey yelled most menacingly. "Ahem. I meant, hold on a sec, ol' buddy. Your sacrifices were not in vain! You see, I had two goals in mind when I sent you out on this epic quest: Throw Minnie the biggest birthday party in all the worlds, and save everyone who survived the last war with the heartless from the seeds of darkness!"

"The seeds...of _darkness_?" Sora squeaked, frightened, hugging himself.

"Yes...THE SEEDS OF DARKNESS, that were planted deeply in all of you as the war progressed. As each of you fought the darkness, you absorbed it, little by little into yourself. It grew with each heartless you killed, as you emerged from each battle covered in darkness. It entered your lungs as you breathed in the tainted air, it worked its way through your bloodstream, and it finally settled into your hearts. Once there, it accumulated, and was only aggravated by every feeling of fear and frustration you each experienced during the war. Unless I found a way to stop it, each and every one of you would have been consumed by the darkness, and ultimately either utterly controlled or murdered by it. However, luckily for you all, I discovered that the Cheese of Youth had immense purifying and cleansing powers."

"But didn't you use the Cheese on Aerith?" Kairi asked, her Mohawk sparkling in the disco ball light.

"You thought we used the Cheese of Youth on Aerith... but actually, I had Sephiroth use it on everyone BUT her. Why do you think she didn't wake up after Sephiroth released it?" Mickey spread his arms out and laughed.

"Lord Sephiroth... Is this true?" Tifa whispered, shaking.

"'Tis true... Mickey specifically instructed me to use the cheese on everyone but Aerith and the resurrected Organization members, since your infections died with you." Sephiroth shrugged. "Im actually feeling a lot nicer now that I've been purified by the cheese."

"That's my man," Namine cooed, giving Sephiroth a smooch, "Always the hero."

"But then why is Aerith alive? And why were we resurrected?" Roxas asked, on the verge of another mental breakdown.

"And why did we go through all of this torture?" Riku yelled, pulling at his hair, "You could have just sent us a normal invitation!"

"What can I say? I wanted the biggest party for Minnie, I required reliable waiters, you imbeciles needed intelligent guides to the Castle and I'm not getting any younger and that bucket list was looking mighty long." Mickey shrugged and waved his hand dismissively. "As for Aerith, she was never truly living in the first place... what you brought back from the other world, Roxas, was a copy of Aerith made completely from darkness... A nobody with a heart made only of darkness, possessing Aerith's body. Once Larxene killed her off, I was free to use the last bit of cheese I saved to resurrect her. Sephiroth did not have the magical capacity to resurrect her – I had to specially use my infinite powers to boost the Cheese's effect. Now all Aerith needs is her heart, and she will live again, as the complete and untainted human being that she deserves to be. I felt that she was justified in having a second chance at life."

"Yes," agreed Sephiroth. "I really have tried to turn over a new leaf, and Mickey is helping me atone for my horrendous sins." He blushed, looking down, ashamed.

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT..." Riku started. "So why did Zexion drink Cloud's/Aerith's heart? And why is he dying?"

"Ah, good question, Riku! I see you certainly picked up some of my spunkiness while you were trapped in Kingdom Hearts with me, eh?" Mickey questioned.

Riku stared back blankly, just wanting his answer.

"Well, you see, Sephiroth was a very evil man, and when he killed Cloud with his own hands, he transmitted a large amount of darkness to Cloud's heart. Then, when Roxas sent Aerith and Cloud back together from the Promised Land, some of Aerith's darkness was transferred to Cloud as well. Darkness still consumes a person even in the afterlife, so that explains why Aerith's impurities were still with her being. So, Cloud accumulated not only his own darkness, but some of Sephiroth's, plus Aerith's, much of which also came from Sephiroth because that *beep*er killed HER, too! Therefore, there is no way that foul substance could ever be put into Aerith's revived being. Even though Cloud's heart WAS purified by the cheese, he possessed too much darkness for it to be cleansed completely. Therefore, Zexion extracted the remaining evil and consumed it, sacrificing his newfound purity for Aerith's sake." Mickey clasped his hands together as if praying and bowed to Zexion, displaying his deep gratitude.

"Oh, wow...I don't know what to say," Cloud commented

"Me neither...I had no idea, Zexion. I feel like a far inferior person to you. I am forever thankful to you for saving my favorite actress!" Axel explained, causing Zexion to become a bit flustered.

"THANKS, BRO! LUV YA!" Rikku exclaimed. She stepped forward, arms outstretched, ready to embrace Zexion, but he stepped back in turn. "Oh...no...problem. It was nothing! Just...pleasedon'tgivemeahugI'mnotaveryhuggypersonIdon'tlikebeingtouched...okay? Back away please! I take pride in my personal tollbooth of space!" Zexion, always a bit of a germophobe, was talking a mile a minute.

"TOOOO BAD!" Kairi shouted, and all at once, the entire crowd ran up to Zexion(being extra careful not to step on his luscious now-floor-length locks), embracing him in the biggest bear hug in Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, AND Disney history combined.

After the group had been hugging for nearly five minutes, Zexion was quite overwhelmed, and Riku felt it his duty to interrupt the happy moment with, "Wait, what's going to happen to Zexion now? Isn't he dying?"

Mickey solemnly responded, "Zexion will live, but he will someday be so completely engulfed in darkness that he will be consumed by it, surrendering his entire being to it. However, the Cheese luckily purified enough of Cloud's heart that Zexion will have quite some time before that ever happens. Therefore, we don't have to worry about that too much right now.

The crowd Ooh'ed and Aww'ed. "So Zexion really did know it all, huh?" Sora asked.

"Well, yes, of course, but anyone could have figured all of this out. All one had to do was read, just like me." Zexion replied humbly.

"Yeah, I'll just keep on leaving that to you..." Sora joked.

"But, " Zexion hesitated, looking down, " there IS one thing I have yet to figure out...and it's been torturing me so."

Sora, as well as the other hundred-something-odd guests, all leaned forward, listening intently.

"Where-" Zexion started.

All of a sudden, a portal of darkness appeared on the dance floor, startling the many members of the crowd. A blond man ran out frantically, holding a vial filled with a radioactive green liquid.

"I'VE FOUND IT! THE CURE! THE CURE FOR THE DARKNESS!" The man ran up to Mickey, exasperated. "King Mickey! I have found a remedy to cure everyone! To eradicate the seeds of darkness growing among us all! T'is right here!" he raised his hand holding the vial.

"Ansem the Wise...sorry, dude, the deed is done. You're just a tad too late." Axel noted, walking up to the new guest.

"WHAT?" Ansem frantically looked around, finally noticing his disco-themed surroundings and all the members of the KH universe in his presence. " WHAT IS THIS? WHAT'S GOING ON?"

Tifa stepped forward to towards the frantic Ansem. "You...didn't know? This is the final unraveling of the King's epic masterpiece of a plan to throw Minnie a birthday party and save Aerith and purge everyone of their inner darkness. I thought I gave you an invitation!"

Ansem the Wise wiggled a little, looking faint and a bit wobbly in the knees. "I...I had no idea. That slip that you delivered to me...it told me to get to work on this immediately. It told me nothing of a happy event such as this..." His voice sounded distant and far-off. "I've been slaving away underground in the laboratory this entire time. And now I find out it was all in vain? Ahh, I do not think I can handle this!" Ansem shuddered and his eyes began to roll back in his head.

"WAIT!" The King ran forward, catching his old pal just in time before he became unconscious and hit the ground. "This was all part of my plan! Your research was not in vain! You see, there is still one person in desperate need of your services!" Ansem came to his senses and asked direly, "WHO?"

A single frail cough escaped from Zexion's plush, soft lips as he felt all eyes in the room shift to him. "Um..." he stuttered and awkwardly pointed to himself, "Me?"


	37. Chapter 35: Where is Aerith's Heart?

_**Organization Cheese**_

A/N: Hello my dears! Thanks for reading this far! Enjoy~

Disclaimer: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Disney

**Chapter 35: **_**Where is Aerith's Heart?**_

"Who else, doofus?" Riku asked sarcastically, watching with narrowed eyes as Ansem approached Zexion.

"Ah, yes! I feel it now! The distinct aura of darkness surrounding you!" Ansem got closer to Zexion and started pinching his checks. "Why yes, I do believe you are positively infected with darkness! Now drink up, young one!" Ansem pinched Zexion's nose and, before Zexion could even squeak in protest, poured the ghastly green concoction into Zexion's silently screaming mouth. Zexion gagged a little, attempting to swallow the grotesque potion without spitting it out and/or vomiting it back up.

Finally, after an agonizingly long 45 seconds of this torture, Ansem released Zexion's nose and slapped him on the shoulder. "That's my boy!" He complimented Zexion, who was doubled over, coughing harshly.

"What... the... *beep*... was that?" Zexion asked raggedly, in between coughing fits. "Disgusting..." he scowled and stood up a little straighter. "Ugh." He rubbed his throat and glared at Ansem. "Couldn't you have made that bubblegum flavored?"

"Aw, son, bubblegum flavor is for babies! Nothing like a good old fashioned-tasting green potion for you young folks." Ansem laughed heartily. "Don't tell me you don't feel better! Look, your coughing's stopped, and your dark aura has subsided. Looks like I've done it again! I really am wise, now aren't I? Ho ho ho."

"So... my BFFL Zexion won't die then? Or be consumed by darkness?" Leon asked tentatively, then added, "Although it would have been pretty rad if he became a ballerina -" Zexion glared at Leon. "ahem, excuse me - danseur nobel of darkness," Leon quickly corrected his ballet terminology.

"Not at all son!" Ansem reassured the worried Leon, "He will be perfectly fine!"

"Thank goodness! We were so worried, Zexy!" Yuffie cried out, giving Zexion a hug.

"Get off of me, you brainless, twittering pseudo-ninja," Zexion said gruffly, completely ignoring her hug.

"But Zexy!" Yuffie wailed, shocked.

"Oh, quiet. Where were you when I was dying, huh? I SAW YOU EATING CHOCOLATE MOUSSE, YOU DITZ! Anyways," Zexion continued, walking away from Yuffie, leaving her hanging, "I have bigger fish to fry." Zexion pulled a pair of stylish shades out of his coat pocket and put them all. "KING MICKEY," he cried, whirling around glamorously and pointing a finger at the King, "AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE I WAS FORCED TO CONSUME THAT UNGODLY GREEN BEVERAGE, there is one thing that I, in all my universal wisdom, have not been able to figure out! WHERE IS AERITH'S HEART? It's not in Cloud, because as we all know HIS heart is full of darkness!" Cloud scowled and glared at Zexion. Zexion ignored his dirty looks and continued. "It's not in Roxas, because he's too scrawny to hold two hearts." Now it was Roxas's turn to glare at Zexion. "Well, it would have come out of him when we tried to take the heart out of Cloud, anyways. Same goes for Sora. And Sephiroth and the rest of you were too dimwitted and corrupted by darkness to serve as vessels for Aerith's noble heart!" Zexion swept his hands out, "SO WHERE IS IT? I DEMAND AN ANSWER, NOW."

"Oh, my dear, faithful Zexion. Ever so smart... this is the first time you've been so utterly and completely wrong!" His Majesty stopped speaking for a moment to pull a little notebook out from his pocket. "Number 56..." he muttered to himself, "Outsmart Zexion..."

The crowd waited patiently for the King to finish crossing number 56 off his bucket list.

The King put his notebook away. "You see Zexion, you are... wrong! Aerith's heart IS in Cloud!" The crowd gasped and Zexion scowled.

"But we tried that! I thought all I had in me was DARKNESS," Cloud retorted, looking pointedly at Zexion.

"Ah! But Aerith's heart is ALSO in Roxas! AND Sora! AND Sephiroth!" Mickey cried, holding his hands out in victory.

"But... how can this be?" Sephiroth looked at the King anxiously.

"Oh... you don't mean...? Oh... how beautiful..." Zexion started inexplicably tearing up. He pulled a tissue out from under his coat and blew his nose.

Everyone stared at Zexion in puzzlement.

"Ah, you needed a little prompting, but it seems you've figured it out, Zexion, lightyears ahead of everyone, as usual." Mickey smiled gently. "Yes, it is true: Aerith's heart is in Cloud, Roxas, Sora, AND Sephiroth. But it is also in Tifa, and Yuffie, and Leon, and Cid, and each and every one of you in this room!"

Everyone gasped and started looking at each other.

"You see, a little piece of Aerith's heart is buried deep inside each and every one of you! You have all been influenced and moved by Aerith in some way! Each person here touched Aerith's heart throughout the journeys composing our joint quest to save the universe from the darkness!" Mickey's speech was interrupted by the sound of wailing coming from the audience. Minnie pulled a handkerchief out from her clutch and daintily dabbed at her eyes.

"It's true..." Aerith said quietly. The crowd quieted its wailing to let her speak. "When I died the first time, my heart was split into hundreds of pieces, because I would rather it stay here with all of you... my friends, who I love dearly. You meant so much to me during my life, and I wanted to leave a small token of me in you, to give you strength and to help you fight the darkness growing within you."

"Yes... her heart is the purest in all the land. In fact, if she hadn't granted you the gift of a sliver of her heart, all of you would have been consumed by the darkness by now." Mickey looked at the crowd grimly.

"Your - *sniff* - Majesty!" Tifa cried out, "How can we ever repay her? How can we give Aerith her heart back?"

"Ah, now, now, don't fret too much, Tifa. Restoring Aerith's heart is actually a fairly simple task." Mickey consoled his guinea pig.

"Then HOW do we do it?" Yuffie yelped, feeling extremely anxious and impatient.

Mickey explained, "Well, I must enlist the help of our two dearly beloved, but perhaps not completely sane, Keyblade bearers."

"CHECK!" Sora and Roxas stepped up into a straight horizontal line, saluting the King in perfect unison. "Excellent! Now, walk over to Zexion and give him a big bear hug."

Zexion looked up towards the King, startled. "Ah, yes? No? Please?" But Sora and Roxas did as they were told, engulfing a frantic Zexion into his second warming hug of the day.

"TAKE IT FROM HERE, BUD! I HAVE FAITH IN YOU!" The King screamed, then backflipped away, gaining a multitude of "Ooo's" and "Ahh's" from the crowd, landing in a reclining chair with a beer already in the cup holder. He muttered snidely, "Showtime!"

"Ahem, well..." Zexion pushed Sora and Roxas away and proceeded to reach into his coat and pull out a fairly large and dusty book, accompanied by thick, black-rimmed readings glasses, which he placed on his flawless face after a glorious, luxurious hair-flip and a batting of those long, luscious eyelashes, mustering squeals from the fan girls heavily swooning in the background.

Flipping to an already-bookmarked page somewhere in the middle of the book, Zexion cleared his throat and began. "OKAY. This procedure will be not much different from the previous one you used to extract the darkness out of Cloud's heart, sans the singing. Oh, that was just awful. It was originally just for my personal amusement, but then that horrifying, screeching sound exited Sora's mouth, and I realized it was a ghastly mistake."

Sora, taken aback, "hmph"ed loudly in Zexion's face. "Well, aren't you snarky for someone who was dying fifteen minutes ago?" Oh, it was on.

"ANYWAYS," Roxas interjected before the story was delayed another two chapters, "Zexion, What is the first step in order to gather Aerith's heart and return it to her?"

"Ah, good question, I think first I need to make an announcement, and then we shall get started." Zexion turned to the crowd, pulled and air horn out of his coat, and set off an incredibly loud alarm, causing everyone in the room to stop in their tracks and look towards the trio, the only motion in the room that of the disco ball lights prancing around. "ATTENTION ALL YOU INSOLENT, IGNORANT GUESTS. PLEASE ASSEMBLE YOURSELVES INTO A STRAIGHT SINGLE-FILE LINE TO ALLOW THIS PROCEDURE TO PROGRESS SMOOTHLY AND EFFICIENTLY. THANK YOU."

As the crowd shuffled about, Zexion turned to the two Keyblade-bearers. "Now, Sora, Roxas, you must place your blades together in an X-shape as if you are dueling." The two did as they were told. "Now, bend your knees just a wee bit, point the keyblades toward the crowd, and spin slowly but gracefully around, and then when you come back to face each other, cross your weapons in the same position as before." The two young lads tried their best, but, alas, they are no skilled dancers like Zexion. They tripped over themselves and stumbled onto the floor, mustering gasps from the crowd.

"I'm soooorrryyy, Zexy, we'll, we'll do it again!" Sora cried, almost in tears, shuddering at the thought that he may have cost Aerith her heart.

"Nah, it's all good, that was just for fun too. I wanted to bring shame upon you two buffoons, at least one more time in this story. Gotta luv ya!" Zexy shot the two a gleaming, pearly white smile, thoroughly creeping out every person in the building, causing an awkward silence, which Roxy broke by saying,"ANYWAYS...what do we do now?"

"Ah, well that really is fairly simple, but it will take great effort put forth by you two to succeed," Zexion explained. Both key bearers nodded their heads determinedly, signaling that they were ready. "Now," Zexion continued, "walk over to Aerith and point your keyblades together toward her heart. Focus your whole being on mustering every ounce of your magical powers into one grand curaga spell."

A slight "clink" could be heard among the dead silence of the crowd as the two Keyblades met. The heroes closed their eyes, and soon a soft green glow emanated from them, growing steadily stronger as their concentration deepened. Zexion broke the quiet. "Okay, perfect. Now, still concentrating and keeping your keyblades joined, walk over to the crowd and repeat the same thing we did to Cloud. Plunge the keys in their hearts, and it will draw out their fragment of Aerith's heart." A few worried, hushed whispers swept across the throng of guests, but Zexion spoke to reassure them of their worries. "There is nothing to be afraid of, so do not fret! This will not hurt at all. When passing through your hearts, the keyblades will become transparent, and will slide right through your bodies, not puncturing anything but the parts of your souls that contain Aerith's fragments. This will be painless and quick. First person, please step right up!"

One by one, the guests stepped up to Roxas and Sora to return Aerith's piece of heart to her. Each time the keys were plunged into a chest, a small pink glowing shard emerged from the person's being, and floated up above everyone's heads, each successive heart fragment adding on to the previous one, slowly forming a large heart-shaped blob. The last one up was Leon, who solemnly and earnestly stepped up for Aerith's sake. And when the fragment escaped his body, said softly, a tear escaping his watery eyes, "I somehow feel like I've lost a friend...but I don't feel bad at all, because I know for sure I'm gaining a real one..."

The crowd erupted into loud sobs as Sora and Roxas took turns plunging their keyblades into their own hearts and donating the final pieces of heart back to Aerith. As the last fragment took its place, a blinding light filled the room, then slowly dimmed, revealing to wide eyes a shining, pure, crystal heart. The two key bearers slowly walked over to Aerith and lowered the heart to her chest. Floating, it magically made its way towards her body. The moment it made contact, another blinding light flooded the room, startling the crowd.

When the flash subsided, Aerith was unconscious, slumped over on the floor. Leon rushed up to her, holding her head in his hands, placing it on his lap. He whispered, "Aerith...open your eyes."


	38. Chapter 36: LET'S PARTY!

_**Organization Cheese**_

**A/N:** Hello dear readers! All conflict is resolved in this chapter...NOW LET THE FUN BEGIN! There will be one or two more chapters of Minnie's party and then a super epic epilogue. Please stay tuned!

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, Disney, or Lady Gaga.

**Chapter 36: LET'S PARTY!**

Cloud rushed over and body slammed Leon out of the way. As Leon rolled on the ground in pain a few meters away, Cloud grabbed Aerith's unconscious body and held her to his chest, cradling her as tears leaked gently from his eyes. The droplets sparkled in the revolving lights of the discoball as they fell onto Aerith's pristine, sleeping face.

"Aerith..." he whispered, "...please wake up... please... I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU," he wailed, clutching Aerith tightly.

"Cloud..." came a barely-audible whisper from Aerith, "Don't worry...I won't leave you... again." Aerith's eyes opened a crack, and she lifted her hand to brush the tears from Cloud's cheek.

"...Aerith..." Cloud whispered reverently, "You – you – you're back! Are you – " Cloud couldn't finish his sentence, because he was overcome with trembling sobs of joy.

"Yes... my dear... I am whole again," she replied quietly, and smiled at Cloud, her one true love. "Let me go, Cloud... for a second, please." Cloud could only nod and comply with her request, his head bowed, his tears pooling on the dance floor as Aerith stood.

"Thank you... thank you all," Aerith addressed the crowd, who were all weeping hysterically. Tissue boxes were being passed from hand to hand, and not a single eye was dry. Even Auron, the silent manly man, let a few tears escape and drip down his stoic face. Even Xemnas and Sephiroth, the evil masterminds that they were, were blowing their noses furiously and had put sunglasses on in order to hide their red eyes.

"You have each done so much for me. You all kept my heart safe and close to your own while I was in the spirit world... you never forgot me, no matter how much time passed, or what battles you had to fight without me. You traveled here, in a journey that for some took several months, and was full of hardships," Aerith smiled gently out at the crowd. "And now... it seems that your journey is over. How can I ever repay you for what you've done?"

"Well, _I_ for one have a jolly idea, Aerith!" Mickey exclaimed, springing up from his throne of darkness. All eyes turned to him. "LET'S PARTY!"

Suddenly, the lights went out, and the crowd was left in pitch darkness. Namine let out a squeal of fear, which was quickly quelled when Sephiroth wrapped his strong, muscular arms around her thin, frail body.

"Sephy-baby..." Naminé whispered dreamily, "Mmmm... I wuvvv youuuuu. You're so strong and purrrrrrrrfect and manlyyyyy."

"Nami-kins... I wuuuuuuvvvvvvvv uuuuuuuuuuuuu moooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrr, ughhhh," Sephy replied.

"EW. PDA, TMI" Sora's voice exclaimed from somewhere in the darkness, "I am THIS CLOSE to censoring you guys right now... if I don't vomit first."

"Nami-kins'" and "Sephy-baby's" romantic drivel would have continued infinitely, had a spotlight not suddenly burst through the darkness, illuminating none other than...

"OMG IT'S THE FAMOUS POP GROUP EGU2OMU!" Kairi squealed, fainting.

"WAIT!" Roxas yelped, "That's... HAYNER, PENCE, AND OMELETTE?"

Olette's voice rang out across the dance floor. "_Don't call me Omelette_," she began, and the band began a Gaga cover song... with a slight change in the words. The crowd erupted into cheers... all except Roxas and Seifer.

"I can't believe that I was bullied all these years by... a FAMOUS POP TRIO. THOSE POP PUNKS." Roxas shook his fist in the air in anger.

"Oh, just let it go, Roxas! You didn't die when they kicked you off the clock tower!" Xion exclaimed, grabbing Roxas and Axel by the hand. "Anyways, you have new best friends now! Let's dance!"

Roxas sighed and gave in, doing a little hip jiggle.

As the trio's song came to a conclusion, Olette and Hayner looked into each other's eyes and sang the final note together. Hayner and Pence each gave Olette a congratulatory hug... but Seifer thought that Hayner held Olette a little _too _closely. Seifer looked increasingly agitated. In fact, it looked like he was about to explode in anger... or was it some other emotion? Could it be... LOVE?

"," Seifer screamed, and tore through the crowd as he ran toward the stage. He jumped onto the stage, sweating profusely and panting in exertion... and passion. "I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE. ALL THESE YEARS... I HAVE HARBORED A SECRET BURNING PASSION FOR YOU."

Olette looked at Seifer wide-eyed in shock as everyone in the room gasped at this sudden confession of secret burning love. "Seifer..." she whispered as emotion overwhelmed her. She approached him slowly as he sank to one knee, too spent to go on.

"Olette..." he whispered as she reached a hand down to caress his cheek, "Marry me, my secret burning love. MARRY ME RIGHT NOW... OR I WILL NOT BE ABLE TO GO ON LIVING."

"Seifer..." Olette cried as she sank to the ground next to her newfound love, "Yes! YES! I HAVE ALWAYS LOVED YOU! EVER SINCE THAT DAY WHEN YOU KICKED ROXAS OFF THE CLOCK TOWER FOR ME – oh..." Olette reeled in shock as she realized that she had spilled the beans.

The crowd could only gasp in shock once more.

"Olette..." Roxas yelled as he hopped onto the stage, "WHY? WHY DID YOU TRY TO KILL ME?"

"Because..." Olette whimpered, looking away from Roxas, "BECAUSE YOU CALLED ME OMELETTE! IT WAS YOU! I HAD TO LIVE IN TORTURE BECAUSE OF YOU! I WANTED TO GIVE YOU YOUR JUST DESSERTS, YOU BLUE-EYED PRETTY BOY!"

"AHEM." Xemnas broke in, speaking into a microphone, resuming his position as party host and announcer. "I believe it is time for our next guest... all the way from Spira, I present to you YRP!"

A few of the former waiters dragged Roxas, Hayner, Olette, Seifer, and Pence off of the stage as smoke flooded the room and strobe lights emerged from the ceiling and floor. Three figures, enveloped in the gray fog, rose up from the floor, their backs to the crowd.

"Y..." came Yuna's voice from the figure in the middle.

"R..." Rikku called from Yuna's right

"P!" Paine announced from Yuna's left.

The three figures whirled around and launched into their smash-hit single "Luv U 4Eva." The crowd cheered and everyone danced merrily.

"This is the best... party... ever!" Naminé squealed as Sephiroth whirled her around.

Demyx cried silently at the punch bowl as he watched Naminé dance with another man.

"Yo dude," Marluxia called to Demyx as he strolled past, elbows linked with Larxene. The duo stopped in front of the moping mullet-head. "No tears in the punch. Get your behind over to the bar and I'll buy you a drink. Drown your sorrows like a REAL MAN."

Demyx merely looked up at them with teary puppy-dog eyes. Seeing such a sight, Larxene proceeded to whack Demyx over the head and haul him up by his shoulder.

"Listen to your elders, dumbo," Larxene insulted Demyx. However, her tone gentled as she felt her fairy godmotherly instincts kicking in. "Don't worry about Naminé. She's just a pathetic, flighty flirt anyways. She never really cared about you."

Demyx only bawled harder as Larxene and Marluxia dragged him over to the bar.

"One 'Heart of Darkness' for the young lad over there... and make it strong," Marluxia ordered for Demyx, sighing. "And two 'Odes to Love' for the lady and I." Larxene giggled girlishly next to Marluxia.

"May I sit here?" came a voice from above Demyx, whose head was lying lifelessly on the bar, causing his tears to pool on the glossy surface below him. "Hello?" the woman's voice said again, and she bent over to look at him more closely. "Demyx, are you ok?"

Demyx opened his eyes slowly, and blinked twice to clear away the tears that were blurring his vision. As his eyes focused on the woman's face in front of him, he shot up straight and yelped, "Tifa?"

Tifa looked at him with concern, "Err, is it ok if I sit here? Do you need some... space?"

Demyx held up a finger. "One moment please." He whirled around, his back now to Tifa, and pulled out a handkerchief. He viciously rubbed at his eyes, making sure they were completely dry, and blew his nose fervently. He pulled a small mirror out of his coat pocket and adjusted his hair, reapplying a bit of gel to make sure his spikes were perfect.

Demyx whirled back around and faced Tifa. "Hey there," Demyx said lowly, wiggling his eyebrows seductively, "Can I buy you a drink, you fine thang?"

"Errrr..." Tifa leaned in closer, thinking to herself, _Aigoo! Good thing I put on my slinkiest little black dress today. _"Sure thing... honey bun." She smiled sweetly and sat down next to Demyx.

Marluxia looked at Demyx and rolled his eyes. "Rebound." He sighed in disgust. "Well _that_ didn't last long."

"And here I was feeling all fairy godmotherly toward him." Larxene frowned and downed another martini.

This sickening love fest was interrupted by a loud "BOOM," and the ceiling of the discotheque was whisked away, along with the disco ball (_Oh no!_ thought Zexion, _How am I going to show off my funky ballet disco moves now?_).

Ansem's voice rang out over the loud speaker, "Now introducing...THE SUPER SPY TRIO!" An extremely loud bass beat emanated from the speakers, vibrating the entire dance floor and all the people on it. "I LIKE THAT BASS LOUD, YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Auron screamed among the audience, wiggling and jiggling his thang thang and running through mini dance circles already forming.

Three figures crash landed on the stage, sending another stronger vibration throughout the large room. A girl clothed all in black stepped forward, revealing herself from the dust shrouding the group. "HELLLOOO, YOU BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE! We have come all the way here undercover from the Destiny Islands just to perform for you...and maybe do a few other small tasks...ANYWAYS, LET'S ROCK!" The girl tore off her hat covering her eyes and nose to reveal none other than GASPSELPHIEGASP, and the two others stepped forward, following suit, showing the crowd that they were Tidus and Wakka. But the revealment DID NOT STOP THERE. Tidus and Wakka apparently had previously formulated a dance routine. They did a few air-borne somersaults, and when they landed, ripped off their shirts, garnering many fangirlish squeals from the crowd. Minnie even fainted, causing Mickey to glare at the two surfer boys. The three continued on with their act, starting a dance number and singing "Disco Inferno."

Yuna postponed her groovy dance moves to whisper proudly into Rikku's ear, "Now _that's_ my man! Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!" She giggled girlishly, glaring at any other female (or male) in the room looking passionately at Tidus on stage.

"HEY, RIKU!" Sora yelled from somewhere across the dance floor to call attention to his friend, currently dancing with Yuffie inappropriately. Let's just say you did not want to see Yuffie's ninja moves that evening, because you probably would have seen a lot more than just her dance moves. Nevertheless, it kept Riku preoccupied, thus the reason why he did not hear Sora's unimportant banter.

"HEY, RIIIIKKKKKKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" The persistent brunette screeched even more loudly, catching the attention of both Riku and Rikku now. "YOU DIRTY HOUNDDOG! I'M GOING TO CENSOR YOUR DANCING RIGHT NOW! DIDN'T YOUR MAMA EVER TEACH YOU HOW TO WALTZ WITH A LADY?"

"Oh...what does Sora want with _me_? Does he want to DANCE? OHMIGODOHMYGODOHMIGOD!" Rikku twirled the multiple braids in her hair nervously. She half-ran, half-trotted, half-gallopped, half-floated, half-stumbled over in Sora's direction. But there were MANY obstacles in her way.

Rikku managed to maneuver her way through most of the rambunctious crowd, until...it hit her.

_BAM._


	39. Chapter 37: Riku, Rikku, or Repliku?

_**Organization Cheese**_

**A/N:** *cackles*

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Disney.

**Chapter 37: Riku, Rikku, or Repliku?**

"OUCH *BEEP* *BEEP *BEEP WHAT THE *BEEP* WATCH WHERE YOU'RE *BEEP*IN GOING," Riku growled, rubbing his head ferociously where Rikku had hit it with her outstretched arms as she ran through the crowd in a daze.

"Owwww," Rikku whimpered as she shook her hand, "It hurts..."

"APOLOGIZE NOW," Riku demanded, grabbing Rikku's other arm and whirling her towards him. As Rikku lifted her head to apologize, revealing her eyes, brimmed with tears, Riku felt all the fight leave him as his heart skipped a beat. "Oh... I'm sorr –"

"RIKU! DIDN'T YOUR MAMA TEACH YOU NEVER TO MAKE LADIES CRY?! AND DON'T THINK YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK FOR THAT DIRTY DANCING I JUST WITNESSED! Grrr, I take my eyes off of you for one second and – ohhh..." Sora stopped short when he saw Riku and Rikku gazing into each other's eyes longingly. "Ok then... well I'll just be... going now, I guess." Sora pointed awkwardly to his right and slowly walked away.

"Rikku..." Riku said gently.

"Riku..." Rikku intoned, overwhelmed with emotion as she felt herself drowning in Riku's ocean blue eyes.

"HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!" came an eerily familiar voice from the newly-formed couple's right. "Riku! Get your hand off of Rikku! And Rikku! You know that Riku isn't the one for you! IT IS I, REPLIKU! I am the only Riku that you should be with, Rikku!" Repliku thumped his chest with his fist and proceeded to approach the duo.

Riku and Rikku could only stare at Repliku in confusion.

"Me?" Both Riku and Rikku said in surprise, each pointing to themselves.

"I mean, well, I'm flattered, Repliku," Riku started stuttering at the same time that Rikku yelped, "And um, wow, Repliku, I never realized." Both looked at each other in confusion.

Repliku stretched out his arm and his keyblade appeared. "I am afraid that there is only one way to resolve, this, Riku... by a DUEL TO THE DEATH! FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN!"

Riku pulled out his keyblade while Rikku unsheathed her knives. "I don't want to fight youuu Replikuuuu! But if that's what it's come down to, I will gladly make sure you fall with honor!" Rikku cried, tears falling freely as she assumed a battle stance.

"Bring it, you second-rate facsimile! " Riku growled, crouching low.

"Wait, wait!" Repliku waved his free hand in the air frantically, "I don't want to fight with _you_, Rikku! "

"What!" Rikku exclaimed, "But you just said –"

"Hold it," Riku interjected, relaxing his stance, "Just which one of us are you in love with here, and which one of us do you want to battle to the death? Because I'm personally very confused."

"I'm in love with _Rikku_, of course, buffoon!" Repliku shouted, frustrated.

"DUDE. BOTH OF OUR NAMES ARE PRONOUNCED 'RIKU,' SO WHEN YOU SAY IDIOTIC THINGS LIKE THAT WE CAN'T TELL WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT . MALE RIKU OR FEMALE RIKKU? WHICH DO YOU LOVE?" Riku spluttered, now thoroughly incensed.

"What? Whoooa, sorry dude, but I don't feel that way about you. I mean, I'm flattered that you think of me that way, but that's like being in love with _yourself_,dude. _Creepy_." Repliku shivered in fright at the thought. "Of course it's female-Rikku that I love! Ever since I first laid eyes on her!"

Riku put his hand over his eyes and counted to ten in order to contain his rage. Once he had sufficiently regained his composure so that he could speak civilly rather than rip Repliku's head off right then and there, he uttered angrily, "First of all, _dude_, I would never in a million years feel that way about a buffoon like you. Second of all, bud, that's _my girl_ you're in love with, and quite frankly I just can't deal with that. Plus it kind of creeps me out to have a flawed and inferior copy of myself running around. So I guess we'll just have to FIGHT TO THE DEATH." Riku assumed battle stance once more.

"Riku..." Rikku gazed at Riku dreamily, "I'm... you're girl? Tee hee hee hee hee!" She giggled girlishly, punching Riku in the shoulder bashfully.

"Owwwww!" Riku howled in pain, because Rikku had hit him there once before, and she had quite a bit of strength in her fist. He clutched his shoulder and his Keyblade dissolved.

"DID YOU HEAR THAT REPLIKU?! HE SAID I'M HIS GIRL!" Rikku squealed, proceeding to punch Repliku in the shoulder repeatedly as she blushed furiously.

Needless to say, Repliku sank to the ground wordlessly, the pain apparent on his face.

"Come on, Riku-honey! Let's go get some punch... one cup, two straws, ok?" Rikku giggled as she hauled Riku up by his injured arm, and dragged him off towards the punch, ignoring Riku's whimpers of pain.

"Oh look, Riku! It's Yuffie! HEY YUFFIE!" Rikku called out to the other girl... who was currently cartwheeling around the dance floor. "Hey Riku," Rikku whispered to her companion, "What's wrong with Yuffie? She's acting stranger than usual."

Riku snorted, "I doubt that, but I might as well ask her... YO YUFF, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GIRL?"

"IDON'TKNOWRIKU BUT I DO KNOW THAT YOU ARELOOKINGSPLENDIDTONIGHT!" Yuffie landed in front of Riku, arms outstretched like a regal egret. "Care to dance again, honey buns?" Yuffie asked, leaning in towards Riku and wriggling her eyebrows. Rikku glared at her, but Riku only laughed.

"Suuuuure sweetie... let's go dance over by Leon, hmmm?" Riku grabbed Yuffie by the elbow and dragged along toward the bar. "I think she's a _bit_ drunk, Rikku... let's just get Leon to take care of her." Rikku nodded silently, still staring at the young girl who was hanging onto Riku's other elbow.

"YO BIG BRUNETTE DUDE," Riku called out as they approached the bar, "Good evening!"

"Ho ho ho," Cid chuckled, "I see you have two ladies on your elbows tonight, Riku! I didn't think you had it in you, you player! Ho ho ho!" Cid chuckled again and then took another swig of his beer. Leon, however, did not greet Riku, just glared at him darkly and chugged another shot of tequila.

Riku pushed Yuffie into Leon, causing him to wrap his arm around her waist in order to keep her from escaping. "Just how much has _this one_ had to drink!?"

"Hmm..." Leon spoke distantly. "She had some water a while ago...but I'm not so sure that was water anymore..." He reached to fill his shot glass once more, hoping to drink away his sorrow at his loss of Naminé, but stopped when he realized Yuffie probably needed him more.

"_Again_?" Cid exclaimed, "Hasn't she learned her lesson by now? Just order a diet coke and there is no mistaking it for vodka! Sheesh!" He shook his head and raised his bottle to his lips again. "These young'uns don't listen to anything that comes out of their elders' mouths..."

"Ciao!" Riku called as he turned around and quickly escorted Rikku back out onto the dance floor, leaving Yuffie in the hands of the big, tuff, ruff, Leon.

"Leeeonnn..." Yuffie said dreamily, looking up at Leon's striking features in admiration.

"Oh, begone. I've had enough of being mushy and unmanly." Leon shoved Yuffie into the seat next to him, slammed his shot glass down, and stood up. "WHERE'S ZEXION?" he shouted, "I NEED TO SEE MY BFFL NOW, SO WE CAN DISCUSS CLASSIC LITERATURE *COUGH*NARUTO*COUGH*."

"Oh be quiet," came a voice from a few barstools away, "It's just getting juicy." Leon looked over to see who was interrupting his search for Zexion, only to discover that it was indeed Zexion who had just spoken so sternly to Leon!

"Oh hey BFFL! Is that volume 792?" Leon inquired, walking over and seating himself next to the bookworm.

"No, I've fallen a bit behind – this is volume 790. I'm at the part where Sir Naruto IX discovers that Sasuke VIII is actually his long lost father! Let's just say that it is _quite_ the scandal!" Zexion burrowed his nose deeper into his manga volume.

"Gasp!" Leon gasped, "I never expected that! Wait – did they already solve the mystery of the stolen noodle bowl?"

"Of course, doofus, and they won the Ninja Olympics along the way, too!" Zexion frowned and continued devouring his book.

"Oh, don't spoil it for me! Ugh," Leon shook his head, "I hate spoilers! Next time warn me, dude!"

"Well, then don't ask for spoilers, foolish BFFL," Zexion retorted and flipped the page snarkily.

"Wellll, since you've already spoiled some key plot points, how about you answer one more little question for me? DOES MY OTP END UP TOGETHER OR NOT?!" Leon waved his hands in the air frantically. "I swear, if Naruto and Sakura's ninth reincarnations do _not_ end up together, I just don't think I'll be able to go on living."

"Well, if you really want to know..." Zexion's voice dropped down into a whisper, "The truth is that Sakura IX and –"

Zexion's voice was suddenly overpowered by Ansem's, as he declared through the loudspeaker, "And next up we have the fabulous Zexion, Danseur Nobel of Darkness! Everyone welcome him as he graces the stage! This is his grand debut!"

Everyone cheered as Zexion got up. He waved goodbye to Leon and said, "Whoops, looks like it's my turn! Here, read this and keep yourself busy!"

"Oh... ok," Leon replied sadly, for he had not been able to hear the answer to his burning question. Leon sighed deeply and resigned himself to the prospect of having to read the 50 volumes he had neglected before discovering the answer to his OTP woes. _Wellllll... maybe one glance at the last few pages wouldn't hurt_, Leon thought to himself as he picked up the book that Zexion had left on the table. As he flipped open to the last two pages, though, his face froze, and he dropped the book in shock.

Luckily, his wails of fangirl grief were drowned in the sound of Zexion's ballet music flooding the discotheque, and his manliness was preserved... for today at least.

* * *

While Zexy was whirling around on stage, a fracas was erupting on the dance floor between the young'uns from Twilight Town. Seifer, tightly holding Olette under his arm, shielded her as she yelled at Roxas.

"It's ALL YOUR FAULT! ALL BECAUSE OF YOU, I HAVE TO ENDURE ENDLESS TORTURE FROM EVERYONE IN TOWN! I THOUGHT SEIFER WOULD NEVER LOOK AT ME AGAIN WITHOUT LAUGHING AND LOOKING DOWN ON MEEEEE. DO YOU KNOW HOW LOW MY SELF ESTEEM ISSS-SSSSSS. I NEVER WANT TO HEAR ANYONE CALL ME OMELETTE EVER AGAIN!" She cried, burying her face into Seifer's shoulder, holding him close (which he did not mind at all as he wrapped both arms around her back)

"What?" Roxas was a bit confused. "Your name isn't really Omelette?"

Olette fell to the floor, feeling faint, dragging Seifer down with her.

"I never made that up. If you thought I did, I'm really sorry! But that's what I heard someone call you when I moved there!" Roxas held his hands out in front of him defensively.

"But..." Olette replied faintly, "If it wasn't you, then who? Who'd you hear it from?"

Roxas, Hayner, Pence, Fuujin, and Raijin all pointed their fingers at none other than...SEIFER!?

Olette tore away from her fiancé. "SEIFY-KINS! HOW COULD YOU?!" She wailed at the top of her lungs.

Seifer lowered himself, doing a kowtow to his fiery burning passion. "I...I'm sorry...I'm a bully...I really liked you, and I thought that would make you instantly fall madly in love with me. I thought you loved eggs! I watch you eat them every day from across the school cafeteria! Every day! Devilled, hard boiled, scrambled, sunny side up, over easy! I didn't think anyone could eat so much of one thing! I mean, who even _needs_ chicken when you eat that many eggs?! I thought...you would find it funnnyyyyyyyyyyyy," he sobbed, grasping tightly onto Olette's ankle, begging for forgiveness.

Axel, who had previously been hitting some hip dance moves with Kairi, who was really loving head-banging to the music with her new mohawk (despite apologizing to someone every two minutes because she poked them in the back or in the eye with her heavily gelled hair), noticed the commotion going on over on the other side of the dance floor and jigged over there to see what was up with his home skillet biscuit 4 eva, Foxy Roxy.

"Hey, Rox," Axel put his hand on his pal's shoulder. "You bored here? Want to go pay a visit to Luxord's underground club*COUGH*poker game*COUGH*?!"

"Uh...sure." Roxas glanced at the interesting predicament happening before his eyes, and realized that he'd better get out of there before some ninja shurikens started flying out of nowhere, and before Raijin started "chasing cookies" again...

Axel led Roxas, who was quickly followed by Xion (who just wasn't into ballet), down a dark and ominous spiral staircase located at the far end of the stage.

"Er... Axel, are you sure this is the right way?" Roxas inquired nervously as the staircase tunnel only got darker and colder as they walked further below the stage.

"Yeah dude, I saw Luxord go down this way about an hour ago..." Axel replied, snapping his fingers to start a small flame to light the way. "Oh look... I think we're getting to the bottom. I see some light!"

"DANGNABIT!" The trio jumped about a foot in the air when they heard that yell coming from beyond the doorway in front of them. "I ALMOST HAD IT! ARG!" The three friends watched as Luxord tossed his hand of cards in the air, stood up, slammed his fist down, and then walk away from one of several poker tables in the underground room.

"Errrr... is everything ok, Luxord?" Xion asked cautiously, looking around the room, which was full of villains.

"Oh, hey sweetie," Luxord said fatherly, turning a new leaf, "Everything's just fine. . . I think you should go now, ok?"

"Oh no no no," Axel cut in, striding off toward a poker table, dragging Roxas and Xion along with him. "We're here to make some Munny, old man."

"Hmph," Luxord hmphed, and wandered off to another table.

Five minutes later, Axel was rolling in the dough. "VIVA LAS VEGAS, BABY!" he cried, kissing his mountain of poker chips. "DADDY IS RICH TONIGHT! OH HO HO HO HO HO HO HO!" The crowd that had gathered around him oohed and ahhed. Luxord frowned deeply, very upset that this youngster was winning more than him.

Axel looked down at his hand. _Royal flush!_ He thought to himself in jubilee, _This will win me enough money to buy the latest Gossip Girl DVDs for the next 5 years! Oh ho ho ho ho !_

"Well, folks, you're all out of luck," Axel began, smirking, "because I've got here a Roy – "

"PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR," a voice cried out suddenly, interrupting Axel's victory, "I SAID IN THE AIR, NOW! DROP THOSE CARDS!"


	40. Chapter 38: All in a Day's Work

_**Organization Cheese**_

**A/N:** Well, that's all, folks! It's finally over! But there will be an epilogue, so stay tuned! More on that in a note at the end of the chapter.

**Disclaimer**: We do not own Kingdom Hearts, Final Fantasy, or Disney.

**Chapter 38: All In A Day's Work**

The entire room stopped what it was doing, dropped cards and put hands in the air. Everyone stared at

the doorway, the source of the voice...

"Sora?!" Roxas exclaimed, looking at the young boy threatening the room with his keyblade outstretched.

"YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT!" Sora screeched, effectively silencing Roxas and anyone else in the room who dared chatter. "HOW DARE YOU RUN THIS ILLEGAL GAMBLING OPERATION UNDERNEATH MINNIE'S BIRTHDAY PARTY?! I'M SHUTTING YOU DOWN FOR GOOD, YOU CONVICTS! NOW OUT WITH YOU! ALL OF YOU! BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT ARRESTING YOU AND THROWING YOU RIGHT INTO INTERGALACTIC JAIL!"

"But Sora –" Axel began to protest, before he was cut off by Sora.

"_INTERGALACTIC JAIL, AXEL_," Sora threatened viciously, waving his keyblade in the air. "NOW OUT! AND LEAVE YOUR WINNINGS IN THE BUCKET BY THE DOOR! BLOOD MONEY! ALL OF IT!"

One by one, the poker players left the room, shuffling past Sora ashamedly. Sora gave his keyblade an extra warning wave when Axel passed, scowling at the almost-jackpot-winner.

"Sheesh," Sora intoned irritatedly as the last villain shuffled shamefully out of the underground poker room, "These people never learn, now do they?!" He shook his head in disappointment as he shut the door and pasted a sign over it, which read: "CRIME SCENE. PROPERTY OF INTERGALACTIC POLICE. DO NOT ENTER."

"All in a day's work!" he chirped, swinging his keyblade over his shoulder, walking away from his job well done.

Meanwhile, the party guests on the dance floor were jammin' to Marluxia's elegant harp playing. The more refined guests, like Princess Aurora and Belle, were waltzing with their princes. Other guests... *cough*RikkuandRiku*cough* were dancing a bit more disgracefully, making for a strange combination with the harp music.

"What is this noise?" Selphie muttered under her breath and scowled as she filled her cup with a ladle of punch. "Do they really think this dude is better than my spy gang? I'd rather hear a few bombs exploding, coupled with a wailing fire alarm." As Marluxia hit a particularly riveting and elegant note, Selphie knocked the punch bowl to the floor in anger.

"Ow!" came a cry and a grunt from behind the table. Lexaeus, who had been bending over to retrieve some forks he had dropped under the table on his way to serve the King and Queen, stood up, rubbing his head.

"Oh my gosh! Sorry!" Selphie squeaked, reverting to her girlish persona. "I didn't know you were down there!"

Lexaeus just grunted in response and glared at her, his orange hair now wet and plastered to his face. He started to walk away, but suddenly stopped and slammed his fist into the wall, denting it sending fine cracks up to the ceiling. "I can't stand this music," he said darkly. He grabbed a platter of bacon-wrapped liver from the table and walked off, ready to resume his job as a butler.

Selphie just stared at him in fascination. Here, she had finally found a man that rivaled her in destructive force and matched her taste in music... and who didn't yap on and on and on about hair gel or gossip girl all of the time, like Tidus and Wakka. Here, at Minnie's party, she had found a REAL man.

"Waaait!" she cried out desperately, running after the butler. "Wait!"

Lexaeus turned to face her, red punch still dripping down his face, as Selphie reached him. He simply stared.

"Err..." Selphie began nervously, her face flushing a little. "I really wanted to try these!" She grabbed one of the little balls of liver by the toothpick and ate it quickly. "Mmmm! This is delicious."

"Master Cloud made them," Lexaeus said simply, "I will pass the compliment on."

"Oh! Master Cloud?" Selphie gabbed on, stepping in front of Lexaeus as he began to leave, "Do you work for him?"

"I am merely a butler," Lexaeus replied, and tried to push past Selphie.

"What's your name?!" Selphie burst out desperately, not wanting to let the man of her dreams go without even knowing his name.

"I am Lexaeus, the butler," came the simple reply. Lexraeus looked at Selphie, waiting for her name so that he could return to his duties.

"Oh, I'm...uh..." Selphie was finding it especially hard to remember her name. "Iloveyou!"

Another awkward silence.

"Would you, er, like another bacon-wrapped liver, Miss Iloveyou? They are the chef's specialty." Lexaeus offered her the tray, seeing as she wasn't moving out of his way anytime soon.

"No! I mean yes, I would like some more liver, but my name isn't Iloveyou, it's Selphie and I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOUR MANLINESS! I LOVE YOUR DESTRUCTIVENESS!" she squealed and blushed excitedly.

"Um, well..." Lexaeus kind of stared thoughtfully and said, "My mama _has_ been insisting that I settle down with a nice girl soon... she wants a few grandbabies..."

"LET'S DANCE OUR WAY TO THE COURTHOUSE!" Selphie squealed, and grabbed Lexaeus's tray of bacon-liver rolls, shoved them into the arms of Sora, who happened to be walking by (already laden down with a _very_ large bucket full of shiny coins. Thank goodness Axel swung by to help Sora carry all that...), and took Lexaeus away into the crowd.

Yuna, who was slow dancing happily with her bleach boy Tidy, saw Selphie pass by with her newfound man, and gave her friend an encouraging wink and thumbs-up. Tidus, who realized what Yuna was doing, gave Lexaeus a suggestive brow-wiggle as the poor man half-wiggled, half-limped by, being dragged by Selphie.

Wakka, on the other hand, was sitting at the bar, crying all alone. Even though he had given his best during his performance and ripped his shirt off, Queen Minnie, his beloved, had not even glanced twice at him. Yes, she was a married woman, but couldn't she just dump Mickey like yesterday's trash and run into his manly arms? Or at least have a clandestine affair with him? After all, Wakka knew how to keep a secret. He let out a deep sigh, and stared at the apple of his eye, who was sitting on a throne on the other side of the dance floor, gazing at her husband.

But wait... did Minnie just glance at him?!

_No, it couldn't be... I'm just imagining it... right?_ Wakka thought to himself, unwilling to get his hopes up.

"Bud, you don't wanna mess with a married woman, y'hear?" Cid called out from a few seats away.

Wakka shot his head up. "What?!" he looked at Cid in surprise. The older man shifted over and sat next to Wakka.

"I saw how you were staring at her, Wak." Cid chuckled and took another swig of his beer. "Sure, she's a fine catch, but I've had a few affairs with older and married women in my day, and let me tell you... the end ain't pretty." Cid gazed off into the spotlights, his mind on younger days. "Sure, it was fun... and sneaking around her husband is _always_ a thrill, but the minute he found out I had to ditch town, change my name, and join the witness protection program. Even after all that though... sometimes I still can't stop thinking about her, and looking her way... old habits die hard, y'know." Cid sighed, a look of pain on his face as he stared at the King and Queen.

"Whoa, Cid, just _who_ did you mess around with that you had to join the witness protection program?!" Wakka asked eagerly, in awe of the older man's experience. "Was she the wife of someone high up in the government? Or a crime boss?"

"...both, I'm afraid," Cid answered, and smiled grimly. "He was in bad business back then... and she was treated like a queen... I had nothing to offer her but my poor heart."

"That's...so... beautiful," Wakka whispered, feeling his manly heartstrings being pulled. "Come on, old man, 'fess up! Who was it?!"

"Nah, I can't tell ya," Cid said firmly, and shook his head. "Like I told ya, witness protection and all. I really don't want to change my name again. I mean, of all names, why did they choose 'Cid'? Huh?!"

Wakka leaned forward, whispering now. "Come on, you can tell me." Wakka touched his heart. "I can keep a secret. Cross my heart and hope to die."

Cid thought about it, hesitating.

"I'll take this info to the grave, ya. _TO THE GRAVE!"_ Wakka said fiercely.

"She's in this room." Cid whispered, his eyes darting around.

"In... this... room?" Wakka's eyes scanned the dancefloor madly, counting the married women present. _Princess Aurora? Nah, too young. Belle? Same deal. A... fairy godmother? Do they even get married?_ He shook his head to clear all the thoughts.

"Who is it, man? I don't see anyone here who fits the bill!" Wakka whispered.

"I told you... she's a queen..." Cid murmured, his eyes looking straight at...

QUEEN MINNIE.

"_NO_." Wakka yelped, then covered his mouth. "You're only saying that because I was looking at her!"

"What?! You were looking at _her_? I thought you were looking at _Naminé_, like every other lovesick dog in this place!" Cid exclaimed, no longer whispering.

"Naminé's not even married, fool!" Wakka cried out in exasperation.

"Are you kidding me? Have you _seen_ that rock on her finger lately?" Cid spluttered, gesturing towards the love-dovey duo of Sephiroth and Naminé.

"_What_. But wouldn't their engagement have been mentioned in the Destiny Island Gazette?!" Wakka wondered out loud, then shook his head. "No, that's not the issue here. The issue is... the issue is..." Wakka stopped when he saw Cid glaring at him. He glared back, just as fiercely.

"Take this to the _grave_, kid, or I will take _you_," Cid growled, no longer the advice-giving father figure he had been previously.

Both men stood up, ready to fight.

"All right everybody, that's enough," Minnie's gentle voice drifted across the dancefloor as she spoke into the microphone. Cid and Wakka dropped their fists, enraptured by the vision of their love. Minnie looked across the crowd... and a slight look of pain crossed her face when her gaze met that of her old flame's. But in a second, it was gone... never to be seen again. The radiant queen continued to speak. "That means you Auron... no more crowd-surfing, please." She smiled at the crowd, and a prompt _thunk_ could be heard as someone dropped Auron on the ground. A wail of pain could be heard.

"I can't thank you all enough," she began again, once the crowd had fallen silent. "Your presence at my party means everything to me. It is the best birthday gift that I could ever receive. To see you all happy and smiling... especially Aerith and Cloud, for you two are so very dear to my heart. Thank you to all of you who have travelled from near and very, very far to join me on this special day."

"_VERY FAR_," Riku yelled out angrily, but was quickly silenced by a glare from Saix the butler.

"Ahem. Although I must retire now, please eat and drink to your heart's desire, and dance long into the night. I wish you a safe... and short trip home." Minnie smiled and curtsied gracefully.

The crowd cheered, and some tears could be seen escaping from even the manliest of eyes.

Then, it was Mickey's turn to speak. "Ahem. Well, yes, thank you for attending my dear, _faithful_ Queen's birthday party. I do apologize that for some of you, it may have been... a rough journey."

"_VERY ROUGH!_" Riku yelled again, and was once again swiftly silenced, yelping in pain.

"Yes, well, like I said, I do apologize." Mickey fronwed in the slightest. "I guess, in a sense... I used you all. But it all worked out ok in the end, right?! Look around you! Everyone is gathered here in celebration tonight, Aerith included! Could you ask for more?!"

The crowd cheered thunderously.

"As Minnie said, you all have my thanks! Now, enjoy yourselves... job well done, minions! Now, I must leave and begin planning next year's celebration!"

As the audience cheered and Mickey retreated from the stage, Riku, Sora, and Kairi looked at each other warily.

"Let's move. And change our names," Riku said quickly.

"I'll start building the raft!" Sora volunteered, "I have plenty of munny now for supplies... now where did my bucket go?!"

"And I'll work on those court documents... hmmm, how does Kai sound for a new name?" Kairi asked eagerly, stroking her Mohawk.

"Errr... sure, Kairi, er, Kai... it sounds totally different," Riku agreed hesitantly, already thinking of ways to escape from the islands... and possibly his friends.

"Can we go home now?!" Sora whined, "I really need to use the bathroom, and I'm kind of afraid of the toilets here. I've been holding it this whole time."

Riku and Kairi just stared at their smiling friend, very, very disturbed. "Er... let's find Axel. _Quickly_," Riku cautioned, already weaving through the crowd, looking for their guide.

"Yo, Ax!" he called out, spotting the tall red-haired guy, "Take us home, will ya'? We've had enough of this shindig."

"I was just thinking the same thing," Axel agreed, snapping his fingers to open a portal to darkness. "Roxas! Xion!" he called out to his two friends who were eating cheesecake nearby. "Time to go!" The duo ran back to Axel.

"Axel... are you... pregnant?" Riku asked Axel awkwardly, looking at Axel's suddenly gigantic stomach.

"Errrr... there's nothing to see here," Axel said suspiciously as he turned around quickly, "And just ignore any clinking noises that may or may not sound like a large jackpot of munny. I just ate too much cheesecake, that's all... had to loosen up the belt a few notches, ok?! Is that a problem?! Are you calling me FAT?!"

"No, no, no... just wondering if you were hiding something from us, that's all," Riku reassured Axel, waving his hands in the air. _I have __**got**__ to get away from these weirdos_, Riku thought to himself.

Riku, Sora, Kairi, Xion, and Roxas all followed the wobbling, clinking Axel into the portal to darkness, thoroughly relieved to be going home. Other guests soon followed suit, entering their own portals to darkness, opened by the butlers. One by one, the party guests shuffled out.

As the last portal to darkness closed, the discoball burst into flames. Sparks flew everywhere, and the fire soon engulfed the entire discotheque.

Mickey emerged from the flames and whispered ominously, "_See you next year... minions_."

Mickey's cackles echoed in Sora's, Kairi's, Axel's, Roxas', Xion's, Sephiroth's, Naminé's, Cloud's, Aerith's, Demyx's, Larxene's, Marluxia's, Xemnas's, Saix's, Vexen's, Luxord's, Xigbar's, Xaldin's, Lexaeus', Zexion's, Tifa's, Selphie's, Wakka's, Tidus', Yuna's, Rikku's, Repliku's, Paine's, Leon's, Yuffie's, Cid's, Auron's, Omelette's, Seifer's, Pence's, Hayner's, Rai's, Fuu's, Ansem's, and, most of all, in Riku's dreams. Or, rather, nightmares.

THE END.

A/N: Stay tuned for the epilogue, coming very soon! Ilovefetacheese and ilovefetamorethanyou hope you enjoyed the story! Thanks for sticking with us this far. This story has been our baby for the past three years, and we are really sad to see it end. What will we write next?!


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